Wow! I discovered this evening that my night vision has completely disappeared. Walking into my bedroom I can usually make out the white sheets and pillows from the light filtering through the hallway. Tonight there was nothing. I could make out the huge red blob that is my husband's clock. Everything else was pitch black and remained that way. Time to call my eye specialist tomorrow and let him know. Also, I need to keep a flashlight by the bed. I'm so not ready for this, not yet, not darkness.
Worked on paperwork most of the day, then ended up napping for an hour or so. Still feeling sluggish and plan to hit the bed shortly.
The weekend begins in a few hours, and I think that after the past couple of weeks that we are both ready for a break. Don't know what we'll do yet, after my Husband gets off of work Saturday afternoon we are free until Tuesday morning. Maybe go out of town for something neither doctor or funeral related. Our last vacation was a year ago, too long without a real break.
This month has a blue moon, and I'll miss seeing it. Not being able to see the moon and stars has really bothered me. Something I always enjoyed and took for granted. Now I can see them on the Internet. Pictures from the Hubble telescope fascinate me, just the vastness and the beauty of our universe amazes me. The pictures coming back from Mars have caught my interest too. I love the idea that someday humans may be living there as well as on the moon. I hope that it happens in my lifetime. Just to know that all of our genes are no longer kept in one basket, and that the human race will spread out to the stars is wonderful and exciting to me. Just as explorers travelled to the new world centuries ago, now mankind can once again seek new places to colonize.
I ordered movies from the library, Ma and Pa Kettles, Gigi, and some comedies. I'm not wasting what is left of my sight on depressing things. Anything I watch has to entertain me and/or show me new and fascinating places that I've not yet seen. Travel videos are next after these. That way when we go places I'll have them fixed in my memories.
I'm done watching politics and the news, I only want to see good things for now. Maybe I'm wrong for that, and I can live with it. Too many horrific things are shown. The sights and sounds of people jumping from the world trade centers on September 11, 2001 will never leave me. I still see and hear that in my dreams.
I just want to see beauty now for as long as I can. I want my last bits of sight to include the faces of my loved ones, of flowers, of art and architecture. Those are what will get me through the darkness, the memories of colors and shapes. The memory of the blond curls and blue eyes of my granddaughter. I'll still see that in my head when she is grown.
Enough for now, I'm tired. Just received a postcard from my pillows saying "Wish you were here."
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