Loveliness

What a lovely birthday! It began with kisses, a card and flowers, roses and stargazer lillies. Many calls came from loved ones along with dozens of messages and posts on FaceBook. Lunch from Del Rancho was a BLT. A trip to The Festival Of The Arts, where I found a lovely wooden serving tray inlaid with stones, made a perfect birthday gift. From there a couple of happy hours spent wandering through Myriad Gardens, admiring the beautiful plants and waterfalls. Home, dinner from Paseo Grille, delivered by 858-ToGo. Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting finished the day. A perfect birthday, all in all, one I couldn't think of another way to improve.

Attending the Festival Of The Arts is an annual tradition. Darling Husband first took me there on my birthday when we were dating. We've gone each year since then. It's special, and a treat that makes me smile when I think of it. 

This year I wasn't looking at paintings or photos. I wanted to "see" things I could touch. I'm done purchasing artwork for the walls of our home. Now, it's textures, items with unusual feels to them. Seeing art just doesn't work for me anymore, it's pretty much a closed chapter. Wood, glass, metals and stone now appeal to me, as do textiles. Missing sight bugged me a lot at the festival. Touching things, listening to the many performers, being in the warm greenhouse with the incredible plants, sipping an icy cold soda are helping me to adjust to seeing less and less as the days pass. My other senses are compensating somewhat for the lack of vision.

This morning I'm watching Ferris Bueller, and laughing, truly enjoying myself. That movie shows how to really enjoy opportunities like an unexpected gift of time. The dog and cat are curled up on the sofa with me. How they can sleep is just beyond me, they take napping to a fine art. Each one stretched full length, feet twitching with dreams of adventures and soft woofs and purrs. They are each one the picture of contentment.

Today promises to be delightful. A lovely, warm and sunny day. The house is clean, laundry done, meals prepared needing only nuking to serve. A day made for enjoyment. Perhaps, I'll have the computer read to me for awhile, plant some elephant ears and caladiums. Maybe go for a ride, blast some tunes and straighten the garage, sorting more items for my youngest child's new apartment. Cleaning up the patio, planting vines in the huge pots and changing out the pillows on the patio furniture. Actually, I could do all of it. Who knows?

Two old friends from different parts and eras life contacted me over the past 24 hours. My heart is filled, happy and joyful. It's amazing, the way that lives and souls connect and meet and touch each other over a lifetime. Some things, a word spoken at the right time, a hug, a favor given without thought of payback, even a smile at a stranger make a universe change for people. You never can miss by being kind.

Enough for now.

Good Week So Far

Another busy week, and it's only Monday evening. The house is clean, laundry done. Darling Husband's Ex moved into our guest apartment over the past couple of days. Most of the items from the apartment are stacked in the garage and will go into storage for the time being.

Watching Ally McBeal again tonight while thunder rumbles outdoors. Still on season one, rationing it out a couple of episodes at a time. How I miss great TV shows like this, they are few and far between. I'm glad I had great vision when it was on originally, there's so much visual humor.

My Dad is in the hospital, going home Wednesday to have hospice care. Once again, I'm losing another parent. In some ways my heart is breaking again, others have me feeling almost numb. So much loss in the past year and a half, the deaths of immediate family members, the rapid loss of my sight, the loss of a close friend of 50 years. Part of life, I know, but enough is enough!

Tuesday.....

Today is raining so I'll devote the rest of the day to organizing the items going to storage. Some, I will probably pass on to my youngest who just got a new apartment a couple of weeks ago.

The weather is too cold and wet to do any yard work. This is the latest that I can remember getting my gardens planted since moving to Oklahoma. It gives me the opportunity to make more decisions about what to plant and where, as opposed to going to the plant section of the store and grabbing flats based on what is just pretty.

The weather has me napping frequently. I am sleeping well, the latest medicine dosage tweak has made a universe of difference. Just being able to sleep and awaken feeling refreshed is pure heaven. It changes my attitude about life and myself. 

Speaking of sleep, my pillow is calling.......

