The local hotel gave us the bereavement rate on Friday night. Kind of them, but also more than twice the price of the much, much nicer hotel 10 miles away that I stayed in last year.
On Saturday I began going through her things, separating items for charity, some items for my sister who remains in Nevada with her young children, and some for the trash.
It's hard to look at her home and not find her physically here. Her personality, however, is everywhere. Beautiful oil paintings that she collected over the decades hang in every room. I'm not finding the ones that she painted, perhaps they are at my sister's home. I will only bring a couple back to Oklahoma with me.
There are two beautiful dolls that were in her closet, boxes never opened. I wonder who she bought them for.
A year and a half ago I travelled here and stayed several days. While visiting with Mom I gave her a complete home makeover. New furniture, draperies, decor, everything for the kitchen was replaced. Our time spent together is something I treasure, talking face to face, lots of hugs and kisses. We had a terrific time together. We went to a bookstore and got everything she wanted. Along with her collection and the dozens I've sent her since then, it was good to have bought her more bookcases while I was here.
This afternoon I went through her craft items. She put the yarn to good use, beautiful items that she had crocheted and knitted were wrapped and ready to mail, others finished, a couple in progress. Those I'll bring home and complete. The finished pieces I will send to my sister. Her new sewing machine is unused. She had it along with fabrics, patterns and sewing notions, waiting for nice weather. Her plan was to crochet and knit in front of movies in the winter and to sew in the summers. Her living room window looked out on a beautiful private garden and she said it would be the perfect place to sew.
It hurts to see the things that she didn't get to finish. She was reading "the lipstick jungle" by the author of "sex in the city". The crocheting project that was in progress, the clean clothes neatly folded but not yet in the drawers. Even the box of turtles that she adored and had only eaten one of. At least she enjoyed the Godiva chocolates that were part of her Christmas present.
Still looking for her Christmas stocking. Every year I filled one for her, and at sometime during the year she would mail the empty one to me so I could refill it. When we were children she never had presents until we were old enough to make and/or purchase them for her. Now I have fun making her stockings every year and sending them to her.
A lot of items are missing. The one piece of jewelry I found is a new brooch I gave her for Christmas. The jewelry box is gone as well. She died of cancer, but the only medications in the apartment are multivitamins. I know for a fact that Just one of her medicines cost $6400 a month. Her billfold and checkbook are gone as well, the check register was still here. The only DVDs are the ones I sent her. When I was here last year she had a couple dozen.
I know she had a lot of people here daily. Home health care, physical therapist, wound specialist, private nurse, meals on wheels, family and others. She was rarely alone during the day. I wonder who might have decided to supplement their wages with those items, and I hope to see karma in action when it comes back and bites whoever stole from an elderly woman with cancer who was nice to everyone.
None of those things are things I want or need. However, Mom had told me that she wanted her jewelry to go to my sister's daughter. I hope there is some stored in my sister's attic. The person(s) who stole from my Mom also stole from her grandchild. Shameful.
I have to figure out how to work the wifi hotspot that I activated before coming up here.
Ah. Small town Ohio living. Lovely homes, an amazing historic downtown, great place to raise a family, low crime rate, picture perfect environment and terrific schools make for an ideal place to live. I love the sidewalks everywhere. There are very few in Oklahoma City. The friendly people and the charm of this town makes me want to pack up and move here for the rest of my life. I could be happy here.
This apartment is in the old high school that Neil Armstrong (the first man on the moon) attended. It is pretty, decent sized and the only window looks out onto a beautiful garden. The price is extremely low with utilities included. The neighbors are friendly and caring, they watch out for each other and help each other.
The landscaping and gardens are incredible. I saw tulips coming up this morning. A huge community room and many activities are real bonuses and make living here very pleasant.
There are drawbacks, unfortunately real deal breakers. One 4 foot closet is the only storage available, water pressure in the kitchen is a mere trickle (18 minutes to fill the kitchen sink halfway, I timed it), the only window is a single pane where the cold air coming in sets off the windchimes constantly. The apartment above this one contains a stomper, causing Glasses and dishes to rattle constantly in the kitchen cupboards. Did I mention no dishwasher or garbage disposal? The carpet is the cheapest industrial grade available with no pad underneath covering uneven wooden floors. The cold comes up through the uninsulated floors. Shoes and heavy socks are necessary to keep my feet warm.
Paper thin walls ensure every word spoken in the halls which wrap around 3 sides of this apartment, every footstep can be heard. I hear the next door neighbor's TV and every word she says on the phone----there is No getting away from every detail of her health, job details, relationships, etc. Earphones and/or earplugs are necessary to keep my sanity intact. Hopefully, I packed a white noise machine. Watching every word spoken that I say on the phone is rapidly becoming a habit.
The wifi hotspot is useless, one bar on the iPhone when I stand next to the window, 10 or more minutes to load Facebook, email and other portions of the Internet impossible. 10 miles from the city of Lima and technology is dial up at best, truly disappointing. It's a real trade off, technology and privacy versus the beauty of living here. I could not do it.
Transportation is a Black and White taxi called from Lima, Ohio. They charge $30 to drive here to Wapakoneta to pick you up, and then charge for wherever you want to go on top of that. A roundtrip to the grocery store is $60 plus. Impossible for anyone on fixed incomes. A trip to the doctor (local) weekly will be more than $250. a month. Talk about getting reamed, crude and true. That's without tipping the driver.
Perhaps I'm spoiled, but even in rural Oklahoma, 50 miles from the nearest city, I had easy Internet access.
Choosing between small towns and basic technology should not have to happen. This is the 21st century for Pete's sake!
There are so many wonderful things here, and I adore coming up to visit. My next and last trip up here will be when my grandmother passes away. I will miss this town, it has the best of small town living, the nostalgia that gives you that feeling of coming home.
Yesterday was my Mom's 71st birthday. In the morning I walked over a mile to the mortuary to pick up her ashes and bring them back to her home. Her birthday gift I had ordered should have arrived at my Oklahoma City home by now. She no longer needs gifts or presents. My last gift to her will be burial and a headstone in Hominy, Oklahoma next to my daughter.
I want to go home. I have no desire to go through her things, deciding what to bring home and what to dispose of. My heart hurts and I need my Darling Husband to hold me.
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