She was my Mom for 51 years, 51 of her 70 years. She was my Mom and my friend, my confidant, someone who knew me better than I knew myself.
She was also different people to those who knew her. A mother, daughter, sister, grandmother, aunt, cousin, friend, wife, ex-wife, employee and neighbor. No matter which role she was in, she was good. she loved her family and friends, and she was loved. she cared, and was cared about. she travelled and had things she liked and things that were important to her.
Anyone who had a bookstore near her homes over the years knew her as a great customer. She loved to read, and did it daily. The newspaper rarely was in the house for more than a few moments before being devoured. One day years ago she called to tell me that She had read "her" name in the obituary section of the Houston Chronicle. She told me if her name had been really common like Smith or Jones she could probably read an obituary with her name on it weekly somewhere in the world. She had a sense of humor.
She led a full life. she had a real flair for doing things. Over the course of her life She painted beautifully, loved to decorate her home, took great photographs, wrote letters more than most people do, stayed in close touch with friends and family, modeled, played the piano, followed Rush Limbaugh and other talk radio hosts with great interest, crocheted, made great Halloween costumes, could swim without messing up her hair, loved the ocean and the beaches. Watched the waves roll in to relax, made a great strawberry banana salad that got raves everywhere it was served, loved autumn more than any other season, wrapped every present so that was postcard worthy, could argue with great passion over things she believed in, donated to the United Negro College Fund because she believed that everyone deserved opportunity, loved PBS even though she disliked the quarterly "begging for dollars" that interrupted their best specials, but she sent them money too. She loved to garden, raising plants showed me that the green thumb gene apparently is hers and skipped me. Old movies were special to her, but "somewhere in time" was her favorite, she adored fried green tomatoes, the book by fanny flag, the movie, and the ones she made in the iron skillet that turned out perfect every time. She loved antiquing, getting true treasures to appear from the rough and unpolished. finding the unusual to decorate with. She would only buy the ugliest Christmas tree because she felt sorry for it and just knew that no one would love it.
Growing up I learned to be a good cook and housekeeper because of her influence on me, something that I truly appreciate and use to this day. I'm also an avid reader partly due to her and her bookcases that were always full.
Mom did not want a funeral, she thought they were morbid and said there was nothing worse than folks wailing over a corpse. She wanted a wake. Lots of laughter and stories told, songs that she loved, the people there remembering the good things about her. It's her party, she's the guest of honor, she would love seeing everyone.
I wish that she could have been happier, could have enjoyed her life more. She rarely did after her daddy died, and then after Dustyn Nicole died she really wasn't happy often at all. She never got over those losses. They just took too much out of her.
Her last couple of decades were pain filled, her health was poor and that limited her in many ways. There weren't many times when she felt well at all. The last few years were the hardest, dealing with cancer as well as copd.
I wanted so much for her, to have a wonderful life, to have all of her hopes and dreams come true. To have the fun retirement that is the reward following a life of hard work, to do the things that she wanted to do,to travel, to just have fun.
She could have led a different life, made other choices and had other outcomes. She chose the life she lived, she did what she wanted to do, something not many people do. Some things were wonderful choices and some not quite the outcome anticipated. The thing is though, that she lived every moment of her almost 71 years her way. It was her life, the Only one she had.
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