Stormy Night

Tonight I'm watching Ally McBeal, the first season. It was (and still is) my very favorite show. Losing more sight and adoring a show that is heavily visually oriented will more than annoy me over the coming decades. I'm trying to commit the show to memory. A couple of episodes at a time is making me extremely happy.

We have had some monster storms here in Oklahoma for the past several hours. Several tornados and large hail. Our power went out twice and the cable is still out. Other than that we stayed safe and dry.

I keep telling myself that gardening needs to be done. Last week was an ice storm, tonight will be down to freezing. Patience will pay off in a big way, but sometimes it's really hard.

In just over a week I'll be turning 52. I sure don't feel that old. Most of the time I still feel like I'm in my teens. Age is attitude, having some great genes doesn't hurt.

Enough for tonight, my eyes are hurting from trying to focus.

Sunday

So, I'm spending Sunday relaxing and studying. Later I'll listen to the final day of the Master's Golf Tournament, getting up next to the TV in order to see the azaleas blooming in many of the screen shots. Amen Corner is one of the prettiest locations in the world, and gives a nod to the golf course's early life as a plant nursery.

Over the past few days we got my youngest moved into a new apartment, and yesterday moved Darling Husband's stepdaughter and her baby into a new home. This is removing a lot of worry from us, knowing that our youngsters are settled. In my own best interest it also has helped me to weed out more possessions, even to the point of emptying a closet in helping to set up homes.

It has been a busy week, not just the moving but also helping Darling Husband's ex get her home ready to sell. It should go on the market tomorrow. She'll stay in the guest apartment while she house hunts. I think that's great. We are all good friends and it gives her the opportunity to look for a new home at her leisure.

I'm ready to get outside and ride this week. The weather is cooperating, and I'm more than ready to just be outside. Seems as though I've kept too busy with indoor projects, and it's bringing on some cabin fever. I need to get the outdoor gardens planted, I'm almost a month behind. However with the ice storm last week, it's just as well that we waited.

The hobby items have been moved to a cabinet in the kitchen, a place where I'm not shut away from the rest of the world. The hobby room is now a spare room with lovely decor that needs a bed to convert it to a guest room for the grandchildren.

Paperwork arrived yesterday for starting Orientation and Mobility Training. I'm ready, especially after tripping over a racquetball bag earlier that I was unable to see at ground level. After a couple of years of dizziness and frequent falls I should be used to it, but it still scares me. I need the help that training with the white cane will give me.

One of my Docs tweaked a medication dosage this week, and I can sleep normally again. That hasn't occurred more than a couple of nights here and there since before thanksgiving. Now, I'm sleeping 12 hours at a time, but I'm resting well and feel great when I awaken. Talk about a nice change. I'm certainly enjoying it.

Enough for now, I'm in the mood for pancakes and bacon.

What I'm Currently Studying

What I'm Currently Studying

Braille

Quantum Physics

String Theory

Finding My Muse

Style, Deportment and Poise

Braille is the highest priority at this time. Learning braille will permit me to keep studying everything that I want to from now on. It will give me freedom to replace part of what blindness takes from me. It will also expand my horizons and keep me more self sufficient, capable of doing things for myself, which is a high priority in my life.

Muse is keeping my mind straight, showing me that living a life that's true to myself will bring contentment, joy and peace of mind. Its guiding me to be the best person that I can possibly be, teaching me that having the wonderful life that I've dreamed of since childhood is within my grasp. It's available to everyone who is willing to reach for it. This is helpful in coming to terms with blindness, it gently brings me back to where I need to be when I get completely overwhelmed by this disease. 

Style, Deportment and Poise are to improve not just my looks and body, also my self confidence and to make me more graceful. I feel clumsy a lot of the time, there is so much that I cannot see, especially at ground level. Needing to feel more comfortable walking, whether or not heels are worn, is important. Part of studying these topics is also to improve my manners. To make me more considerate of others as well as to make me less focused on myself by showing interest in whomever I am speaking with at the moment. With this disease I tend to focus more about myself, and its a trait that I prefer to not have. I took charm school classes 40 years ago, even did some runway modeling, but I'm more than overdue for some brushing up on the subjects.

