New Year's Eve

Last day of 2013 is moments away as I write this. I'm ready for it to pass. 2014 needs to, and must be, better.

A lot of the year has been extraordinary bad. Losing both parents just weeks apart. Taking the drugs that the doctors wanted to try, with side effects making life a nightmare, kept me down for a long time. Coping with another woman in my house, that I had no choice about, has nearly shoved me out the door. Vision deteriorating even more has made my world extremely small. 

I'm not happy, but I'm working on it. I find joy where I can. I look for ways to be at peace. I put up with a lot of bad things, and in return, I get a home, provided for, and flowers every other week. I get a place to live safely as a low vision/blind person. Sounds pretty sad, even to me.

Please, please, please let 2014 be a good year.

Christmas Eve

Waiting for a head count for Christmas. With youngest working evening/night shift, it's not easy to make connections. Solution? Message through Facebook and wait. And wait, and wait. Eventually, he gets off work, sleeps, and checks messages.

Laundry is caught up, the house is clean. Presents are wrapped and under the tree. Now, for the wait for Christmas.

I'm watching/listening to the 49ers and the Braves play at Candlestick Park. Two minutes left, and San Francisco just pulled off a great touchdown, sending the score beyond Atlanta's reach. Great game, I love listening to football.

Soon, I will finish a bowl of chocolate ice cream, and head down the hall to bed. 

I'm ready to wrap up this year and start fresh in 2014. It's been a rough year, too much loss and pain and change. '14 has to be better, if only a little.

I'm ready for my eyes to stabilize, to stop the constant deterioration of vision that occurs as I adjust to each loss. I'd love to keep at least a little sight, to not end up in total darkness. I'm tired, of trying to focus when my eyes can no longer do so. Tired of fighting wrinkles from squinting, when doing so does not work. Tired of seeing things in perfect detail in my dreams and awakening to low vision or total blindness, depending on the light level around me. Tired of not finding things, of getting burned in the kitchen, of bumping into things, of wearing bruises, of not seeing the faces of my loved ones. Tired of losing more and more of my independence as levels of sight decrease.

I want a cure. I want it now.

Christmas Eve Eve

Haven't moved. I spent a week with some close friends. Nothing major, just being with people I've known and loved for decades, ones who love me and help me put things in perspective. They listen without judging, offer open arms and hearts, and give me a safe place to be.

Last weekend, I made friends with a couple of women who also have low vision/blindness.  It's interesting to get to know people who are going through a lot of the same issues that I am. Makes me feel less alone.

The tree is up and decorated. When the lights are on all I see is a huge, black shape covered with giant balls of white light. Within a couple of feet I can make out some of the colors. I remember where I put each ornament, and can picture each in my mind. Beautiful.

Ready for Christmas, with the exception of a package that ups allowed to languish at their facility for 5 days before sending it to the US mail to deliver. Who knows if/when it will arrive? The latest update states 2 business days from now. Guess what? I ordered early in order to get it before Christmas 2013, not 2014. So, needless to say, I am unhappy with ups. Big thing that gets me, is that it is Hubby's gift. 

The turkey is nearly thawed. There is a Black Forest ham in the fridge. The buffet is loaded with snacks to nibble on.

The dinner menu consists of....

Turkey with Gravy
Ham
Wild Rice
Sweet Potatoes
Sliced Tomatoes
French Cut Green Beans
LeSoeur's Baby Peas
Mashed Potatoes 
Croissants with Butter
Key Lime Pie
Cheesecakes


For snacking....
Shrimp Cocktail
Assorted Cheeses and Crackers
Cookies
Brandy Rum Balls
Pub Mix
Candies
Apples
Pears
Oranges
Grapefruits
Pomegranates

Beverages....
Milk
Coffee
Teas
Apple Cider
Pink Lemonade

There will likely be other things added to the lists as I think of them.

We expect my youngest on Christmas Day, possibly his roommates. My youngest stepson is here from San Francisco, he's staying at his Mom's a block away, so he 'll probably be here part of the day. My oldest stepson and his family should be in town, so we may see them as well. The Ex will be here part of the time, I'm sure. 

My adopted Dad called this morning. We talked for the longest time. I also received a long letter from one of my StepMothers. She told me of Dad's last days, and of his love for me. I cried, and still tear up thinking of it.

Enough for now.....

Life changing processes....

As a rule, I have an amazing life. Currently, though, I'm in the middle of a true rough patch. There is a lot going on, and I am not the picture of a happy person.

It's rare that I am unhappy. I truly dislike being in this state of being. Missing my normal happy self is an understatement, I miss Me.

Printed several large copies of the floor plan and will use them over the next few days to  set up housekeeping. As much as I enjoy decorating a home, I thought that I was done. This home is complete, not including the guest apartment. It's doubtful that I will ever set foot inside there again.

The Christmas tree arrived this morning. The box is over six feet long and about two feet on the sides. I'm looking forward to seeing what it looks like. Hopefully, it will be easy to set up.

Today I cleaned and spent a lot of time in thought, and then worked on several small touch ups which needed to be done. This house has been completely remodeled during the past three years. It's beautiful, a joy to do, but a relief to finish.

