...
With only two spotty channels on the tv, I've begun taking advantage of my Prime membership. Over the past few days, I've been watching Doctor Who, one of my favorite shows from childhood. It's so nice to be able to see shows that I'd long missed.
Demeter and I have been taking long walks, at least a mile daily. It's good for us both, getting plenty of exercise and all that nonsense. She's doing well with our travels, but a loud diesel motor or a motorcycle will have her dragging me as fast as she can with her tail between her legs. We're working on it, but it's taking time.
I've taught her the word "intersection". She stops, checks every direction, and awaits her command to cross. So far, so good. She's learning to ignore the many dogs we pass, most of them on short chains from the blurs I can make out of their movements. Only a few are in fenced yards, where they have freedom to play and run along the fence.
The robins have hatched, grown, and left the nest. I finally have my spider plant back, and it's responding to regular watering now that the nest is empty. Now, a pair of finches are building a nest in one of my ferns.
Running the ac already. It's in the eighties, which I adore, but it's incredibly muggy outside. My mistake was in having the doors open which really made the house steamy.
We received a lot of rain recently. We've really needed it here. With nearby lakes being low, our town has decided to not open the pool this year. It's a shame. Our summers are long and hot, and there is little here for children to do. School sports and the public library are the only things here in town for the under eighteen crowd. Hopefully, the rain we've just gotten will be just a start.
I've moved on, gotten over Hubby, let go of the pain and hurt. I awaken each day feeling more and more like my old self, the me that I was before things went so wrong. I look forward to life, and find happiness again in the little things. It took a lot of time and effort to get here, a lot of tears. I came through the storm, and I survived......
He came up on Friday. Paperwork to be signed in front of a notary, lunch at a restaurant, and we sat on the porch. Chatted for an hour or so as we sipped pink lemonade and he repaired broken parts on my etrike. Tomorrow, he will return. Just one more paper for me to sign, and then, I'm single again.
I think that this will be the last post on this blog. It's the end of a portion of my life, and I'm ready to move on.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Friday, May 9, 2014
Rain and changes
Loved, loved, loved the thunderstorms last night. Wonderful hearing the rainfall and the rumbles of thunder. I miss, though, having a home in a place where I could have windows open as I sleep. Getting brushed by a patch of rain tonight.
More flowers planted in the garden and big pots in the yard. Windows are open during the day, and the breezes are welcome. The house is clean, laundry is caught up, and I'm focusing my main efforts in gardening.
I've been walking Demeter most days, trying to go a mile at least. Getting her used to leading me, taking her different directions and places so that she can get me home. She's learning intersections, stopping at each one. She automatically looks every direction when we stop. I'm teaching her to look for cars, bikes, trucks, etc. She's gotten me home in the dark. Clever girl.
Since Demeter won't tolerate another animal in the house, getting a guide dog is out of the question. I expect a dog of Demeter's size and health to live another six or more years. That means that she and I are a team. I take care of her, she takes care of me. Symbiosis at its finest. I'm training her to lead me, getting her used to new places, things and situations. She'll do fine. Being helpful is something she enjoys.
It's hard to pace myself. I overdo things and wear out quickly. Then, I'm frustrated by not being able to do things. I wonder if I'll ever bounce back from the methotrexate. It's been almost a year since my first dose, and over ten months since my last one. That medicine really messed my up. Too bad it didn't help my eyes.
More eye changes. More sensitivity to light, less vision in shadows. A lot of shadowy things are just black blobs now. Kind of creepy in a b movie sort of way. More eye changes bring back hallucinations. Annoying as crap, the hallucinations are in clear focus and mainly in parts of my sight that are no longer working.
Each shift in sight brings a new wave of sadness. I mourn the loss of a bit more of the world. I have to adjust the way I do things. There are new adaptations to make, tweaking the systems that I've put in place in order to function. More tactile ways of identifying the world around me.
Enough for now....
More flowers planted in the garden and big pots in the yard. Windows are open during the day, and the breezes are welcome. The house is clean, laundry is caught up, and I'm focusing my main efforts in gardening.
I've been walking Demeter most days, trying to go a mile at least. Getting her used to leading me, taking her different directions and places so that she can get me home. She's learning intersections, stopping at each one. She automatically looks every direction when we stop. I'm teaching her to look for cars, bikes, trucks, etc. She's gotten me home in the dark. Clever girl.
Since Demeter won't tolerate another animal in the house, getting a guide dog is out of the question. I expect a dog of Demeter's size and health to live another six or more years. That means that she and I are a team. I take care of her, she takes care of me. Symbiosis at its finest. I'm training her to lead me, getting her used to new places, things and situations. She'll do fine. Being helpful is something she enjoys.
It's hard to pace myself. I overdo things and wear out quickly. Then, I'm frustrated by not being able to do things. I wonder if I'll ever bounce back from the methotrexate. It's been almost a year since my first dose, and over ten months since my last one. That medicine really messed my up. Too bad it didn't help my eyes.
More eye changes. More sensitivity to light, less vision in shadows. A lot of shadowy things are just black blobs now. Kind of creepy in a b movie sort of way. More eye changes bring back hallucinations. Annoying as crap, the hallucinations are in clear focus and mainly in parts of my sight that are no longer working.
Each shift in sight brings a new wave of sadness. I mourn the loss of a bit more of the world. I have to adjust the way I do things. There are new adaptations to make, tweaking the systems that I've put in place in order to function. More tactile ways of identifying the world around me.
Enough for now....
Friday, May 2, 2014
Busy week
Great Birthday. I got out and about, took a long bike ride, ate out, bought a paperweight, walked a mile and a half with Demeter. I drank an eight ounce beer with my brother-in-law, remembered why I dislike beer, it tastes awful, watched Frozen, cleaned dog vomit from three places after her share of our hamburger disagreed with her. I ordered a lightning to av connector for the iPad so I can project things onto the tv. Ate cake at four a.m. Did a bit of laundry, took a short nap, pampered myself including a mani-pedi followed by coating my feet with Vaseline and pulling on a pair of spa socks, went to bed before midnight, and awoke to the delightful sounds of a thunderstorm.
Sunday, my friend took me out for steak. We dined at a lovely restaurant overlooking a lake. Took a long walk down to the water. She and I laughed and chatted for hours. We shopped a bit, mainly goodies for me, camping supplies for her. It was altogether a really nice weekend.
Today, I've finished the laundry and ran the vacuum. The ground is still too wet to mow, so that can wait another day. The arthritis monster has arrived and is camped out in my body. I've napped a couple of times, but so far it hasn't helped. More pain pills, an early bedtime, long soaks in the tub, and the heated mattress pad are my treatments for pain.
Received a birthday card from Hubby today. It was lovely. His message was so precious and heartfelt. Even more loving than the ones that he'd given me in the past. I cried reading it, I still am. He misses me, he misses us. Yet, I'm here because he kicked me out. He needs to decide what he wants, because it's just about too late. I can't take any more pain and hurt associated with this breakup. I'm trying my hardest to get over him, doing my best to heal, to continue going on each day. I'm learning to be alone.
The package also contained a small easel with a painting of a bouquet of flowers. Something I did not expect at all. Since he longer brings me flowers every other week, these are flowers I can enjoy for a long time.
Good news. I transplanted my cinnamon and key lime trees together into a huge pot. The key lime has had a single leaf for the past year. Now, after two weeks in it's new home, it has taken off. There are new leaves growing all over it. I'm so pleased with the change. Someday, I may end up picking limes from it.
Three eggs in the robins nest on the front porch. Added boston ferns to the porch, along with new cushions on the rocking chairs. Finished mowing today, transplanted an aloe vera. Took Demeter out for a walk, bought some Persian shields for my garden, got a burger for Demeter, and ran into an old friend and had a long chat. Good day overall, I've enjoyed it.
Enough for now....
Sunday, my friend took me out for steak. We dined at a lovely restaurant overlooking a lake. Took a long walk down to the water. She and I laughed and chatted for hours. We shopped a bit, mainly goodies for me, camping supplies for her. It was altogether a really nice weekend.
Today, I've finished the laundry and ran the vacuum. The ground is still too wet to mow, so that can wait another day. The arthritis monster has arrived and is camped out in my body. I've napped a couple of times, but so far it hasn't helped. More pain pills, an early bedtime, long soaks in the tub, and the heated mattress pad are my treatments for pain.
