Let the side effects begin (again)

A week on methotrexate, the second dose will be taken tomorrow.  4 Days of sleeping up to 18 hours, being sore from sleeping in one position too long. No appetite, and an upset stomach. I'm forcing myself to eat. I've lost 4 pounds this week. Hard to get up to 1000 calories. Living on fruit, low sodium peanut butter, either a BLT or part of a club sandwich daily. Retaining fluids, so I'm continuously sipping water and coffee to try to stay on top of that. Tonight I'm sipping water with a squirt of lemon juice, it helps some. Yesterday and today I felt pretty good but Really fuzzy/foggy/somewhat out of it. Remember the 70's? Nah, me either......

So, I actually see the lack of appetite as a wonderful thing. I've been on a weight loss plateau, battling various medications which cause weight gain for over 2 years, including one that packed on 30 pounds in just a few months. Tracking every bite which goes into my mouth, 900-1100 calories 5 days a week. The other 2 days I'd let myself have up to 2000 calories. Making myself exercise no matter how I felt to stay healthy and try not to pack on more pounds. Very discouraging, knowing without the medications I'd be sicker but I'd also weigh what I was supposed to.

Had another O&M (white cane) lesson today. Today I learned to walk on and cross streets, small neighborhood ones. It felt really nice to walk without being bent over to try and make out things like potholes and curbs. There are few sidewalks in the city, the area is just hilly enough to not be able to walk in yards. So, as sight declines more I'll be limited to taking walks in our little dozen house neighborhood. 50th Street is just too dangerous to cross, especially with it being a major thoroughfare and having a Parkway next to it.  So, it's catching a ride with friends and relatives, taking a cab, or riding the city bus that I have to book 2 weeks in advance. Why can't cities require sidewalks when neighborhoods are built? Seriously, OKC is built for automobile traffic. If you want to go walking, you have to drive to places to do it.

When I ride the Etrike I pretty much take my life into my hands. Either crossing 50th street or riding along it almost 2 blocks in order to get to quiet neighborhood streets. It makes me so nervous to just do that little bit. At this time I can still make out shapes, movement and some colors. I want to get out, to go places on my own. With the quiet streets I feel safe, and can get my exercise.

I'm not allowing this disease to make me into a shutin. I have too many plans for my life, and they do not include reducing my world to my house and yard.