There is so much I'm working on right now. Braille lessons, home-keeping, crafting items for Christmas, online courses, daily exercise, pet and plant care, staying in touch with family and friends. I keep busy, and I like things that way. The thing is, that I want the busy things to be of my choosing.

The list of things I need to accomplish while there is still a little sight left is long. Getting ready to move and start a new life is disturbing my plans.  Moving is one of my very least favorite things.

It will eat into the majority of my time for the next several weeks. Just finding things here in the house is difficult. Now, I have to hunt through everything to locate what I want to take with me to the new apartment. Then, it all has to be sorted, packed, moved, unpacked, put away with every location marked. That, in my mind, is a nightmare. It will be a huge adjustment trying to find my way around in a strange place, indoors as well as in a new neighborhood. 

There is no place for Demeter to go outside and play. She will have to be on a leash every time she goes outside. Instead of a pet door that she has free access to, I have to take her out. Be fully dressed and out multiple times during the day and night. What a nightmare for her. She is rarely leashed, and will have to get used to it. 

I'm trying to figure a way to keep her from barking every time she hears noises outside. There are a couple of white noise machines here. Crossing my fingers that they will work. Problem is that one of her duties is to let me know when someone is nearby. Now, I have to train her not to.

I'm tired. Enough for now....

Pissed Off Royally

I have a new apartment. It will be ready to move into on December 6th. I don't want to move. I especially do not want to move during the holidays, a full couple of weeks after I do my Christmas decorating. I do not want to leave my home.

I'm making lists this week. Things to take, things I will need, things I want to do and accomplish in a new home. I'm writing out a new LifePlan, a new ExercisePlan, lists of new goals and ideas. My todo list is incredibly long.

I've spent hours going through Pinterest as well as my photos,  figuring out how to decorate a new environment.

Lucky me. Put the blind chick in an apartment poolside. I won't be able to see the people there. Guess I won't get lost finding it when I want to swim.

The grocery store is a mile and a half walk. I only have to cross one six-lane street, one four-lane street and a dozen or so two lane streets to get there. Shouldn't be too bad. I will need a cart to schlep my purchases. No sidewalks, so I will have to walk in the streets.

The nearest department store is five miles. Guess I will either taxi or order from amazon.com. Can't figure out any other way to shop.

Need to arrange for wifi.

Need a letter from my doctor saying that I'm disabled and need an assistance/guide/whateverthehellyoucallit dog. Otherwise, Demeter cannot go with me. She's seventeen pounds over the apartment weight limit. However, you can have two forty pound dogs. Why not one 57.5 pound dog? Stupid crap.

I told Hubby that I need a bed. The first option I was offered was the Exe's bed. Needless to say, I declined, and not politely. Then, I was offered our new bed, or having a new one purchased for me.

I'm tired, not sleeping, lots of tears. Seeing the marriage counselor. Will it help?

I'm told by the marriage counselor not to see my regular shrink while this is going on. Not fair, that's one person I need to talk to. Because the Ex goes to see him too. Why can't she get a different one? I was going there for a year before she started. 

Oh yes, the remodel is in full swing. How many choices did I get? None. The upper cabinets are mounted so high that I can reach a few inches into the bottom shelves. Everything else is completely out of reach. I'm tall, but the Hubby and the Ex tower over me, so it's where they can use them. I didn't get to choose the cabinets, counters, sink, faucet, etc. Doubt I will be asked about the backsplash, lighting, carpet or new doors.

For any guys out there who are thinking about dumping their wife. The easiest way to do it is to move in another woman. Give the new woman free reign to remodel the house. Take the new woman out places with you. Don't ask the wife. Pay all of the new woman's bills. Have the wife cook for the new woman. Tell the new woman all of the details about your relationship with your wife. Spend hours every day with the new woman. Don't touch the wife. Make fun of the wife. Make the wife get rid of her things to make room for the new woman's things. Kick the wife out, but make it look mutual. Go to counseling, but be sure to say that it won't work. 

Oh, have the new woman decide what she would like for dinner out of the wife's fridge. Tell the wife what time she would like to be served. Oh, and have the wife give favorite recipes to the new woman.

Just asked about ordering the new Christmas tree. Was told to go ahead, that I would take it with me. So I did. Just bought the most expensive tree I've ever seen. Don't care what it looks like, I went for the price. By god, I will enjoy it for the rest of my life.

Pissed? Think about it. Yeah, I'm pissed off.

Life isn't Pretty at all

The living room and front room windows are crammed full of plants. Over the next few days I will have to find places for them as well as the seven that are still outside. 

I can't use the guest apartment for any of them this year. Too bad, they thrive in that space each winter.

Speaking of the guest apartment. I took measurements of the kitchen area yesterday. Marked outlets, pipes and gas line locations. I got to go and look in Lowe's at the new cabinets, countertops, sink, faucet, backsplashes, flooring and fridge. Hubby took the Ex to show her yesterday and get her ideas. Her approval.

It will be a big job. Wondering if any of the choices will actually be mine. I was told that it's my home and that I could choose. 