Received a birthday card from Hubby today. It was lovely. His message was so precious and heartfelt. Even more loving than the ones that he'd given me in the past. I cried reading it, I still am. He misses me, he misses us. Yet, I'm here because he kicked me out. He needs to decide what he wants, because it's just about too late. I can't take any more pain and hurt associated with this breakup. I'm trying my hardest to get over him, doing my best to heal, to continue going on each day. I'm learning to be alone.
The package also contained a small easel with a painting of a bouquet of flowers. Something I did not expect at all. Since he longer brings me flowers every other week, these are flowers I can enjoy for a long time.
Good news. I transplanted my cinnamon and key lime trees together into a huge pot. The key lime has had a single leaf for the past year. Now, after two weeks in it's new home, it has taken off. There are new leaves growing all over it. I'm so pleased with the change. Someday, I may end up picking limes from it.
Three eggs in the robins nest on the front porch. Added boston ferns to the porch, along with new cushions on the rocking chairs. Finished mowing today, transplanted an aloe vera. Took Demeter out for a walk, bought some Persian shields for my garden, got a burger for Demeter, and ran into an old friend and had a long chat. Good day overall, I've enjoyed it.
Enough for now....
Friday, April 25, 2014
Another evening ramble
Thursday....
Back to pain pills after a welcome hiatus from them. The weather fronts in the area are taking their toll on me today. Only managed two miles on the treadmill. Even taking long breaks every half mile, the pain was too much.
Still, I puttered around the house, straightening things up. The windows were open once the thunderstorm passed. It felt like fresh air should, brisk and breezy.
My flowers arrived today. Some of the buds are opening, and the house smells so nice. They came with a large glass vase which will be put to good use in the future. I'm considering reordering them on a regular basis. Perhaps alternating them with another standing order of flowers.
The grocery store here in town sells cut flowers. The carnations are nice, lasting a couple of weeks, but they're not always available. I've also bought a dozen roses there on three different occasions. The roses wilt and look bad in under seventy two hours. I think ordering flowers online is best for the quality.
Friday....
Was in bed by eight o'clock last night. Took a pain pill near the end of watching Vampire Diaries, knowing once it kicks in that I'm too dizzy and off balance to do anything. Demeter made me get up with her around ten thirty, and again around midnight. Her bladder doesn't understand early bedtimes.
Saturday is my birthday. Today, I received a card from my best friend, and my red riding hood figurine arrived. I took a bike ride, only using the electric assist on hills, came home to make bacon sandwiches, and then took Demeter on a long walk. We ended up at Sonic, where I got a diet soda and Demeter got an ice cream cone. She turned it down flat, no interest whatsoever, so it went in the trash. She's never turned down ice cream before. I wonder if I should worry.
Just had a long talk with my adopted dad. I miss living near him, although we've not been neighbors since the eighties. Mostly, we've lived at least a thousand miles apart over the years. Thank goodness for phones and the internet. We can still stay close. He's eighty two, loves his baseball package on cable and mild winters.
I bought a carrot cake. Tired of baking my own birthday cakes, I've been doing that all my life. Demeter and I shared a piece earlier. Guess she just wasn't in the ice cream mood after all.
Rearranging some of the artwork around the house. No particular reason for doing it, other than the house is clean and I'm in the mood to do something, but nothing I have to think about. Make sense? Puttering for puttering's sake.
Enough for now.....
Back to pain pills after a welcome hiatus from them. The weather fronts in the area are taking their toll on me today. Only managed two miles on the treadmill. Even taking long breaks every half mile, the pain was too much.
Still, I puttered around the house, straightening things up. The windows were open once the thunderstorm passed. It felt like fresh air should, brisk and breezy.
My flowers arrived today. Some of the buds are opening, and the house smells so nice. They came with a large glass vase which will be put to good use in the future. I'm considering reordering them on a regular basis. Perhaps alternating them with another standing order of flowers.
The grocery store here in town sells cut flowers. The carnations are nice, lasting a couple of weeks, but they're not always available. I've also bought a dozen roses there on three different occasions. The roses wilt and look bad in under seventy two hours. I think ordering flowers online is best for the quality.
Friday....
Was in bed by eight o'clock last night. Took a pain pill near the end of watching Vampire Diaries, knowing once it kicks in that I'm too dizzy and off balance to do anything. Demeter made me get up with her around ten thirty, and again around midnight. Her bladder doesn't understand early bedtimes.
Saturday is my birthday. Today, I received a card from my best friend, and my red riding hood figurine arrived. I took a bike ride, only using the electric assist on hills, came home to make bacon sandwiches, and then took Demeter on a long walk. We ended up at Sonic, where I got a diet soda and Demeter got an ice cream cone. She turned it down flat, no interest whatsoever, so it went in the trash. She's never turned down ice cream before. I wonder if I should worry.
Just had a long talk with my adopted dad. I miss living near him, although we've not been neighbors since the eighties. Mostly, we've lived at least a thousand miles apart over the years. Thank goodness for phones and the internet. We can still stay close. He's eighty two, loves his baseball package on cable and mild winters.
I bought a carrot cake. Tired of baking my own birthday cakes, I've been doing that all my life. Demeter and I shared a piece earlier. Guess she just wasn't in the ice cream mood after all.
Rearranging some of the artwork around the house. No particular reason for doing it, other than the house is clean and I'm in the mood to do something, but nothing I have to think about. Make sense? Puttering for puttering's sake.
Enough for now.....
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Wednesday
A pair of Robins have built a nest in my spider plant on the front porch. I sneak out and water it when they're away from their little home. It will be lovely to have baby birds close enough to see from the windows. Adding to the fun, a pair each of Cardinals and Mockingbirds have set up housekeeping in the backyard.
The trees in my yard are leafing out. Shade will be wonderful this summer. My medications all require that I avoid sunlight. The trees will make it easier for me to enjoy the outdoors. They will also keep the house cooler this summer.
With warm temperatures, I'm feeling well. Haven't taken any pain pills in awhile, and don't miss them at all. The furnace is off, electric fireplace and space heaters have been packed away for the time being. Windows are open, and the breezes are airing out the house. The back door is open so that Demeter can run in and out.
Found a nightly beauty routine which works. Two nights of retinA on my face, followed by a night of aloe vera. My skin is younger looking, the only wrinkles show up when I grin, then disappear when I stop. I stick with retinA on my neck, chest and hands every third day, and use the aloe vera the other days. Lotion daily all over. I keep my supplies in a basket along with a manicure set, so I don't forget anything.
Dusting is the only thing left on today's list. I work clockwise around each room so I don't miss any spots. The bedroom carpets still need to be shampooed. The carpet is still mostly matted in those rooms. I wonder if shampooing first will make pulling up the nap easier. Perhaps I'll try in one of the bedrooms just to see. Found a carpet groomer online, kind of like a rake with small tines. Might be simpler than using the metal dog brush on the nap.
The final box has been unpacked. That only took ten weeks.... It means that this is now home. It's permanent, I do live here. My life is here. Leaving that box full and taped shut meant there was still hope of life with Hubby in Okc. Now, I knew there was no hope of change, but that box really meant something.
As a result of unpacking that last box, the guest room is now finished. I'd purchased a queen size frame and an eight inch memory foam mattress. Not as comfortable as the fourteen inch one in my bedroom, but extremely close. Wish I had discovered those mattresses long ago, they are so nice to sleep on. The decor includes Mom's oil paintings of the ocean, Jack Vettriano prints of the seaside, and a pair of full size mirrors. There are bookcases, great grandma's settee, and some old glassware. It's a beautiful room, and I'm looking forward to having guests.
Having company will be great. I like entertaining, and hadn't done much during the last few years. Now, I'm finding I want to begin again. Whether it's house guests or friends over for a cookout, I like hosting.
Shopping for a swimming pool. Eighteen feet is about the most my backyard will handle and still have some privacy. Definitely an above ground, easy setup, needs a privacy screen of some sort.
