More.

I made it through Mother's Day. Had a few meltdowns, some major, some minor. Slept, cried, ate orange sherbet, cried and slept more. The only highlight of the day was the Survivor Finale, and then slept again as soon as the winner was announced.

I had yesterday booked solid. Eye tests and another appointment with Dr. Larsen in the morning. The afternoon held appointments with my Shrink(s) and with my GP. More blood work. The ear infection is back, and worse, so I'm on the third round of antibiotics and will see my Otologist if its not better by Monday.

More colors fading and the left eye is down to shapes, some colors, light and dark. It shimmers more than usual this evening. Annoying. There is a huge bruise almost a foot long on my left thigh from running into furniture the other day. A large bruise on my right arm is nearly gone after a few weeks.

So, after a lot of arguments and fighting, I've made a decision. I'm gonna Take the steroid sparing drugs. The thought of the risks associated with methotrexate scare the crap out of me. I spoke with my GP and eye specialist yesterday and am not convinced that the drug is as safe as they think It is. I'm more than willing to try new technology, there are new things being learned and discovered each and every day. This one is one that I don't feel good about taking. I feel that I'm being pushed into taking it. Lowering my immune system more than the steroids already have will make me give up so much. For what? That's what I'm asking. To see for a few more months? Maybe a year or two? Is it worth it?

Half a dozen hats are on the kitchen table waiting for new bands and decoration. If I've got to wear them, they might as well look great. My hobby cupboard has several dozen rolls of ribbon, all colors, widths and materials.

Baskets hold silk flowers, peacock feathers and other trims. When it rains later this week, I'll spend a few enjoyable hours working on them.

Enough, I'm worn out.