So far, we're doing the apartment bathroom. I was told I had the choices. Well, I got to choose the sink. Only because I ordered two online that would fit. One actually did. Hubby and His Ex chose the toilet, tile colors, medicine cabinet and light.

I would like to decide what remodeling is done while I can still make out what it looks like. 

It seems that Hubby's Ex will be here permanently. She has settled in completely. It's her home now. She rarely works, I'm not sure what she does all day. I don't care. Now, she is choosing new furniture. The apartment, garage and storage unit are full of her furniture and possessions now. It is my understanding that we are buying the new furniture for her.

I'd rather have some of our (nice) older furniture cleaned and use it for the apartment. Then, we could get new for us. Now, I guess we live with old furniture and she gets new.

There's a lot of disappointment right now. When I say anything, I'm told that I'm being selfish and have jealousy issues. Makes me wonder....

So, as I'm making remodel plans that most likely will not occur, I'm also doing things for me. I'm weeding through my items, getting rid of personal items I no longer have any use for. I'm keeping track of the few things that are just mine. 

What I have are a few antiques, family photos, a laptop, iPad, camera, linens, kitchen things, Christmas decor, knickknacks, a few dozen books, some dvd's and cd's, record player and albums, plants. My dog. Clothing and some craft items. Patio furniture, a couple of lamps. An an etrike, my daughter's bicycle. Toolbox. Some artwork. A couple of lamps. Not much. 

My furniture is gone except for a few antiques. There is no room for any of it here. Moving it from the apartment to the garage, then getting rid of it when the garage was also taken over was horrible. My 1890 gas stove leaving hurt a lot! I used and needed it. The few pieces I have left are being ruined by the weather on the patio. 

It felt as if my wants are being ignored, that what I want doesn't matter. It feels that way more each day.

I wonder if the marriage will last through this. My options are few at this point. This week I will see the marriage counselor for the fifth time. We still have not seen her together. He finally went recently to see her for the first time. I'm told it is my problem.

I adore Hubby's Ex. She is a wonderful lady, and we get along great. But she is His friend, His Ex, not my friend and that's been made obvious. Perhaps I'm jealous that we are supporting her, that she and Hubby go places together frequently. That they spend a lot of time together every day. That I feel unwelcome in what is supposed to be my home. Or only feel welcome in a part of my home. I no longer use the patios because they adjoin the guest apartment. I don't feel comfortable doing so. I clean them after she leaves.

I wonder if I will be living here in this house much longer, or if I will be apartment hunting shortly. I just do not know.

If I move, do I want to stay in Okc? I need a warm climate. Sidewalks and a neighborhood I can walk in would be nice. Nearby stores would be great.

For now, I keep taking online classes, working on organizing things so I can easily find them. Working on cooking and cleaning without sight. Hunting for hobbies that I can perhaps use to support myself, if need be. Studying Braille is vital as is practicing with the white cane. Those things will give me freedom to live a decent life.

My future is uncertain. I no longer feel secure in my home or in my marriage.

Shopping and Customer Service

Finally went grocery shopping. It's becoming more and more frustrating. Packaging and frequent location of stock changes is making it hard to locate items. Add in rude cashiers, poor stocking practices, and products not well maintained and I dread walking into the grocery store. I don't believe I'll return to the major chain store I use again. Never mind that I spend at least $500 every trip, and have shopped there for over three years. The quality of the workers there has gone so far down that it is absurd. It's not worth it. 

I'm to the point where I will find a small grocery store and pay more money in order to have a pleasant shopping experience. For everything else, I will shop at amazon or other small department stores.

Here is a rule of thumb. The better the economy, the worse the low wage employees. Ignore the news. A good economy means that good, hardworking people have decent paying jobs. It also means that low paying positions are held by anyone the employer can get. 

With a bad economy, you get to pick and choose people with great attitudes, intelligence and a terrific work ethic. With a good economy, the great employees move on to good jobs.

No offense to people who are starting out or those that choose the low paying jobs. I'm not including them in this equation.

I was an employer for years and dealt with those issues daily. At times I filled extra shifts due to not having decent people even applying.

There's a saying I was taught long ago, and I am paraphrasing here. "You can hire anyone to fill a job, but you can't make them into a good employee that deals well with customers and coworkers. What you want is to hire kind, friendly, well mannered people and to train them to be great workers."

It's so true. I will look for stores which have great employees who work hard and take pride in themselves and in their jobs. Those businesses will get my money from now on.

Enough for now.....

Changes

Late at night and I somehow cannot get sleepy enough to go and hug my pillow. Today, I kept busy. Apparently not busy enough to be worn out.

The house is cleaned. I'm weeding through more items. There is another stack of books to rehome, they will join three stacks already in the garage. A couple of trash bags hold even more items.

I finally shredded all of Mom's personal papers. It was hard. I had promised her that I would destroy them unread. That part was easy. The hard part was letting go of another part of her. Now, there are bags full of shredded things waiting for the next trash day.

The front room is being reorganized to accommodate several huge potted plants coming indoors for the winter. The living room has a few brought in so far.

I'm trying to memorize the changes as I make them. One thing I forgot the other night now has my legs covered front and back with huge bruises. Not being able to see at all in low light is a pain in the butt. Falling over furniture is a great incentive to pay attention.