I've planted morning and evening glories in huge pots along the street side of the fence. That will be a nice view blocker. I look forward to the sights and scents of the flowers covering the chain link fencing. Since five homes overlook my backyard, it will be nice to get in and out of the pool without being watched. I can't see the neighbors, just hear them, and I prefer they not see me in a swimsuit in my yard.
I want big planters around my patio furniture as well. It will feel like an outdoor room. Since I'll be spending a lot of time outside, I want to really enjoy it. I want to have a home that I love.
Enough for now.....
The trees in my yard are leafing out. Shade will be wonderful this summer. My medications all require that I avoid sunlight. The trees will make it easier for me to enjoy the outdoors. They will also keep the house cooler this summer.
With warm temperatures, I'm feeling well. Haven't taken any pain pills in awhile, and don't miss them at all. The furnace is off, electric fireplace and space heaters have been packed away for the time being. Windows are open, and the breezes are airing out the house. The back door is open so that Demeter can run in and out.
Found a nightly beauty routine which works. Two nights of retinA on my face, followed by a night of aloe vera. My skin is younger looking, the only wrinkles show up when I grin, then disappear when I stop. I stick with retinA on my neck, chest and hands every third day, and use the aloe vera the other days. Lotion daily all over. I keep my supplies in a basket along with a manicure set, so I don't forget anything.
Dusting is the only thing left on today's list. I work clockwise around each room so I don't miss any spots. The bedroom carpets still need to be shampooed. The carpet is still mostly matted in those rooms. I wonder if shampooing first will make pulling up the nap easier. Perhaps I'll try in one of the bedrooms just to see. Found a carpet groomer online, kind of like a rake with small tines. Might be simpler than using the metal dog brush on the nap.
The final box has been unpacked. That only took ten weeks.... It means that this is now home. It's permanent, I do live here. My life is here. Leaving that box full and taped shut meant there was still hope of life with Hubby in Okc. Now, I knew there was no hope of change, but that box really meant something.
As a result of unpacking that last box, the guest room is now finished. I'd purchased a queen size frame and an eight inch memory foam mattress. Not as comfortable as the fourteen inch one in my bedroom, but extremely close. Wish I had discovered those mattresses long ago, they are so nice to sleep on. The decor includes Mom's oil paintings of the ocean, Jack Vettriano prints of the seaside, and a pair of full size mirrors. There are bookcases, great grandma's settee, and some old glassware. It's a beautiful room, and I'm looking forward to having guests.
Having company will be great. I like entertaining, and hadn't done much during the last few years. Now, I'm finding I want to begin again. Whether it's house guests or friends over for a cookout, I like hosting.
Shopping for a swimming pool. Eighteen feet is about the most my backyard will handle and still have some privacy. Definitely an above ground, easy setup, needs a privacy screen of some sort.
I've planted morning and evening glories in huge pots along the street side of the fence. That will be a nice view blocker. I look forward to the sights and scents of the flowers covering the chain link fencing. Since five homes overlook my backyard, it will be nice to get in and out of the pool without being watched. I can't see the neighbors, just hear them, and I prefer they not see me in a swimsuit in my yard.
I want big planters around my patio furniture as well. It will feel like an outdoor room. Since I'll be spending a lot of time outside, I want to really enjoy it. I want to have a home that I love.
Enough for now.....
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Tuesday evening.....
Went to my first PowWow over the weekend. I loved every moment. It was so fascinating to see a different culture, and to learn traditions, thoughts and ideas. There was so much beauty in the way everyone got along, the way they danced, and the honor and respect in everything they did.
Mowed today, and as a result, did not exercise. Using a reel mower is a workout in itself. The yard is decent sized, and had to be mowed in sections. Taking breaks between each portion helped a lot.
I ordered my birthday gifts online today. A bouquet of lilies and a red riding hood figure. One should be here by Saturday, hopefully the other will also, but I don't expect it.
This is the first year I won't be celebrating at Festival Of The Arts in Okc. It's been a tradition for years to go, and I will miss it. I loved all of the artwork, the entertainers on the stage, and the food. The food alone was worth going...
I'm using solar lighting in some rooms of the house. With three rooms of the house having only one electrical outlet, and one without any, I have to find some way to provide extra lighting. I bought several outdoor solar lights. During the day I put them in an empty flower pot outdoors. In the evening, I bring them in and put them in vases in different rooms. It seems to work fairly well. They're not real bright, but work well as night lights. sure wish I had thought of doing it years ago.
Most of the homes I've lived in during my life have been from the 1860's to 1950's, three were from the 1920's. This house is from the early 1920's.
I love the old houses the most. They have charm and personality that newer ones don't have. Those are the houses which feel most like home to me.
This house has rapidly become home. It's far from perfect, and that's alright. It's cozy and comfortable, my possessions look as though they were always here. I'm liking the way it looks and feels.
I'm comfortable with my choice to move back to this town. It's familiar, a small town similar to the one I grew up in. There is a strong sense of community. People are accepting of others, and are friendly. If you go down the street, or are shopping, folks stop and chat. It's nice, after being in the city, to be back in this place.
Enough for now.....
Mowed today, and as a result, did not exercise. Using a reel mower is a workout in itself. The yard is decent sized, and had to be mowed in sections. Taking breaks between each portion helped a lot.
I ordered my birthday gifts online today. A bouquet of lilies and a red riding hood figure. One should be here by Saturday, hopefully the other will also, but I don't expect it.
This is the first year I won't be celebrating at Festival Of The Arts in Okc. It's been a tradition for years to go, and I will miss it. I loved all of the artwork, the entertainers on the stage, and the food. The food alone was worth going...
I'm using solar lighting in some rooms of the house. With three rooms of the house having only one electrical outlet, and one without any, I have to find some way to provide extra lighting. I bought several outdoor solar lights. During the day I put them in an empty flower pot outdoors. In the evening, I bring them in and put them in vases in different rooms. It seems to work fairly well. They're not real bright, but work well as night lights. sure wish I had thought of doing it years ago.
Most of the homes I've lived in during my life have been from the 1860's to 1950's, three were from the 1920's. This house is from the early 1920's.
I love the old houses the most. They have charm and personality that newer ones don't have. Those are the houses which feel most like home to me.
This house has rapidly become home. It's far from perfect, and that's alright. It's cozy and comfortable, my possessions look as though they were always here. I'm liking the way it looks and feels.
I'm comfortable with my choice to move back to this town. It's familiar, a small town similar to the one I grew up in. There is a strong sense of community. People are accepting of others, and are friendly. If you go down the street, or are shopping, folks stop and chat. It's nice, after being in the city, to be back in this place.
Enough for now.....
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Smiling
I'm so pleased with my new hairdresser. My hair looks great and feels wonderful. Back to being a redhead, the cut is perfect. Seems I won't need to go to the city for beauty. Yippee!
Been out and about recently. Rode the etrike to the store for flowers and bread. Only using the power assist when going up hills, the knee cries and I keep going through the pain. Took Demeter for a long walk. Got my hair done, bought a soda, etc.
Opened a couple of windows today. It felt so nice to feel breezes flowing through the house. Some windows don't open, others have no screens. It may take some work to unstick the windows which do not open. I think they're painted shut.
Did some weeding in the front garden today. The hyacinths, gladiolas, and ferns are up. I need to mow tomorrow before rain hits on Sunday and makes the grass too tall.
Some of the coleus plants in the plant starter are finally coming up. I'm anxious for them to be large enough to plant in the pots and gardens.
Somehow, I managed to burn part of my neck. I think that I grabbed something other than the moisturizer I usually put on it at night. I need to label beauty products more carefully. Unfortunately, it's not the first time I've done that.
Most of the living room carpet has been shampooed. Either tomorrow or Sunday, I plan to finish the living room and hit the dining room.
The carpet is so filthy. I vacuum at least twice weekly. I've raised the nap that was matted, and that revealed even more dirt. Hopefully, the carpet shampooer will make a big difference.
More guys are hitting on me. I get stopped by them when I'm out, they follow me when I shop. Any excuse to talk, and to ask me out. All ages, from early twenties on up. One guy I've known since he was a kid, and is the same age as my youngest son (24), even sexted me. Kind of funny.
Anyway, I'm still married. Not looking for a date, relationship, or a playmate. But, my oh my, it's wonderful for my ego. Especially with me turning fifty three in a couple of weeks....
