Waiting for a few things to be picked up by neighbors. The dining table and chairs, a bed, end table and a brand new flat screen TV are all that is left. A couple of bags of trash are ready to go out, a cooler needs to be packed.
I have a few books and a magazine to take to the community room library. After donating over 200 books, most of which I had purchased for Mom, the apartment feels huge. I also donated her computer software and most of my DVD's.
Everything else went quickly. I mentioned to one of the neighbors that I did not want to take everything home with me. Within moments the apartment was full of people, and several more days were spent that way.
Spending time with the residents of these apartments was a lot of fun. They told me many stories about Mom, and I learned things about her that I did not know, parts of her life that involved friends instead of family.
Apparently Mom did some serious bragging about my giving her a home makeover after I left last year. This week I ended up at one lady's apartment redoing her place. She and I had a terrific time together changing almost everything in there. She turned me loose in there to redo furniture and decor, even organizing her cupboards. The only thing not done was her bedroom and closet. Before I finished she had all of her friends coming over to see it.
I had company here every day and evening. It was so nice to not be alone most of the time. With the weather too rough for me to be out, I enjoyed staying in and just visiting.
I saw Mom's Christmas stocking in a lady's apartment when I was visiting over there. Mom had refilled it with stationary and other items, all beautifully wrapped, and put it in her neighbor's doorway on Christmas Eve. She knew that her neighbor hadn't had presents or a stocking in years. That was Mom, and I'm so proud of and delighted with her.
Now I'm sitting in the living room surrounded by luggage, bags, art, a rocking chair and a huge basket. 8 oil paintings will be going to Oklahoma with me after only being able to part with 3. No one wanted the clown painting, and I threw it out. It frightened my children as well as my sister's. It reminded me of a Stephen King monster, but Mom loved it. Disposing of it will keep other children from having nightmares.
Years ago I made a promise to Mom. When she died I promised to have her cremated, bury her ashes next to my Daughter, and to burn her personal papers unread. This, and clearing her apartment fulfill those promises to her.
Staying in her apartment I tried to put myself in her place, trying to see her last years through her eyes. She spent most of her time in the bedroom with her TV, computer and books. It was rare that the living room was used although she always wanted that part of her homes to be beautiful. I spent 3 days just in her bedroom, sitting on her bed with the TV on, watching some of the shows that she had listed on a piece of paper and then taped next to her bed. One family member that she was unhappy with had his/her photos removed and placed in a drawer.
I know she was ill and unhappy, but I could not get her to move to Oklahoma with me. She wanted to be near her Mother when she was terminally sick. Never mind that Grandma has Alzheimer's (dementia, I was strongly told by my Aunt). Either way, she was a comfort by her nearness.
It's unfair that Grandma has been reminded over and over that Mom is dead. Every time she goes through the shock and horror of her Daughter's death, the pain and sorrow and loss. When she forgets someone will remind her again. It's cruel, she's 90 years old and doesn't need that pain over and over. Why not just say that Mom is in Oklahoma with me? It's true and much less painful.
As nice as people are and as lovely as this town is, I'm ready to go home. I just received a text from Darling Husband that they are leaving OKC. In 13 hours they will be here, load the car and take me home.
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