Went to Texas Longhorn Steakhouse last night to celebrate a relative's 80th birthday. They did not have a large print menu, and my magnifying glasses and iPad apps could not magnify their regular menu due to the print and the restaurant lighting. I ended up having the menu read to me. It was embarrassing. Feeling like crap due to not being able to read on my own.

Not seeing drives me nuts. Over the past couple of weeks I went from reading huge print with 3x reading glasses to needing 6x ones. I read from less than eight inches from my face. With that, I'm still only good for a few minutes.

Sight lessens almost daily. I'm adjusting to changes rapidly, and more come at a speedy pace. I get that it's all happening so much faster than I had expected. How bad is it going get? The specialist said I may keep light and dark, shapes and shadows, some colors. No idea how quickly it will progress. She just doesn't know.

Enough for now.....

Back to life as we know it....

Today is the first day after vacation. We had an amazing time during the nine days off. Mainly, we were together. That is the very best part.

We began with a trip to San Francisco. Flying out on Friday afternoon, we arrived by early afternoon. We stayed in a luxurious hotel with all of the bells and whistles. We were on the wrong side and did not have the view of the bay, other than that, it was perfect.

We ate a couple of fast food breakfasts while we were there. Other than that, we dined, and dined very well. Thanks to a relative there in the city, we found a lot of fabulous little restaurants and our meals were 4 star. Oola's and Dottie's were my favorites. At Oola's the creme brûlée was topped with orange, ginger and honey according to my taste buds. At Dottie's the fruit bowl was huge and filled with the freshest strawberries, blueberries, watermelon and cantaloupe. Amazing meals.

We rented a fusion and traveled all over the city. We did all of the touristy things, riding the trolley, going down Lombard Street, checking out the painted ladies, etc. We took over 1200 photos, and I've seen a few so far on the big tv. Looking forward to seeing the rest. I want to know how well they match up with my perception of the colors and shapes.

I did some shopping in Haight Ashbury, found a lovely sheath dress in a  vintage store. A few stores down the street I found a Hobe choker, all turquoise and amethyst. A few touristy souvenirs for a vacation shadow box filled out my shopping excursion. 

It's a city I could easily live in. With bike lanes and sidewalks everywhere, I would have so much more independence than I do now. OKC is beautiful, but without sidewalks, it is too dangerous to try to walk around when you are blind, or nearly so.

Today I cleaned house all morning, and spent a good portion of the afternoon with a tiny little girl. I love when she comes to visit. We giggle and play and eat a lot of 'nilla wafers and bananas. She loved the aquarium DVD that I put in, and she danced to Josh Groban songs. Her mamma was on one of the cruise ships delayed by Karen, that tropical storm in the Gulf of Mexico.

 I feel for the little one. She had only been away from her mamma for an occasional overnight. Now, she hasn't seen her for over a week. She stayed with a great grandma and now is with another grandma. I could tell it's been really hard on her. Instead of the usual 30 seconds of fussing when her mamma brings her to me, she screamed in fear at being left by yet another person. It took her a good ten minutes to finally calm down. She doesn't talk yet, so she cannot say she wants her mamma. Over two years old and makes sounds, but no words. 

Tomorrow, life will return to normal. Projects in progress, paperwork to locate for my insurance company. There are gardens to water and dog poop to pick up. I'm thinking of baking a loaf or two of French bread (yes, from scratch) and making some pasta sauce and rotini for dinner.

Enough for now......

Travel, etc.

Hard to deal with bright lights indoors. Bad since we no longer keep the lights as bright as we did a year or more ago. Even worse is trying to make things out when I'm outdoors. Sunlight reflecting off of cars is a true monster. It fills every bit of my sight and nothing else can be seen. Kept the dark shades and a huge hat on the entire time that we were outside.

Today we wandered around San Francisco. Did a lot of walking and just fell in love with the city. The buildings with many paint colors were easiest to make out. Took a lot of photos with the iPhone. When I get home and load them onto the laptop I will be able to see them on the big tv. 

We went to a park across from mission high school, travelled up to twin peaks. Saw a lot of people without clothes. The temperatures were perfect for going without anything on. Spent a lot of time in the SOMA
Neighborhood. We ate some terrific Mexican Food. Went over the Bay Bridge, looped around and returned to the city via the Golden Gate Bridge.

I got to see my stepson's dance studio on Howard Street. Neat, neat place. Their living quarters have a huge clothes closet that I literally drooled over. They've been there a couple of years now, and I can easily tell the hard work and dedication that he and his fiancé have put into the place.

We're back at our hotel, listening to Arkansas play the Aggies. Our room is lovely. Beautiful furniture, every luxury, a bed that is to die for. I will be buying a down comforter like the one here when we return home. Possibly similar bathrobes as well. Not just for us, but for the guest apartment as well.

I bought a piece of art this afternoon. It's of Bela Lugosi, done in acrylics on wood. Not sure why, but it appeals to me in a weird way. Anyway, it will look strange anywhere I end up hanging it, and that almost convinced me to not purchase it. Still, I really like it and now it's mine. I will make a place for it.