It tells me that even though I failed at this marriage, my love life isn't over. I'm still doing something right. Still me, not allowing the rough things of the past couple of years destroy me. I've come through the storm, and I'm standing tall.
Been out and about recently. Rode the etrike to the store for flowers and bread. Only using the power assist when going up hills, the knee cries and I keep going through the pain. Took Demeter for a long walk. Got my hair done, bought a soda, etc.
Opened a couple of windows today. It felt so nice to feel breezes flowing through the house. Some windows don't open, others have no screens. It may take some work to unstick the windows which do not open. I think they're painted shut.
Did some weeding in the front garden today. The hyacinths, gladiolas, and ferns are up. I need to mow tomorrow before rain hits on Sunday and makes the grass too tall.
Some of the coleus plants in the plant starter are finally coming up. I'm anxious for them to be large enough to plant in the pots and gardens.
Somehow, I managed to burn part of my neck. I think that I grabbed something other than the moisturizer I usually put on it at night. I need to label beauty products more carefully. Unfortunately, it's not the first time I've done that.
Most of the living room carpet has been shampooed. Either tomorrow or Sunday, I plan to finish the living room and hit the dining room.
The carpet is so filthy. I vacuum at least twice weekly. I've raised the nap that was matted, and that revealed even more dirt. Hopefully, the carpet shampooer will make a big difference.
More guys are hitting on me. I get stopped by them when I'm out, they follow me when I shop. Any excuse to talk, and to ask me out. All ages, from early twenties on up. One guy I've known since he was a kid, and is the same age as my youngest son (24), even sexted me. Kind of funny.
Anyway, I'm still married. Not looking for a date, relationship, or a playmate. But, my oh my, it's wonderful for my ego. Especially with me turning fifty three in a couple of weeks....
It tells me that even though I failed at this marriage, my love life isn't over. I'm still doing something right. Still me, not allowing the rough things of the past couple of years destroy me. I've come through the storm, and I'm standing tall.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Current things.....
Good day overall. Got a few things done, errands run, prescriptions refilled, found some DVDs for three dollars each. Mazzios delivered dinner.
I chased cobwebs with my broom. I have no idea if I got any, or even if I had any. But it felt good to sweep every corner of the ceilings.
Demeter and I have gotten out and walked. The weather is improving daily, and my pain levels are low.
My brother-in-law pestered me until I purchased a heated mattress pad. I'm so glad he did. Sleeping much better and awakening feeling rested is lovely. Sometimes I get great advice, and at times, I even follow it.
Tomorrow, I plan to get my hair done. The last hairdresser left most of the dye in my hair. When I washed it, it took a long time to get it off. The water ran dark brown in the sink for a long time. My scalp has been raw, itching and peeling from that for several weeks. It's finally healed, and I'm going to a new hairdresser to get rid of this cheap wig type color that was done. There are about a dozen hairdressers in town. One is now scratched off the list. Hopefully, I can find a good one.
My gladiolas and hyacinths are up. I need to weed and get the rest of the seeds planted in the front garden.
The seeds in the starter boxes have done nothing in the couple of weeks since they were planted. I'm impatient with them, anxious to see them sprout. Nine are Bird of Paradise, three different varieties. They take awhile to sprout and grow.
I have a huge pot in the Mudroom. At the moment, I'm thinking of planting the Cinnamon Tree and the Key Lime Tree in there. They require temps above freezing, so they must be potted. They're of a similar size, and I'm hoping that they do well together.
Started reading a history of Byzantium this week. Really dry, nothing but battles. Boring, boring, boring... I've downloaded a few more books on the subject, and am hoping to find those more interesting.
I wish writers would include more details than who slew whom. I want to know what the people were like, how they lived, worked, shopped, dressed. I want to know how they thought of themselves and how they related to others. I want to know what they learned, what interested them, what they were passionate about, and why.
The left eye has lights flashing in it a lot more recently. Sort of like being on a stage with cameras flashing at me, is the only way I can think to describe it. Very distracting, but just another part of the ongoing battle my immune system is waging against me. It's hitting me where I am the most vulnerable. Being an extremely visual person, had I the choice, would have gladly given up any other sense rather than sight.
My small home library of favorite books; reference, fiction, hobbies, most loved art, children's books will be kept. Same with my basket of kaleidoscopes, they are a symbol of hope to me. They're there awaiting the day that a cure is found, and I can read them again.
Enough for now......
I chased cobwebs with my broom. I have no idea if I got any, or even if I had any. But it felt good to sweep every corner of the ceilings.
Demeter and I have gotten out and walked. The weather is improving daily, and my pain levels are low.
My brother-in-law pestered me until I purchased a heated mattress pad. I'm so glad he did. Sleeping much better and awakening feeling rested is lovely. Sometimes I get great advice, and at times, I even follow it.
Tomorrow, I plan to get my hair done. The last hairdresser left most of the dye in my hair. When I washed it, it took a long time to get it off. The water ran dark brown in the sink for a long time. My scalp has been raw, itching and peeling from that for several weeks. It's finally healed, and I'm going to a new hairdresser to get rid of this cheap wig type color that was done. There are about a dozen hairdressers in town. One is now scratched off the list. Hopefully, I can find a good one.
My gladiolas and hyacinths are up. I need to weed and get the rest of the seeds planted in the front garden.
The seeds in the starter boxes have done nothing in the couple of weeks since they were planted. I'm impatient with them, anxious to see them sprout. Nine are Bird of Paradise, three different varieties. They take awhile to sprout and grow.
I have a huge pot in the Mudroom. At the moment, I'm thinking of planting the Cinnamon Tree and the Key Lime Tree in there. They require temps above freezing, so they must be potted. They're of a similar size, and I'm hoping that they do well together.
Started reading a history of Byzantium this week. Really dry, nothing but battles. Boring, boring, boring... I've downloaded a few more books on the subject, and am hoping to find those more interesting.
I wish writers would include more details than who slew whom. I want to know what the people were like, how they lived, worked, shopped, dressed. I want to know how they thought of themselves and how they related to others. I want to know what they learned, what interested them, what they were passionate about, and why.
The left eye has lights flashing in it a lot more recently. Sort of like being on a stage with cameras flashing at me, is the only way I can think to describe it. Very distracting, but just another part of the ongoing battle my immune system is waging against me. It's hitting me where I am the most vulnerable. Being an extremely visual person, had I the choice, would have gladly given up any other sense rather than sight.
My small home library of favorite books; reference, fiction, hobbies, most loved art, children's books will be kept. Same with my basket of kaleidoscopes, they are a symbol of hope to me. They're there awaiting the day that a cure is found, and I can read them again.
Enough for now......
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
If I'm Lucky, Karma Will Give Me A Good Seat.
I discovered that Hubby cleared out our storage unit. Hundreds of books, CDs, and DVDs gone, my good camera, my antique camera collection, clothes, household goods, my children's baby things, personal items. All of it, just gone.
I had to put my things there when hubby moved his ex into our home. She took over the guest apartment and the entire garage. There was no room for most of my things, so I put them in the storage unit until she finally moved out. She's still there.
I would not have done that to him, or to anyone for that matter.
Divine justice and karma will come back and bite him in the butt. If I'm lucky, I'll get to watch.
I had to put my things there when hubby moved his ex into our home. She took over the guest apartment and the entire garage. There was no room for most of my things, so I put them in the storage unit until she finally moved out. She's still there.
I would not have done that to him, or to anyone for that matter.
Divine justice and karma will come back and bite him in the butt. If I'm lucky, I'll get to watch.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Visit
Hubby came up here today. Demeter went nuts. She was jumping and wiggling, could not lick him enough, it seems. She was by his side the entire visit, and soooo unhappy when he left.
We went out and picked up lunch. Brought it back to the house and ate on the front porch. Temps in the upper seventies and sunshine made it a perfect place to eat and enjoy.
Afterwords, we sat at the table in the dining room. We talked about everything involved in separating two lives that were once one. His, hers, mine, yours, ours, etc. Anyway, it's more than fair to both of us. We both know what is important to each person, and were willing to make it as amicable as possible. We'll both come out of it alright. Hearts broken, but the rest of it okay.
