Beginning the thoughts

This is my first blog post ever. There is much going on in my life right now. I'm not really writing for anyone but myself, making sense of changes that are occurring rapidly.
Today I visited more eye specialists, this time in Dallas. I'm afraid to be hopeful anymore, every time another eye disease is ruled out and I'm left with fewer options for a treatment and/or a cure. My vision is rapidly disappearing, there is not much left. Driving has ceased to be an option, as a result my world is shrinking. There is a new white cane in the corner mocking me, letting me know that soon I won't be leaving my home without it as a constant companion. I spend my time marking appliances with raised bumps on the controls so I can keep using them, learning to cook and clean with what sight is left, putting together coordinating outfits and organizing cupboards and groceries. I study photos of family and friends, not wanting to forget their faces. I watch favorite movies and tv shows on video, especially shows like Ally McBeal that are heavy on visual humor. I'm downloading classes that interest me and making lists of others that I want to take. Soon, I'll be adding Braille to that list, probably should get to it sooner than later. I'm purging cupboards and closets of decades worth of accumulation, in order to make housekeeping simple. I even plan to downsize the Christmas decor after collecting ornaments all of my life. There is much that I want to see and do while I still can. A year ago my Husband took me to Disneyland, a place that's been on the top of my wish list my entire life. It was everything I dreamed of and imagined.  I mourn the sight that is gone, and appreciate the little that is left. I look for ways to keep doing the things that I enjoy doing, to do what I want with few restrictions, to adapt to a new way of life. I wonder what my grandchildren will look like as they grow up, as of now they are still toddlers. I need a friend to shop with who knows my taste in clothing, hair and makeup. One who won't point me in the direction of her taste, but will help me with the things that I know look great on me.  I want to look pleasing, not just for myself, but also for my husband. I want for him to be proud of me. I want to do things for myself, I need to be able to. I don't want help with things unless I get to a place where I have to ask for it. There is a sense of pride in being able to do for myself, a sense of accomplishment in being able to do things on my own and tend to my home. I burned myself on the oven a couple of nights ago, I kept going and finished dinner.  I'm learning...............