So, the guest apartment remodel has begun. The bathroom has a new toilet. Two new bathroom sinks have been ordered, they should arrive within a day or two of our return home. We will keep the one which works best in that space and return the other. Next is lighting, mirrors, storage and redoing the shower. Once that is finished I will pick out everything for the new kitchen. The entire layout will change. I would love to replace the sliding glass doors with French doors.

Enough for now......

Weekend things

Saturday...

Watching "The Breakfast Club" and updating ITunes on the laptop tonight. Once iTunes is done I can finally finish loading things onto the new iPad. One thing at a time to get what I want.

Sunday....

Did some power shopping today. Target left my billfold a lot lighter, fair exchange, I left with almost everything on my list and a few other treasures.

I've never worn spanxs before. Should have bought them the instant they first came out got sale. With those and a couple of beautiful new dresses I have the body of a goddess. Perfect with my hair regrowing quickly. I felt gorgeous wearing them, and will again soon.

Lots of things on the project list are getting done. Wrought iron dining chairs are now painted white and the seats are now covered in a charming blue toile. Kitchen and dining floors are now covered with dark blue carpet. I'm much safer in a carpeted kitchen where I won't slip if I have a spill while cooking and cleaning.

The kitchen is dark cherry woodwork. It has cheerful yellow walls, counters and backsplash. I have a big cupboard devoted to appliances so the counters are very useful. Antique and crystal containers keep them lovely.

We have a photo of us on the counter by the stove. It was taken at the third oldest MacDonald's, and the oldest one still operating. We were in LA and took a wrong turn. What a neat place to find, it was such a happy surprise.

Enough for now....

Things and Upcoming Plans

Finally, my new stove was hooked up tonight. I immediately brewed some tea, grateful to be able to turn the burners on and off without reaching across hot pans and burners. No more steam burns for me!

I'm drinking spearmint tea this evening, relaxing in the living room. So nice to just enjoy myself, listening to the football game. 

Today I finished cleaning and organizing the front room closet. Now it just contains linens, Christmas items, and a ton of family pictures. Oh, and the last box of Mom's paperwork. Sure feels great to have that chore done. 

Also, I tackled the entry closet. We keep our luggage in there, and it was chaotic. Now it's all nice and neat with all of the smaller bags stored in larger ones. Things like the white noise machine, travel iron and small blow dryers have their own places as well.

Purses and swimwear have been gone through. Any that won't be used until next summer have been packed away.

It feels so good to get things done. The only fall housecleaning things left to do are window washing. That is such a wonderful thing. Knowing all I have to do is basic cleaning until thanksgiving.

Friday...

Cooking is once again a wonderful thing. I love, love, love my new stove! Angel food cake turned out perfectly. Cornbread and a pot of ham and beans was so easy. Today I will tackle making loaves of bread.

Went through more cupboards and drawers yesterday. Got rid of seven garbage bags full of things. Scrap booking materials are set up on a table in a quiet corner so I don't have to keep moving them for mealtimes.

Yesterday I got out for a ride. Spent some time under an awning at my favorite brick and mortar bookstore that closed without warning while the rain poured down. Made it home safely between storms and was comfortable indoors before the thunder and lightening really hit hard. Still, I had a nice time. Went to Michael's craft store as well as a trip to Walgreen's. Was hoping to get to Target as well, but the weather said not this time. It is supposed to rain again today, so my plans are to tackle more cupboards and listen to thunder rumbling.

I'm getting things together for an upcoming trip. Figuring out whether I want to mix and match outfits in one or two colors families, or wear vintage linen dresses, or a combination of the two. Trying to keep it down to one carry on bag as well as a laptop bag is not always easy. Although it sure is easier than standing around the luggage carousel at an airport.

This will be the first vacation that we've taken other than the weekend trip to Black Mesa in over two years. That place was pure heaven. The HootOwl Ranch had food and accommodations far beyond what is shown on their website. Pure bliss, but a longer stay would have been even better.

 Our last real vacation was to LA, where we spent days doing everything we ever thought about doing in that huge Mecca to sunshine and entertainment. Darling Husband was even filmed in an episode of Private Practice. That was a great trip. Disneyland was at the very top of my bucket list, so I got to go while I still had enough vision to make things out. We partied at a Hollywood mansion, and saw a show. Played on the Santa Monica Pier and in Malibu. Yes, I shopped on the Third Street Promenade. Hey, I'm a girl, we do those things.

Enough for now.....

Updating my status

Having a difficult time feeling like writing lately. Not that things are good or bad, just out of the mood.

Darling Husband's Ex, having moved into the guest apartment in April, is back. She had stayed there less than a week before moving in with her boyfriend, but left everything except for some clothing here. Now they have broken up and she returned to the apartment yesterday.

I feel bad for her, I really do. I like her a lot and enjoy her company. It's hard to see her hurting. Her last boyfriend before this one was killed in a car accident. I had really hoped that things would go well with the latest one. She deserves someone to love and adore her. 

The eyes have gotten worse this week, more fading of colors. I know what colors that most things are and it is frustrating that they no longer match at all with what my eyes tell me.