I only cried once. Promised myself that I wouldn't while he was here. But, even with everything that has happened, the love is still there. It hurts. It hurts to see the end of what was supposed to be forever. It hurts that we are still so close, but cannot work things out, that we never will.
So, we parted on good terms. We have lives to get on with, futures, not together but separate. And, we will. It's going to take awhile to get over him, over us.
I never, ever wanted it to end. I still don't. It wasn't supposed to end like this. All I ever wanted was to love him and make him happy for the rest of our lives........
Somehow, I can't bring myself to push the chair that he sat in back up to the table.
We went out and picked up lunch. Brought it back to the house and ate on the front porch. Temps in the upper seventies and sunshine made it a perfect place to eat and enjoy.
Afterwords, we sat at the table in the dining room. We talked about everything involved in separating two lives that were once one. His, hers, mine, yours, ours, etc. Anyway, it's more than fair to both of us. We both know what is important to each person, and were willing to make it as amicable as possible. We'll both come out of it alright. Hearts broken, but the rest of it okay.
I only cried once. Promised myself that I wouldn't while he was here. But, even with everything that has happened, the love is still there. It hurts. It hurts to see the end of what was supposed to be forever. It hurts that we are still so close, but cannot work things out, that we never will.
So, we parted on good terms. We have lives to get on with, futures, not together but separate. And, we will. It's going to take awhile to get over him, over us.
I never, ever wanted it to end. I still don't. It wasn't supposed to end like this. All I ever wanted was to love him and make him happy for the rest of our lives........
Somehow, I can't bring myself to push the chair that he sat in back up to the table.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Last night of winter
Tired, but not sleepy enough to go to bed. Listening to late night talk shows on one of my few tv channels. Something about this time of night is extremely calming. I enjoy knowing that I've done enough for the day and that it's a time devoted to relaxation.
Rained yesterday, and Demeter has been running in and out, muddy feet everywhere. I've put things on the furniture which can be washed. The battle to keep her off the furniture was lost years ago. She's family, and I won't punish her for enjoying what everyone else does.
I'm learning to enjoy my home. It is a simple, lovely little place. There are many large windows, bringing a lot of light in during the days. Once the trees bud and leaf, the predominant lighting will be a shady green most of the day. I imagine that it will change the way that the house looks and feels.
I'm learning more about my taste in decorating. Setting up my home in ways that I love, without considering the needs or items belonging to others is enlightening. This home reflects who I am. It shows my interests.
There are a lot of antiques and vintage items, books, plants, simple draperies, cozy places to curl up. There are candles, pillows, soft throws, a record player and albums, all used and enjoyed daily. There are touches of whimsy here and there. Things unexpected, not serious, put in places to make me smile when I think of them.
The artwork is somewhat eclectic. There are mainly classic art prints in the living room. The dining room has oils of forests and homes, along with an acrylic portrait of Bela Lugosi. My bedroom contains Jack Vettriano prints, definitely ones not appropriate for the young or close minded. The spare bedroom has oil paintings of the ocean. The kitchen, laundry room and mud room are all little red riding hood and/or big bad wolf prints.
Garfunkel's bowl is on a silver tray, seated upon a low bookcase. There is a sugar bowl with his food inside it next to the tray. There are pieces of Tiara glass next to the tray, as well as a small lamp.
I'm listening to a Petula Clark cd. Songs I've not heard in decades. I'd forgotten how lovely her songs are. Preferring music over than television, I'm being reacquainted with a variety of artists and genre.
I think that Demeter's little friend finally went home. He comes through the fence and is usually waiting for her in the mornings outside the back door. I refuse to let him in, although he is charming when he asks to come in with her.
Hoping I hurt less tomorrow. I want to plant the lilies and ferns that I purchased the other day. I need to buy some postage stamps and mail a few things. Thinking of stopping at the bookstore to say hello to friends, it will feel good to be out of doors.
My former home in Okc was warm. We kept the temperature set in the low 80's. It kept me from hurting so much. Here, it's impossible to keep the temps above the low seventies. Even with the electric fireplace and space heaters, stove burners, and the dryer vented indoors, the house is chilly. And, I hurt, badly. Something else to get used to.
Enough for now.....
Rained yesterday, and Demeter has been running in and out, muddy feet everywhere. I've put things on the furniture which can be washed. The battle to keep her off the furniture was lost years ago. She's family, and I won't punish her for enjoying what everyone else does.
I'm learning to enjoy my home. It is a simple, lovely little place. There are many large windows, bringing a lot of light in during the days. Once the trees bud and leaf, the predominant lighting will be a shady green most of the day. I imagine that it will change the way that the house looks and feels.
I'm learning more about my taste in decorating. Setting up my home in ways that I love, without considering the needs or items belonging to others is enlightening. This home reflects who I am. It shows my interests.
There are a lot of antiques and vintage items, books, plants, simple draperies, cozy places to curl up. There are candles, pillows, soft throws, a record player and albums, all used and enjoyed daily. There are touches of whimsy here and there. Things unexpected, not serious, put in places to make me smile when I think of them.
The artwork is somewhat eclectic. There are mainly classic art prints in the living room. The dining room has oils of forests and homes, along with an acrylic portrait of Bela Lugosi. My bedroom contains Jack Vettriano prints, definitely ones not appropriate for the young or close minded. The spare bedroom has oil paintings of the ocean. The kitchen, laundry room and mud room are all little red riding hood and/or big bad wolf prints.
Garfunkel's bowl is on a silver tray, seated upon a low bookcase. There is a sugar bowl with his food inside it next to the tray. There are pieces of Tiara glass next to the tray, as well as a small lamp.
I'm listening to a Petula Clark cd. Songs I've not heard in decades. I'd forgotten how lovely her songs are. Preferring music over than television, I'm being reacquainted with a variety of artists and genre.
I think that Demeter's little friend finally went home. He comes through the fence and is usually waiting for her in the mornings outside the back door. I refuse to let him in, although he is charming when he asks to come in with her.
Hoping I hurt less tomorrow. I want to plant the lilies and ferns that I purchased the other day. I need to buy some postage stamps and mail a few things. Thinking of stopping at the bookstore to say hello to friends, it will feel good to be out of doors.
My former home in Okc was warm. We kept the temperature set in the low 80's. It kept me from hurting so much. Here, it's impossible to keep the temps above the low seventies. Even with the electric fireplace and space heaters, stove burners, and the dryer vented indoors, the house is chilly. And, I hurt, badly. Something else to get used to.
Enough for now.....
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Weekend.
Worn out this evening. It's the kind of tired that comes from getting a lot accomplished over the last couple of days. Still in pain, and I feel more pain coming, but I'm good.
I've planted all of my bulbs in the front garden, except for the ones I purchased this evening. Flower seed packets are scattered on the dining room table. There are large bags of potting soil in the Mudroom.
Have run errands in stages. Running them in three phases is easier than trying to do everything in one trip. Now, it's all done and I can relax. Took two days, and did it all. Groceries, bookstore, library, haircut, dollar store, and a couple rides.
The house is rearranged, making it easier to get around.
Two new lamps with forty watt bulbs are easier on my eyes than the harsh overhead lighting. Record albums are close by the record player, as are the CDs. Yes, I still play records. Chairs are in locations which will not bark my shins. The printer is now in a location that will not jar me when it fires up.
Finally organized the toolbox. I had them scattered between the box and several baskets. They were sitting all over the kitchen floor, and had been there since the day I moved in. Not many, but they needed to be put away, and a permanent home.
Did my grocery shopping with a friend this evening. As if the cart wasn't completely full, I got waylaid by the Girl Scouts on the way out the door. Five boxes later, I managed my escape. So, if anyone comes over, guess what they'll be snacking on? I'm sure not eating them, too many calories and fat. Still, nice to have them on hand. Oh, and I'm entered in some drawing where the prize is five cases of those suckers. Hope I don't win...
Six years ago today, I adopted Demeter. She was a tiny ball of fluff, starved, covered in hundreds of ticks. For almost a year, she would swipe food from the table, my plate, the counters and even the stove. She was terrified of not having anything available to eat. It took years before she finally understood that she would never, ever go hungry.
