Cold and lonely

12 degrees outside. My peek at the outdoors while letting Demeter outside shows some light snow. Dreading the thought of getting out in order to drag the trash can to the curb. I did step out to toss ice melt on the steps and sidewalks.

Two rooms closed off, blankets over exterior and unused doors, three stove burners on, clothes dryer on and vented indoors, one space heater. All of that, plus the furnace running full blast gets the indoor temp up to almost seventy degrees.

I'm bundled up, including a pair of socks that make my feet look as though they're in a pair of clown shoes. Still cold. Not looking forward to the first heating bill in the mail. I'm betting it will be a monster.

Then again, I'm a hedonist, pure and simple. Being warm makes me happy and content. So, if it takes a big heating bill to keep me happy, so be it.

Actually, could only get the house above seventy for a brief time. It's been hovering around sixty four to sixty eight degrees in here. I'm grateful it's this warm indoors.

Playing movies my brother-in-law brought me this week. So far, I've watched Pometheus, Up, Dredd, Oz The Great And Powerful, Escape From Planet Earth, and now have  Spider-Man in. He brought a huge variety. I put in Chicago last night, just to hear the show tunes. Too much worshipping the square god, as my sister-in-law refers to watching television. 

Sleeting hard today. One of my relatives stopped by with a space heater. Now, I don't need to rely on stove burners to keep pipes from bursting.

Things I did not have to worry about when I lived with a husband. Being warm was one. It's lonely here, in a way that I never thought I never would be. Demeter is here. She's been my companion for six years. Cannot imagine life without her.

 I miss my husband. I miss our cat, Layla, too. I miss hearing her lick my husband's chin at night as he slept. I miss hearing his voice, his companionship. Knowing he's in the next room at his desk when he's home. I miss having someone close by. 

It's quiet here. I play music to block the lack of noise. After years of parkway sounds,  hearing sirens and air traffic, it's quiet. During the day, there are birds singing. At night, I know I'm in quiet place. An occasional auto is all which can be heard through the walls.