The stove is not here yet. Lowe's called to schedule it for Saturday afternoon. Had we known that their email delivery schedule is someone's joke, we probably would have picked it up ourselves. I'm ready to try it out.

Did I mention that my shrink moved to another town without any notice? Her partner kept the office a mile from here. Now I don't know if I want to travel to see her or switch to him. I like them both. They are easy to talk to, each has a different way to approach things. Time, I guess, to make some decisions.

The weekend is here. We are tackling yard work this week, fallen branches and weeds have tried to take over. I've gotten the patios cleaned up, and plan to water plants and wipe down the furniture this morning. Once that is done I think I will get out the etrike and go or a ride.

Saturday Morning....

The stove is here!!! I am so ready to try it out once it has been connected.

Sunday Night....

It is in the kitchen. It has not been connected. I keep looking at it. Perhaps tomorrow....

Yippee, I love new things!

I'm getting a new stove tomorrow. It's white with black grates, and plain knobs on the front, no buttons. The contrasting surface and ease of use will be world changing for me. No more burns from reaching over hot pans to turn knobs. It does not go with the other appliances, neither is it a high end appliance. That's more than alright with me. I just need something simple that I can cook on.

That wasn't my only treat today, although it is the largest of them. 

First was a six pack of DogNSuds rootbeer. When I grew up in a small town in Indiana, there was one drive in, the DogNSuds. Simple place, small menu, amazing memories of many hours spent there. One sip from the brown bottle brought my youth back, no pause, just mental pictures right then of friends, my '71 Challenger Convertible, music on cassettes. Wow.

The next treat was a vase of StarGazer Lillies, Pink Roses and Baby's Breath. The entire house smells like them. Pure heaven. I am truly spoiled by my Darling Husband. Hopefully, I will never take getting them for granted. It is so precious to me to see him come through the door with those fragrant flowers, smiling broadly as he hands them to me and kisses me.

Only Tuesday and so far it's a great week. The house is clean, laundry caught up. Mending is done, except for a dress which requires a new zipper. That is far beyond my capabilities, even with multiple magnifying glasses.

Just got my hair done and had several inches cut off. Now, it's up to shoulder length. Very pretty. 

My knee buckled a couple of times today when I bent it as I was sitting. Made me queasy when it happened, but thanks to Celebrex, I didn't hurt then or for hours afterward as it usually does.

Wednesday morning... I awoke at 5 a.m. The email said the stove would be delivered between 1 a.m. and 1 p.m. Today. I need to get in the tub and get my day started.

Enough for now.....

Labor Day

Still awaiting the trip to the grocery store. It's been put off for too long. There is just a cup or so of milk left in the fridge, we are out of trash bags, and the closest thing there is to snack on would be the nearly empty box of frosted flakes. Yep, time to restock the cupboards.

I received apology flowers for the first time in my life. They are truly lovely, and they smell heavenly. The bouquet is half again as large as the ones that Darling Husband brings me every other week, and the vase is exquisite. I can smell the flowers in every room of the house. Lovely. They worked, and I had already forgiven him when they arrived.

Finally got the ancient HP computer reformatted. XP and then the Vista reinstalled, followed by the belkin setup. There is no reason to load up all of my website favorites and photos since there are other things to go online with. I plan to use it to read to me and play music in the front room while crocheting with the giant floor stand magnifier. Reloaded the kindle app on it and now have to re-download 1441 books. Other than adding books I won't use it with the Internet.

Trying out new (to me) apps on the iPad this weekend. The Braille Institute has one called the Big Browser. The huge letters and search bar make it easy to find things. I am, however still hunting for a back button. The only thing I can figure is to reload the original page and go from there again. Still, it makes web pages easy to hunt for.

Another app is Read My Facebook. It reads the posts without all of the bs. No pics which means you cannot comment on how adorable a poster's latest what/whoever is. Maybe that's not a bad thing. YouTube videos are not in the feed, so it would take another browser to hear what friends are listening to instead of hitting a direct link.

Also, I'm playing with several magnifying apps this weekend. Reading the menu when we went out for breakfast this morning was made easier by several of them. I'm withholding judgement on which is best until the new iPad with a better rear camera arrives the day after tomorrow.

Ups lost my new bra on Friday. It was on the truck for delivery. They delivered my new faucet around 2:30. Around 6, it went up in the tracking that there were carrier issues, and delivery has been rescheduled for Tuesday. I have excellent service from ups, they are my go-to guys for shipping. I hope it gets here soon. I was planning to wear a dress this weekend that required the new (strapless) bra.

It is so nice to listen to football games again. I love to hear the games on TV. Even with a big screen I cannot make out what they are doing, so I pretend that I'm hearing games on the radio like I did as a child.

Enough for now....

Holiday Weekend

The front room is nearly completed. After a long period of chaos and redecorating over the redecorating, the end is in sight.

What is left to do is cleaning paint from a doorknob, putting away the supplies and straightening the closet. Such a relief to have a lovely, usable, enjoyable room again.

Today I plan to go to the grocery store. The list of about 25 items will take hours to find and purchase. We are out of or low on so many things, it is time to restock the freezer and cupboards. It really is a pleasure to be able to cook again with more confidence than I have had in a long time. The newest grocery list contains more ingredients than convenience foods. I'm looking forward to doing some real cooking.

