Thursday

Drugs have been taken for my back. Note to self, stick with half a pill due to being stoned out of my gourd. Good news, I quit hurting.

Dinner at Charleston's was great. I ordered a slice of key lime pie immediately upon arriving and savor end every bite. Ended up bringing home three quarters of  my dinner because I was full. Worth it. 

Trying to continue weeding out possessions in order to simplify my life. Have piles in the garage going to relatives holding a garage sale. I want the house to look great, but I don't want to spend hours daily to care for it all. Not being able to see things means I spend most of my time cleaning over and over. Why bother? Seriously, if we don't use it, enjoy it, love it for one reason or another why keep it around? 

Actually I'm really a fine one to talk about it. I have a lot of photography books and antique cameras. Having grown up with a darkroom in the house, it's been natural to have a camera on me all of my life. Now they do me no good. I gave a lot of the books to a niece beginning a photography business, and still have a lot. Things like that are hard to let go of. Just another realization that I'll never see enough to take photos again. I'll probably end up passing the rest on to Jenyfer and know that she'll get use out of them.

There are many things around the house that I used and loved for years, but really do need sight for. Getting rid of them feels like giving up, I get that. I'm not giving up on a future cure, but I won't keep beating myself up by having things I cannot use in any way sitting me around making me feel depressed by a lack of ability to use.

We're finally getting my car ready to sell. That hurts so much. I love that car, and only got to drive it for a short time. Not driving just gets all over me. It takes this disease from being a huge annoyance and inconvenience to a real life changing event. It makes it more real, knowing that my life is being altered in ways that are far beyond my control. 

Being blind just plain sucks rocks. I don't want to live behind sunglasses, carrying a white cane, being dependent on others. I want my life back! All of it!