I returned my beautiful wedding ring to Hubby. It was a family heirloom, never truly mine. I knew when it was given to me that someday I would have to return it. Still, it hurt. It signifies an end. The end of a marriage, a life together, of times which will never again occur. Guess I should just appreciate the fact that I was honored to wear and love it while I could.
I'm packing my life up in boxes. Seeing things that I have not seen in years, wondering if I need them in my new life. I see memories in my cookbooks, of special occasions, of loved one's who were part of my life. I see my daughter's hands learning to use favorite kitchen utensils so many years ago. I hold dish towels that my Grandmother crocheted for me.
Gathering my china, hoping to pack it carefully enough to survive this move. I inherited some of it from a relative decades ago. Other pieces have been added year by year as finances permitted.
Only a couple of boxes of kitchen wares left to pack. After crossing it and the bathroom off the list, I can move on to the closets and books. I need to make a trip to the storage unit to find a few things like the spare bathroom scale, perhaps a dining table, etc.
The grocery store was today, where I picked up curtain rods, dog food, and a water filtration system. The water in the town I'm moving to is not safe to drink. When I lived there, up until a few of years ago, we would receive a statement from the water company every quarter. It would state that the water had unacceptable levels of pollutants in the water which could cause cancer and nerve and kidney damage. The notice would then state that we should go ahead and drink it. How messed up is that? Needless to say, I will be using the water filter religiously and consuming only bottled water when I am not at home. Better safe than sorry.
I'm packing drapes as they come out of the dryer. Still have to take down and wash lace curtains. That will finish another chore.
I will miss this home. It has seen good, bad, love and laughter. It has seen tears and grief also. In the last couple of years we had a child in a war zone. We lost our parents, three to cancer, one to Parkinson's disease. We faced illness. The illness broke us, that, and the addition of another woman into the house. It was beyond our ability to handle, even with counseling.
So much of my life is in these boxes being carefully packed and organized in the garage.
I'm somewhat overwhelmed by all of the work involved in this move. Cleaning, packing, sorting and organizing every part of my portion of this home. I'm not happy about doing it. I have no desire to leave. I want for our marriage to work. I want the happily ever after.
I'm actually packing less than I had thought that I would. That is subject to change as I open more cupboards. However, I don't want or need much in life. Music, books, crafts, plants, comfy places to sit and relax are important to me. I want to sit on the porch on a cool morning with a cup of spearmint tea, listening to the birds sing. I want a simple, lovely, cozy home. One that is warm and welcoming. A home full of charm. Whether I can see it or not, I still want a home that I can be proud of.
Enough for now.......
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