First thing this morning I went to Target for last minute milk, bread and stocking stuffers. There were more employees than shoppers, and I wandered about the store thinking of other Christmases.
The most magical holidays are part of my memories. 2007 was a helicopter ride on Christmas Eve in a two seater Robinson 22 to see Christmas lights. Another was when a friend showed up on Christmas Eve years ago with one of my sisters who had been adopted by another family. I'll never forget that first meeting and the friend who found her for me when I had been looking for years. Another was Christmas spent in St. Kitts, pure paradise and someplace I'd love to return to someday.
Then there were bad ones too. The year my ex made me return the children's gifts and he bought himself a PS2. The Christmas following my daughter's death. The year I lost my job the first week of December when my bosses got into an argument and one locked the other out of the company along with most of the employees. No money, and looking for a cheaper apartment. I saw an unlocked car full of presents and I stood next to it and cried like a baby because I couldn't afford any for my own children while others had so much that they left their car unlocked and the car windows down. Sad years....
Life has become so much better and I remember the tough times. Some years it's teddy bears for the police, and every year Toys For Tots as well as the Salvation Army. I don't want others to go through times without being able to have something for their children the way I did during the rough times. It's worth it to purchase toys and deposit them into the bins provided. I think of the youngsters who will receive the toys as I buy them and it makes me feel great.
I look forward to darling Husband opening his gifts tomorrow morning, and I hope he likes them. As soon as he left for racquetball with his brother this morning I jumped out of bed and raced over to my neighbor's house so I could get his big present that was hidden in her garage. Now it's safely wrapped and under the tree.
There is still a cake to bake, and one gift to deliver when the recipient returns home from her holiday trip to see family. New music CDs to listen to, movies to watch, snacks to munch upon, a family gathering tonight, dirty Santa gifts wrapped and ready to take. Family to love upon, some to hug in person, some on the Internet and phone calls to make. And SNOW! Lots and lots of snow beginning overnight tonight. Lovely to see, but 6 to 10 inches does seem like a bit much.....
I think of family members no longer with us. Darling Husband lost both of his parents this year. My daughter, all but one grandparent in that generation, one of my stepmothers, friends who have passed away as well as some I have lost track of over the years.
I miss the Christmases of childhood, the pure magic of Santa, the time with friends and relatives, and holiday trips..........
Life is wonderful, and Christmas is once again magic!
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