New news, getting blood work to test for auto immune retinopathy. Maybe an answer will be forthcoming after almost 2 years. Just an answer as to why I'm going blind would be a relief. I feel bad for my Husband, we had only been married for 4 months when my sight started disappearing. We sure didn't plan for that in our happily ever after.
Trying to get used to the word blind, I know that I am, but it's one of those terms that I just can't wrap my head around as applying to me. Sight has deteriorated to the finger counting stage. I use a magnifying glass in order to type on the iPad. I need to set up my computer so I can use it more easily. Web pages are set to come up at 400%, and it's still tough to read.
This evening we wen't to a friend's home and swam in his pool for a couple of hours. So nice to relax in the water, feeling weightless for awhile, no pressure on my joints as I float. Lovely time. Tomorrow promises to be busy. My Husband has to work part of the day and then plays racquetball with his brother. I'll get housework done while that is going on. Afterwards we'll go see my mother-in-law, hit the library for a quick drop off and pick up, and then do the grocery shopping. I hope that we will then be done with our running for the weekend. I'd love a day to just relax with my husband with nothing that we have to go or do.
Next week I'd like to start watching all of the Walt Disney movies in my collection. Not knowing how much longer I'll be able to see anything, I'll start with my very favorites. Snow White and Cinderella are on the top of my list. There are other movies I'd like to see again, the list is growing and they will all be stacked in a basket waiting to be seen. Perhaps one every day or two for as long as I can.
I have more family photos waiting to be framed and added to the bookcase that takes up an entire wall in the living room. We have so much family between us, 9 generations worth of pictures going from the 1860's to just weeks ago. Not enough space for everyone, but pretty close. It really bugs me to think that I won't see them for much longer, all of the pictures are a blur to my eyes and I try to fix every loved one in my memories. Somedays I mourn my lack of sight much more than others. Just blurry little circles of sight left, for the most part I can accept it, but at other times I get so angry and down, not understanding why it's happened to me. Short term pity parties as each new bit is lost. When I find things I can do I get excited and feel a real sense of accomplishment. Seems as though life is a real roller coaster of emotions and feelings, never steady anymore.the loss of independence is truly difficult. Giving up driving broke my heart, I became no longer free to just come and go as I pleased. Depending on others, even ones who love and want to help me is hard. Pride is something I've always had plenty of, and it's hard to ask for help. Something else new to learn.......
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