Loved, loved, loved the thunderstorms last night. Wonderful hearing the rainfall and the rumbles of thunder. I miss, though, having a home in a place where I could have windows open as I sleep. Getting brushed by a patch of rain tonight.
More flowers planted in the garden and big pots in the yard. Windows are open during the day, and the breezes are welcome. The house is clean, laundry is caught up, and I'm focusing my main efforts in gardening.
I've been walking Demeter most days, trying to go a mile at least. Getting her used to leading me, taking her different directions and places so that she can get me home. She's learning intersections, stopping at each one. She automatically looks every direction when we stop. I'm teaching her to look for cars, bikes, trucks, etc. She's gotten me home in the dark. Clever girl.
Since Demeter won't tolerate another animal in the house, getting a guide dog is out of the question. I expect a dog of Demeter's size and health to live another six or more years. That means that she and I are a team. I take care of her, she takes care of me. Symbiosis at its finest. I'm training her to lead me, getting her used to new places, things and situations. She'll do fine. Being helpful is something she enjoys.
It's hard to pace myself. I overdo things and wear out quickly. Then, I'm frustrated by not being able to do things. I wonder if I'll ever bounce back from the methotrexate. It's been almost a year since my first dose, and over ten months since my last one. That medicine really messed my up. Too bad it didn't help my eyes.
More eye changes. More sensitivity to light, less vision in shadows. A lot of shadowy things are just black blobs now. Kind of creepy in a b movie sort of way. More eye changes bring back hallucinations. Annoying as crap, the hallucinations are in clear focus and mainly in parts of my sight that are no longer working.
Each shift in sight brings a new wave of sadness. I mourn the loss of a bit more of the world. I have to adjust the way I do things. There are new adaptations to make, tweaking the systems that I've put in place in order to function. More tactile ways of identifying the world around me.
Enough for now....
Friday, May 9, 2014
Friday, May 2, 2014
Busy week
Great Birthday. I got out and about, took a long bike ride, ate out, bought a paperweight, walked a mile and a half with Demeter. I drank an eight ounce beer with my brother-in-law, remembered why I dislike beer, it tastes awful, watched Frozen, cleaned dog vomit from three places after her share of our hamburger disagreed with her. I ordered a lightning to av connector for the iPad so I can project things onto the tv. Ate cake at four a.m. Did a bit of laundry, took a short nap, pampered myself including a mani-pedi followed by coating my feet with Vaseline and pulling on a pair of spa socks, went to bed before midnight, and awoke to the delightful sounds of a thunderstorm.
Sunday, my friend took me out for steak. We dined at a lovely restaurant overlooking a lake. Took a long walk down to the water. She and I laughed and chatted for hours. We shopped a bit, mainly goodies for me, camping supplies for her. It was altogether a really nice weekend.
Today, I've finished the laundry and ran the vacuum. The ground is still too wet to mow, so that can wait another day. The arthritis monster has arrived and is camped out in my body. I've napped a couple of times, but so far it hasn't helped. More pain pills, an early bedtime, long soaks in the tub, and the heated mattress pad are my treatments for pain.
Received a birthday card from Hubby today. It was lovely. His message was so precious and heartfelt. Even more loving than the ones that he'd given me in the past. I cried reading it, I still am. He misses me, he misses us. Yet, I'm here because he kicked me out. He needs to decide what he wants, because it's just about too late. I can't take any more pain and hurt associated with this breakup. I'm trying my hardest to get over him, doing my best to heal, to continue going on each day. I'm learning to be alone.
The package also contained a small easel with a painting of a bouquet of flowers. Something I did not expect at all. Since he longer brings me flowers every other week, these are flowers I can enjoy for a long time.
Good news. I transplanted my cinnamon and key lime trees together into a huge pot. The key lime has had a single leaf for the past year. Now, after two weeks in it's new home, it has taken off. There are new leaves growing all over it. I'm so pleased with the change. Someday, I may end up picking limes from it.
Three eggs in the robins nest on the front porch. Added boston ferns to the porch, along with new cushions on the rocking chairs. Finished mowing today, transplanted an aloe vera. Took Demeter out for a walk, bought some Persian shields for my garden, got a burger for Demeter, and ran into an old friend and had a long chat. Good day overall, I've enjoyed it.
Enough for now....
Sunday, my friend took me out for steak. We dined at a lovely restaurant overlooking a lake. Took a long walk down to the water. She and I laughed and chatted for hours. We shopped a bit, mainly goodies for me, camping supplies for her. It was altogether a really nice weekend.
Today, I've finished the laundry and ran the vacuum. The ground is still too wet to mow, so that can wait another day. The arthritis monster has arrived and is camped out in my body. I've napped a couple of times, but so far it hasn't helped. More pain pills, an early bedtime, long soaks in the tub, and the heated mattress pad are my treatments for pain.
Received a birthday card from Hubby today. It was lovely. His message was so precious and heartfelt. Even more loving than the ones that he'd given me in the past. I cried reading it, I still am. He misses me, he misses us. Yet, I'm here because he kicked me out. He needs to decide what he wants, because it's just about too late. I can't take any more pain and hurt associated with this breakup. I'm trying my hardest to get over him, doing my best to heal, to continue going on each day. I'm learning to be alone.
The package also contained a small easel with a painting of a bouquet of flowers. Something I did not expect at all. Since he longer brings me flowers every other week, these are flowers I can enjoy for a long time.
Good news. I transplanted my cinnamon and key lime trees together into a huge pot. The key lime has had a single leaf for the past year. Now, after two weeks in it's new home, it has taken off. There are new leaves growing all over it. I'm so pleased with the change. Someday, I may end up picking limes from it.
Three eggs in the robins nest on the front porch. Added boston ferns to the porch, along with new cushions on the rocking chairs. Finished mowing today, transplanted an aloe vera. Took Demeter out for a walk, bought some Persian shields for my garden, got a burger for Demeter, and ran into an old friend and had a long chat. Good day overall, I've enjoyed it.
Enough for now....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)