Quantum Physics and String Theory captured my imagination years ago. Somehow, I just can't let go of those topics until I understand them as much as I possibly can. The ways that this universe was made and functions just fascinates me. The more knowledge I attain, the more I want to know. I study them for a month or two, and then put them aside until I feel that I fully understand that portion and am ready to go to the next part. I may never finish studying them, and that's alright. 

Learning to satisfy my curiosity will likely never end. I hope to keep learning everyday of my life. I have always been like this, constantly learning a variety of topics at any given time, beginning from the time I could first read.

Finally sitting down and writing

Today I'm enjoying the company of a tiny little girl with sparkling eyes, a huge 6 tooth grin, and a shriek that can probably shatter glass. We've spent the last 7 hours together, both more than ready for a nap which will not occur until her mama comes and gets her. We have played, made huge messes, made an Easter card for her mama, ate too much, played a lot with dolls, watched Dora and SpongeBob (I hope to never, ever see them again), cuddled and snuggled, taught her the word "No" when it comes to kitchen knives, made her angry at not getting free reign in everything she wanted to do, giggled and laughed a lot, smelled pretty flowers, and will probably do more of the same again sometime soon.

I have more than 80 nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews. Probably a few great greats as well, but they are so hard to all keep track of. I'm Auntie to this one in a convoluted way. Darling Husband's former stepdaughter's baby. Hey, family is family as long as the love is there. 

Hoping to get out and ride again sometime this week. I'm feeling somewhat cooped up, and am now sleeping up to 18 hours at a time. 

I have a roast to throw in the crockpot, an angel food cake to bake, one parent to phone, and that's it for the have to's. Ready to relax and enjoy myself.

Got the Luminess makeup system a couple of days ago. It's really pretty neat, takes care of blending that I can no longer see to do with regular makeup. My face looks absolutely perfect, no splotchy areas, pores or wrinkles. Instead of my 50's, I now look like I'm back in my 20's! I use a 12x magnifying mirror to check when I'm done, and it just amazes me. Perfect skin even magnified 12 times, I sure wouldn't have believed it. Between the luminess system, retinA, frownies, and my hairdresser I look younger than before I had children. Love it! Instead of laughing at the infomercial when it first came out, I should have ordered it then. Who says I have to look my age?

Vanilla Biscotti coffee is brewing, cranberry/mandarin candles are lit, and for me, it's now a few days later. Been keeping pretty busy with things large and small. 

Tonight is for relaxing, after having company all day. It feels great to curl up in a beanbag chair and floor pillows, using the huge ottoman for a coffee table. I rarely sit on any of the chairs or sofas other than dining room chairs. The comfort of bringing whatever I'm working on to this spot makes me feel much younger (and a lot more limber) than I actually am.

Okay, after dreaming all of my life about wanting some space of my own, I finally have it. A beautiful, sunny room, full of all sorts of delights that are there just because I enjoy them. It's a fantasy come true with beautiful decor and gorgeous furniture. .....And, it's too lonely. Off at the end of the house where I can't  see or hear what is going on. Those sunny windows don't show my lovely gardens, opening those same windows won't bring in the scent of my roses or the birdsong from the feeder in the peach tree (which is in bloom). So, my thoughts are to turn it into a guest room with... I have no idea.

The rain has gone on for the past couple of days. I'm counting on these April Showers to bring the May flowers. Of course it helps if I plant them. Plenty of seeds are ready, I just have to go to Lowe's and buy up every purple petunia that they have.

Spending more and more time in the dark. In low daylight I no longer turn on the lights. Living without the sight is getting more and more comfortable. Finding things is getting easier, at least at home. Cooking is getting better as long as the crockpot gets used frequently. Gotta remember to collect my favorite recipes and enlarge them. 

Enough for tonight.