The only thing that she ever destroyed was the puppy training book. Oh, and a few pairs of pants being worn by one of my youngest son's friends. While he was wearing them. He took awhile to learn his manners. There is certain behavior that she will not tolerate, ever. Aggression by humans, fighting, etc are things she puts an immediate stop to. No, she did not hurt him, not even a scratch. Well, she did hurt his pride.
She's amazingly clever. She understands commands in three languages. Rarely breaks a rule. Affectionate, loyal, funny. Adores her stuffed babies, and usually puts them back in their basket when she's done playing with them. Won't eat strawberries, loves roast beef more than any other food. She's precious to me.
Tonight, she's fussing about going out. There's a little dog in the neighborhood that she made friends with. She wants to play with it. Never mind that it's dark out, and late, and raining. He can wiggle through the fence, and does. She just wants to romp and get muddy.
So, she's in the backyard. Having fun. She'll come in and I'll towel her off as she prances around, telling me in her own way of the adventure she had.
I can feel my joints crying, the weather is damp and temps are dropping. They'll hurt more before the weather improves. Took Advil instead of a pain pill. Not helping at all.
Think I'll head to bed.....
I've planted all of my bulbs in the front garden, except for the ones I purchased this evening. Flower seed packets are scattered on the dining room table. There are large bags of potting soil in the Mudroom.
Have run errands in stages. Running them in three phases is easier than trying to do everything in one trip. Now, it's all done and I can relax. Took two days, and did it all. Groceries, bookstore, library, haircut, dollar store, and a couple rides.
The house is rearranged, making it easier to get around.
Two new lamps with forty watt bulbs are easier on my eyes than the harsh overhead lighting. Record albums are close by the record player, as are the CDs. Yes, I still play records. Chairs are in locations which will not bark my shins. The printer is now in a location that will not jar me when it fires up.
Finally organized the toolbox. I had them scattered between the box and several baskets. They were sitting all over the kitchen floor, and had been there since the day I moved in. Not many, but they needed to be put away, and a permanent home.
Did my grocery shopping with a friend this evening. As if the cart wasn't completely full, I got waylaid by the Girl Scouts on the way out the door. Five boxes later, I managed my escape. So, if anyone comes over, guess what they'll be snacking on? I'm sure not eating them, too many calories and fat. Still, nice to have them on hand. Oh, and I'm entered in some drawing where the prize is five cases of those suckers. Hope I don't win...
Six years ago today, I adopted Demeter. She was a tiny ball of fluff, starved, covered in hundreds of ticks. For almost a year, she would swipe food from the table, my plate, the counters and even the stove. She was terrified of not having anything available to eat. It took years before she finally understood that she would never, ever go hungry.
The only thing that she ever destroyed was the puppy training book. Oh, and a few pairs of pants being worn by one of my youngest son's friends. While he was wearing them. He took awhile to learn his manners. There is certain behavior that she will not tolerate, ever. Aggression by humans, fighting, etc are things she puts an immediate stop to. No, she did not hurt him, not even a scratch. Well, she did hurt his pride.
She's amazingly clever. She understands commands in three languages. Rarely breaks a rule. Affectionate, loyal, funny. Adores her stuffed babies, and usually puts them back in their basket when she's done playing with them. Won't eat strawberries, loves roast beef more than any other food. She's precious to me.
Tonight, she's fussing about going out. There's a little dog in the neighborhood that she made friends with. She wants to play with it. Never mind that it's dark out, and late, and raining. He can wiggle through the fence, and does. She just wants to romp and get muddy.
So, she's in the backyard. Having fun. She'll come in and I'll towel her off as she prances around, telling me in her own way of the adventure she had.
I can feel my joints crying, the weather is damp and temps are dropping. They'll hurt more before the weather improves. Took Advil instead of a pain pill. Not helping at all.
Think I'll head to bed.....
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Everyday Things
Cold Front came through earlier. Temps have dropped from 84 to 51 degrees. My bones are shrieking. Still, the house is staying warm, and I'm grateful.
Got out for a ride today. Bought picture frames to finish decorating the mudroom. More flower bulbs for the front garden, some groceries, three bunches of carnations, etc. I stopped at the Dari Diner to pick up a burger and fries. When I got home, I let Demeter out on the front porch and we shared the food. She was "bouncing happy".
The flowers are lovely, button carnations. I got a bunch each of red, pink, and white. Came home to discover that, although I received a vase of flowers every other week for a few years, the only one I brought with me was the Waterford crystal that I'd owned long before I met Hubby. So, they're all in the same, small vase. I had to cut them down pretty far so that they would fit. Still, they look and smell lovely. I'm enjoying them, carrying them from room to room with me.
Listening to heavy metal this evening. It's really not my taste, but I am working at broadening my horizons. Tomorrow, another day, another music genre.
I need to caulk windows. The curtains are moving since the high winds arrived with the cold front. I imagine just doing that will go far in keeping me much warmer next winter, with the added bonus of lower utility bills.
I'm still holding my breath, waiting for my first utility bills to arrive. Having been here for a month, I expect them to arrive any day now. With the horrible cold weather this past month, I imagine them to be high.
The front garden is ready to plant. I used my garden weasel to loosen the soil and get it ready. It's my second one, the first one was stolen from my garden, of all places. Great tool, it does a lot of work that I would have to use a shovel and hoe for.
For the front garden I've gotten hyacinths, stargazer lillies, gladiolis, morning glories, evening glories, as well as a wish list of flowers to put there that would fill a botanical garden. Time to weed out the list.
Opening up the house was so sweet today. Feeling the fresh air flowing through the different rooms gave me a great feeling. Sort of a promise of what future spring days would bring.
I'm looking forward to getting the flower beds planted. I want continuous blooms, lovely smells, and gobs of charm. Thinking of hanging boston ferns from the porch rails. Also, I'm mentally laying out the ways I want the climbing vines to grow.
I plan to have the kind of curb appeal that makes me smile everyday. The front porch is large with a gate at the top of the steps. There are flower beds along the front of the porch which wrap around both sides. I have a pair of matching rocking chairs with pillows on either side of a small table. That takes up one side of the porch, the other I plan to place the majority of my houseplants. They should love it there.
I'm about ready for bed. This has been a long day. Nothing world changing, just a lovely day filled with everyday happenings. The kind I look forward to more of.
Got out for a ride today. Bought picture frames to finish decorating the mudroom. More flower bulbs for the front garden, some groceries, three bunches of carnations, etc. I stopped at the Dari Diner to pick up a burger and fries. When I got home, I let Demeter out on the front porch and we shared the food. She was "bouncing happy".
The flowers are lovely, button carnations. I got a bunch each of red, pink, and white. Came home to discover that, although I received a vase of flowers every other week for a few years, the only one I brought with me was the Waterford crystal that I'd owned long before I met Hubby. So, they're all in the same, small vase. I had to cut them down pretty far so that they would fit. Still, they look and smell lovely. I'm enjoying them, carrying them from room to room with me.
Listening to heavy metal this evening. It's really not my taste, but I am working at broadening my horizons. Tomorrow, another day, another music genre.
I need to caulk windows. The curtains are moving since the high winds arrived with the cold front. I imagine just doing that will go far in keeping me much warmer next winter, with the added bonus of lower utility bills.
I'm still holding my breath, waiting for my first utility bills to arrive. Having been here for a month, I expect them to arrive any day now. With the horrible cold weather this past month, I imagine them to be high.
The front garden is ready to plant. I used my garden weasel to loosen the soil and get it ready. It's my second one, the first one was stolen from my garden, of all places. Great tool, it does a lot of work that I would have to use a shovel and hoe for.
For the front garden I've gotten hyacinths, stargazer lillies, gladiolis, morning glories, evening glories, as well as a wish list of flowers to put there that would fill a botanical garden. Time to weed out the list.
Opening up the house was so sweet today. Feeling the fresh air flowing through the different rooms gave me a great feeling. Sort of a promise of what future spring days would bring.
I'm looking forward to getting the flower beds planted. I want continuous blooms, lovely smells, and gobs of charm. Thinking of hanging boston ferns from the porch rails. Also, I'm mentally laying out the ways I want the climbing vines to grow.