Last night was steaks, mashed potatoes and baby peas. Actually, it was one steak, split between us. Trying to remove the first one from the broiler, I dropped it on the floor. As a result, the dog got a steak of her own. Oh well...

The house is clean, laundry finished and put away, the litter box is all that is left for the moment. Yesterday I found the last of the toys scattered around the house from our grandchildren visiting over the weekend.

They are growing up so fast. The oldest just started first grade and got glasses for the first time. The youngest turned three a month ago and is getting ready to start preschool with her hello kitty backpack. They have so much energy, and are a lot of fun to spend time with.

My oldest called the other day. He's getting ready to housesit for a friend out in California. He was astonished that it will pay more than he makes now after being at his job for more than twenty years. Family business, he is 32 and everyone there starts out pushing brooms and working their way up. He's taking a sabbatical to go out there and wants to do some exploring. I think he will enjoy himself. 

With the Labor Day Weekend here our plans are to relax and enjoy ourselves.

Assorted Stuff.......

After a long hiatus I am back on Celebrex. So nice to be pain free again. I can still feel my hipbones pop with every step. They can be heard popping several feet away. It is like having my own rhythm section every time I walk. The right knee still hyperextends and buckles. It feels so good to not hurt.

Good week so far. Still adjusting to the Celebrex, so I'm using my energy reserves carefully. Lately when I have a good day or two, I overdo things and then am down for several. The view from the sofa has gotten old, very old. Had some rough side effects the first few days, foggy, extremely emotional with several major meltdowns including a solid 3 days of continuous crying, and exhaustion, but only able to sleep a couple of hours here and there. I almost quit taking it, but, remembering how well it had worked in the past I stuck it out. I'm so glad I did. Now that it has settled in my system, I am pain free again.

Ordered the newest iPad last night. I would love to wait for the new 13 inch that is supposed to come out in '14. With a broken screen and a rear camera with low resolution, I need a better one than i have now.

I researched all of the available tablets and their apps to see which would work best for low vision. The iPad iOS had the most hands down. Others had the bigger screen, but I would be severely limited in usage with them. So, when the 13 inch iPad comes out, I will get it.

Hilarious..... The 7.5 iPad is called the mini pad, and the 13 is already being referred to as the maxi pad. Who comes up with this stuff?

The rear camera is used by various apps to identify colors, magnify so I can read labels and menus, use as a CCTV, identify denominations of paper money, etc. Who knew that just that one part of the tablet would be so useful? A larger resolution will be so welcome. Things magnified will be so much clearer and easier to make out. As it is, I have to use magnifying glasses with the magnifiers, and there are still web pages and things that I cannot see, like the kindle and adobe menus. The menus take 2-3 magnifiers to make out. At least I still can.

With that improvement as well as Siri, I will be able to function more comfortably at stores and restaurants, as well as be able to read printed books again.

Once the new one arrives, I will reset the old (current) one to the factory settings and then get the screen replaced. I may just keep it for music here at home or pass it on to a friend or relative who would use and enjoy it.

I'm really looking forward to the new one getting here.

Feeling better, I made a trip to the local thrift store yesterday. Just to get out of the house as well as seeing how well I would do at the grocery store later this week. It felt really good, came home not totally wiped out and having to sleep. The grocery store with even a short list takes 3-4 hours. Not just the problem of finding things, but also reading labels, etc. with the magnifiers.

Anyway, back to the thrift store. I found a gorgeous laptop bag (Diane Von Furstenberg, did I spell that right?) 3 leather purses, a black vest, 4 tops (J Jill and Ann Taylor) and 3 dresses. All for $50.04. Not bad at all. The clothes are in the washing machine, and I will clean the bags with saddle soap later today.

Big news, hair loss has slowed down! Almost down to the amount that people normally lose each day. I'm ready for it to start growing back in again. My scalp isn't something I enjoy seeing in the mirror. Had the methotrexate worked, it would have been worth it. The left eye got worse while on it, and the exhaustion just was not worth it. Not when I've been off the drug for 6 weeks and am just starting to get back to normal. At least a few days weekly of what passes for normal. I'm ready to do things without being wiped out for days afterword. Still enjoying the weight loss, though, great side effect.

Enough for now.....

Bathroom Remodel Progress

We have a new bathroom floor. New reinforcements in the foundations, an inch and a half of new sub flooring, new tile laid perfectly. We have new sewer lines, a new shower head and drain. Tomorrow, we will purchase a new toilet and new knobs and faucet for the shower.

It's been a long time project. When I moved in there were brown and turquoise tile walls four feet up, patterned tiles on the floor, and appalling floral wallpaper. It was a nightmare of patterns, hugely magnified by giant mirrors. The cupboards, drawers, and ceiling had not been painted since the home was built 60 years ago.

The tiles, mirrors and basic bones of the room are charming and work with the age and style of the home. 

The bathroom is now painted three shades of turquoise, lighting replaced along with the bathroom faucet. All metal in the room is now brushed nickel. Linens and curtains are turquoise and browns. 