I plan to have the kind of curb appeal that makes me smile everyday. The front porch is large with a gate at the top of the steps. There are flower beds along the front of the porch which wrap around both sides. I have a pair of matching rocking chairs with pillows on either side of a small table. That takes up one side of the porch, the other I plan to place the majority of my houseplants. They should love it there.
I'm about ready for bed. This has been a long day. Nothing world changing, just a lovely day filled with everyday happenings. The kind I look forward to more of.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Warm temps change my world
Better today. I slept twelve hours, took a pain pill at each end of the sleep, still awoke in pain, but feel better. Warmer temps are making a difference.
Dirty dishes are soaking in the sink. I dislike having a home which is not spotless. Dishes and dusting are the only indoor chores on my list. Cleaning the yard is my outdoor chore.
As much as I love a clean environment, I refuse to be ruled by have-to's. No more than an hour daily is devoted to housekeeping. Usually, it takes forty minutes or less.
Later....
Housework done, dog poop cleaned up, front garden mostly dug up and ready, dining table covered with plant bulbs and seeds, etc. Oh, and the best part..... A nap was taken in one of the patio chairs. An eighty degree day was magic. It felt so wonderful to be outside, to enjoy sunshine and fresh air.
Tomorrow, I plan to get out for a ride. Get a few groceries, buy some more picture frames. Definitely plan to buy some flowers. I miss having fresh cut flowers in the house. I want to see and smell them. I will get them because they please me, and because I deserve them.
Before Hubby and I got together, I bought my own flowers weekly. I considered it a mental health expense. They made me happy. So, I'll start buying them again. Plus, it will be fun walking or riding home with them.
Instead of the roses and stargazer lillies, I may get carnations. The spicy smell of them permeates the house, and they're cheerful.
I'm surviving. Better yet, I'm doing alright. Not back to where I want to be, but I'll get there.
Dirty dishes are soaking in the sink. I dislike having a home which is not spotless. Dishes and dusting are the only indoor chores on my list. Cleaning the yard is my outdoor chore.
As much as I love a clean environment, I refuse to be ruled by have-to's. No more than an hour daily is devoted to housekeeping. Usually, it takes forty minutes or less.
Later....
Housework done, dog poop cleaned up, front garden mostly dug up and ready, dining table covered with plant bulbs and seeds, etc. Oh, and the best part..... A nap was taken in one of the patio chairs. An eighty degree day was magic. It felt so wonderful to be outside, to enjoy sunshine and fresh air.
Tomorrow, I plan to get out for a ride. Get a few groceries, buy some more picture frames. Definitely plan to buy some flowers. I miss having fresh cut flowers in the house. I want to see and smell them. I will get them because they please me, and because I deserve them.
Before Hubby and I got together, I bought my own flowers weekly. I considered it a mental health expense. They made me happy. So, I'll start buying them again. Plus, it will be fun walking or riding home with them.
Instead of the roses and stargazer lillies, I may get carnations. The spicy smell of them permeates the house, and they're cheerful.
I'm surviving. Better yet, I'm doing alright. Not back to where I want to be, but I'll get there.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Thoughts.....
Friday.....
Got out and rode for a bit. Stopped by the library for more audiobooks. Hit the dollar store for picture frames and flower bulbs. It felt great to be outdoors.
Picked up a few groceries when I was out. Healthy stuff, not what makes my mouth water and my hips wider.... Thought of stopping for a fast food meal. Decided to reward myself when I get out next week instead. Perhaps a restaurant meal, the kind with real flatware and dishes not made from styrofoam...
Half a dozen people stopped me to ask questions about the etrike. What really hooks them is the fact that a nickel's worth of electricity will let you go thirty miles. With that idea in mind, I get the feeling I'll be seeing more of them around town.
Wishing I was at uncle AJ's funeral today. I miss being able to drive. The family I have here has no connection to the family I have in the Okc area, so I didn't feel right asking for a ride. Hubby didn't offer to take me. I get it. It's his family, and I'm no longer welcome as part of it. At least, not by him.
Tonight, I'll watch a movie. Just snuggle up in a blanket, get cozy and enjoy. I have a stack of them to see.
The house cooled from 76 to 64 degrees in about thirty minutes. I checked the doors and windows. There's no reason for it to have happened. The temps outdoors only dropped one degree. I cranked up the heat, and think I'll go ahead and put together the electric fireplace.
Neat fireplace, it really puts out the heat. Took several hours to put it together. Guessing I did it correctly, it works. Couldn't make out the drawings or pics of which parts were which, so I had to guess.
Sunday....
Supposed to go visit family and friends in Broken Arrow this afternoon. The arthritis monster has other ideas for me. Tears, pain, pain pills, soaking in the hot bathtub, curling up in blankets in front of the furnace. Pain that never really goes away on the worse days. I stay in my spot, hoping the pain pill will work better than usual, knowing there is another ten hours before I can take another. Moving cautiously because the pain pill makes me dizzy. Dizzier than the damaged balance center in my left ear makes me.
This has been a pain filled week. Usually two or three pain filled days follow a good day. This time, the pain goes on and on. I think most of it has to do with the damp and cold temperatures. Rarely being warm enough in a body which is ruled by the thermometer and barometric pressure.
I do alright in warm and hot temps. The pain is a rare visitor then, the bad days are few. I go long periods of time without needing anything for pain at all.
In many ways, the arthritis is far worse than the eye disease, the cyst in my brain, and the vestibular damage in my ear. I can function with the low or no vision, depending on the light levels. I can handle the headaches and screwed up sleep cycles. I expect being off balance and the vertigo which comes and goes. But, when the pain is here, it is an ongoing nightmare. I even feel it in my sleep.
Is it too much to get a pain pill that is effective enough to keep pain down to a dull roar? One that does not cause dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain, a fuzzy brain, and other nightmare side effects. One I can still take with the grapefruit juice that keeps me healthy. One that comes in a generic form, or at a reasonable price. How hard is it to really treat pain?
When Mom was dying last year of cancer and COPD, her so called pain specialist up in Ohio cut her off from her pain medication. He demanded she see a shrink for her pain to ensure it was real. The letter demanding she bring in proof from the shrink was dated just a couple of weeks before her death. She also had damaged nerves in her back, legs and feet. So severe her feet were twisted. And, the creep, because that's all I can bring myself to call him, cut her off.
My pain is severe some days. Nothing compared to what a Mom went through. But it still keeps me from functioning some days.
Why is it that doctors are scared of treating pain? Mom wasn't going to become an addict. She was dying. She did die. She had medication that wasn't effective, and the minimal dosage, and she spent her last months counting the hours until she could knock the pain down for a bit with the next dose. The pain kept her from sleeping, from enjoying the short amount of time she had left, from functioning as a human being. There was no dignity in her death, it was just, finally relief from unending agony.
Enough for now.......
Got out and rode for a bit. Stopped by the library for more audiobooks. Hit the dollar store for picture frames and flower bulbs. It felt great to be outdoors.
Picked up a few groceries when I was out. Healthy stuff, not what makes my mouth water and my hips wider.... Thought of stopping for a fast food meal. Decided to reward myself when I get out next week instead. Perhaps a restaurant meal, the kind with real flatware and dishes not made from styrofoam...
Half a dozen people stopped me to ask questions about the etrike. What really hooks them is the fact that a nickel's worth of electricity will let you go thirty miles. With that idea in mind, I get the feeling I'll be seeing more of them around town.
Wishing I was at uncle AJ's funeral today. I miss being able to drive. The family I have here has no connection to the family I have in the Okc area, so I didn't feel right asking for a ride. Hubby didn't offer to take me. I get it. It's his family, and I'm no longer welcome as part of it. At least, not by him.
Tonight, I'll watch a movie. Just snuggle up in a blanket, get cozy and enjoy. I have a stack of them to see.
The house cooled from 76 to 64 degrees in about thirty minutes. I checked the doors and windows. There's no reason for it to have happened. The temps outdoors only dropped one degree. I cranked up the heat, and think I'll go ahead and put together the electric fireplace.
Neat fireplace, it really puts out the heat. Took several hours to put it together. Guessing I did it correctly, it works. Couldn't make out the drawings or pics of which parts were which, so I had to guess.
Sunday....