In the shower above the tile walls are original oil paintings of beach scenes and sunsets. It's one of those truly unexpected touches that no one ever fails to remark upon.

The other artwork includes oils of a shack in the swamp, a young girl wearing a turquoise dress and flip flops, a coastal town scene.

A gargoyle lives above the medicine cabinet, there are seashells scattered around the room. Mouthwash is kept in a crystal liquor decanter and a couple of jigger size crystal shotglasses are next to it. A clock with an ocean scene in the background completes the room.

The bottom cupboard is kept cracked open. The interior is painted and wallpapered with artwork of cats hanging inside. That is where Layla's litter box is kept. No one sees it except her, and of course, me when I clean it. Still, it's a perfect tiny room just for her.

I'm so pleased with the way that the room has turned out.

When the rest of my sight is gone I will remember just how beautiful the bathroom is.

Enough for now.....

Minor Setback and Company

Minor setback over the last few days. Just the arthritis monster attacking every bone I've ever broken as well as the joints severely damaged when I took a flying lesson from a '78 Impala. Did the airborne portion beautifully, failed the landing. Have had few pain free days since May of 2001. It awakens me several times nightly. Advil and Tylenol are a joke, not even taking the edge off most days. So, now I'm worn out, but hurt too much to sleep. 

Once again, I have cancelled everything for the time being. The body needs rest and very gentle exercise. I'm off the treadmill until I feel better. My exercise now consists of using the exercise ball and a pair of hand weight. That will be the least amount of stress for now.

The sun felt like an ice pick stabbing behind my left eyeball when we went out earlier. That's with a pair of blackout glasses and a wide brimmed hat on. 

My youngest stepson arrived here from California today. It's always so good to see him. He is the kind of young man that anyone would proud to be the parent of. He welcomed me into the family and made me part of his life. 

Darling Husband and I raised great children. We are really blessed to have them. I am honored to have them in my life.

Enough for now......

Cooking and Bathroom Progress

Each day brings improved health. I'm enjoying being able to do things again, it even feels great to feel like wanting to do things.

Thanks to my occupational therapy lady I'm able to cook again. Still sticking with fairly simple things, but I am more confident than I have been in a long time.

Tonight I made meatballs in brown gravy, buttered potatoes, and French style green beans seasoned with bacon, butter and onions. I heated breadsticks that I had in the freezer. It turned out very well, and I'm so pleased to have learned new skills which give me back the ability to cook again.

The new pipes for the bathrooms are laying in the hallway. The main bathroom's floor is completely gone. The master bath can be replumbed without tearing up the floor. The work on that part can all be accessed from the main bath crawl space.

I'm using travel size shampoos and soaps. I forgot to grab the full sized ones from the main bath while the floor was still in place. The printing is too small to make out even with a magnifying glass, so I have to guess which is shampoo and which is conditioner.

Hoping the bathrooms will be done by the weekend. I'd love to soak in the tub..... Part of being female, having bubbles, music, candles and a drink in the tub. There is something to decadent about lounging in the tub for an hour or two.

When my daughter was working two jobs she would soak in the tub with a good book until the water got cool, then she would get out and freshen her drink while refilling the tub and get back in for another hour or so. It was her favorite time of day.

Enough for now......

Dad and a new week

New day, more progress and I'm happy. Still feeling better by the day.

The bathroom floor is gone. That is the last part of finishing the main bathroom remodel. We're also replumbing the sink in the master bath. So now we use the toilet in the master bath and wash our hands in the kitchen and shower in the guest apartment.  Hopefully the new floor is done in a day or so.

The front room has been painted and just needs the trim painted. Changing from aqua and teals to leaf and mossy greens has made a complete 180 on the way that the room looks and feels. There are white bookcases, an antique settee and a lovely rocking chair in there. It looks the way that the room was meant to look, if that makes any sense. Just outside one of the windows is a weeping willow tree, and the breeze moves the fronds back and forth just past the drapes. It's like a moving piece of artwork.

Yesterday was my adopted Dad's 83rd birthday. We got on the phone and talked for about 45 minutes. I miss living near him, the last time we did was in the mid 80's. He's a wonderful Dad, and we truly like each other. We spent countless hours fishing when I was growing up, tooling around rivers and lakes in his little boat hunting out the best places to catch fish. We did the whole catch and release thing, neither of us into cooking and cleaning the fish. We were just spending time together. 

He lives down on the south Texas coast, far from the cold winters that he loved when he was younger. The temperature changes bother him a lot now. He's given up tooling around on the Ducati for a pickup truck, and traveling frequently for the baseball package on cable.

He's the one family member who most understands what this eye disease is doing to me. He has Macular Degeneration, and has been undergoing treatments for the past couple of years. I do not know how he can stand getting injections in his eye, I'm so squeamish about needles. It's helping him now that they changed the drug that is treating him. Within weeks of his last injection he could see much better, and I'm so happy for him.

I sure wish my eye disease had an effective treatment. Dad is so lucky that his does.

Another busy week is starting, and I'm ready to get out and have some fun in the gardens. The weeds are choking out the flowers.

Enough for now.......