Supposed to go visit family and friends in Broken Arrow this afternoon. The arthritis monster has other ideas for me. Tears, pain, pain pills, soaking in the hot bathtub, curling up in blankets in front of the furnace. Pain that never really goes away on the worse days. I stay in my spot, hoping the pain pill will work better than usual, knowing there is another ten hours before I can take another. Moving cautiously because the pain pill makes me dizzy. Dizzier than the damaged balance center in my left ear makes me.
This has been a pain filled week. Usually two or three pain filled days follow a good day. This time, the pain goes on and on. I think most of it has to do with the damp and cold temperatures. Rarely being warm enough in a body which is ruled by the thermometer and barometric pressure.
I do alright in warm and hot temps. The pain is a rare visitor then, the bad days are few. I go long periods of time without needing anything for pain at all.
In many ways, the arthritis is far worse than the eye disease, the cyst in my brain, and the vestibular damage in my ear. I can function with the low or no vision, depending on the light levels. I can handle the headaches and screwed up sleep cycles. I expect being off balance and the vertigo which comes and goes. But, when the pain is here, it is an ongoing nightmare. I even feel it in my sleep.
Is it too much to get a pain pill that is effective enough to keep pain down to a dull roar? One that does not cause dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain, a fuzzy brain, and other nightmare side effects. One I can still take with the grapefruit juice that keeps me healthy. One that comes in a generic form, or at a reasonable price. How hard is it to really treat pain?
When Mom was dying last year of cancer and COPD, her so called pain specialist up in Ohio cut her off from her pain medication. He demanded she see a shrink for her pain to ensure it was real. The letter demanding she bring in proof from the shrink was dated just a couple of weeks before her death. She also had damaged nerves in her back, legs and feet. So severe her feet were twisted. And, the creep, because that's all I can bring myself to call him, cut her off.
My pain is severe some days. Nothing compared to what a Mom went through. But it still keeps me from functioning some days.
Why is it that doctors are scared of treating pain? Mom wasn't going to become an addict. She was dying. She did die. She had medication that wasn't effective, and the minimal dosage, and she spent her last months counting the hours until she could knock the pain down for a bit with the next dose. The pain kept her from sleeping, from enjoying the short amount of time she had left, from functioning as a human being. There was no dignity in her death, it was just, finally relief from unending agony.
Enough for now.......
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Thursday Night...
The puppy didn't make it. Too small, too weak. Shame, she was a pretty little one. She did spend most of her too short life cuddled and being loved. No one, even an animal, should ever have to die alone.
Feeling better today, my bones and joints are still aching. Still, it could be the horrendous pain that the worst days bring. You know the pain, the pain that settles in within hours of a bone break. The pain that returns when it's cold and damp, reminding you that, sometimes your own body can be your enemy.
The electric fireplace arrived today. Now, to figure out how to put it together. It came as five boxes of stuff, along with big pieces in two big boxes. Thank goodness the cold weather has mostly passed. I should not have need of it until next winter.
The space heaters also arrived. That's a future worry crossed off my list. I like to be prepared for unexpected things. I dislike even the idea of having to run out and get things when snowstorms come. I prefer to stay stocked up on things like food, toilet paper, candles and batteries.
Tomorrow promises temperatures in the sixties. I plan to get out of the house as soon as it's warm. I need to make a trip to the library. Perhaps stop in at FOTL Book Shop. Definitely get a fountain drink somewhere. Just being out of the house for an hour or so will be good. Then, I'll come home and clean dog poop out of the yard. After all, I do have to take advantage of a warm March day.
Tonight, I've just been thinking awhile. About where my life is, where it's going, how I wish my life to be, and how to make it that way. I have limitations, and I'm learning to work around them. I'm adapting how I do things in order to be as independent as possible. I may have to depend on others for some things, but in the end, I have to be able to rely on myself.
Enough for now......
Feeling better today, my bones and joints are still aching. Still, it could be the horrendous pain that the worst days bring. You know the pain, the pain that settles in within hours of a bone break. The pain that returns when it's cold and damp, reminding you that, sometimes your own body can be your enemy.
The electric fireplace arrived today. Now, to figure out how to put it together. It came as five boxes of stuff, along with big pieces in two big boxes. Thank goodness the cold weather has mostly passed. I should not have need of it until next winter.
The space heaters also arrived. That's a future worry crossed off my list. I like to be prepared for unexpected things. I dislike even the idea of having to run out and get things when snowstorms come. I prefer to stay stocked up on things like food, toilet paper, candles and batteries.
Tomorrow promises temperatures in the sixties. I plan to get out of the house as soon as it's warm. I need to make a trip to the library. Perhaps stop in at FOTL Book Shop. Definitely get a fountain drink somewhere. Just being out of the house for an hour or so will be good. Then, I'll come home and clean dog poop out of the yard. After all, I do have to take advantage of a warm March day.
Tonight, I've just been thinking awhile. About where my life is, where it's going, how I wish my life to be, and how to make it that way. I have limitations, and I'm learning to work around them. I'm adapting how I do things in order to be as independent as possible. I may have to depend on others for some things, but in the end, I have to be able to rely on myself.
Enough for now......
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Great news, new things and a tiny visitor
...
Heard from my closest friend on earth this morning. She's finally out of the hospital, and able to talk without wearing out. She loved the flowers and art supplies. She loves, even more, getting a second chance at life. I miss her so much, she's part of me. Hearing her voice was one of the happiest moments in my life.
Still feeling bad, but itching for something to do. I took a wire brush that Demeter dislikes and put it to good use. I've been sitting on the living and dining room floors restoring the nap to the carpeting. A lot of it is solidly matted, grotesque and nasty. The living room is done. There is about a third of the dining room left to do. I took the vacuum and used it in the living room after working in there. Sucked up three full canisters of filth with it. Yuck!
My sister is bringing me a newborn puppy. It's the runt of nine born earlier today. Too weak to suck, too small to work it's way up to it's mom. I'm planning to tuck it in my top to keep it warm, and bottle feed it.
She's a nurse working twelve hour shifts an hour from here, so she's unable to bottle feed it. I have the time, as well as the ability to cuddle a newborn. Hope the little one makes it. Teresa has her doubts, but it's worth a try.
My brother-in-law is coming over tomorrow. He's bringing more movies, as well as a chart showing what order to watch the Marvel movies. I have some of them, he's loaning me the ones I do not have in my collection. Between us, we have all of them except IronMan III.
My Vettriano print arrived from London today. It's beautiful, so much better full size than the images I had seen of it in books over the years. Now to get a frame..... It will be perfect hung over the bed.
Good day so far. I still feel awful, but overall, I'm alright. Keeping busy to try and get past the pain.
The puppy is here, tucked inside my cashmere sweater. I got it to drink a little from a tiny syringe. It's smaller than my hand. I know, I'm just helping someone out. Don't get attached, don't fall in love with it, don't ask to keep it, etc.
Demeter is in love with the puppy. She's drooling, worrying every time she hears the tiny one squeak. She's glued to my side. She tucks her nose into the v-neck of my sweater to sniff the baby every chance she gets. She has yet to lick the puppy, but I bet it happens soon.
Heard from my closest friend on earth this morning. She's finally out of the hospital, and able to talk without wearing out. She loved the flowers and art supplies. She loves, even more, getting a second chance at life. I miss her so much, she's part of me. Hearing her voice was one of the happiest moments in my life.
Still feeling bad, but itching for something to do. I took a wire brush that Demeter dislikes and put it to good use. I've been sitting on the living and dining room floors restoring the nap to the carpeting. A lot of it is solidly matted, grotesque and nasty. The living room is done. There is about a third of the dining room left to do. I took the vacuum and used it in the living room after working in there. Sucked up three full canisters of filth with it. Yuck!
My sister is bringing me a newborn puppy. It's the runt of nine born earlier today. Too weak to suck, too small to work it's way up to it's mom. I'm planning to tuck it in my top to keep it warm, and bottle feed it.
She's a nurse working twelve hour shifts an hour from here, so she's unable to bottle feed it. I have the time, as well as the ability to cuddle a newborn. Hope the little one makes it. Teresa has her doubts, but it's worth a try.
My brother-in-law is coming over tomorrow. He's bringing more movies, as well as a chart showing what order to watch the Marvel movies. I have some of them, he's loaning me the ones I do not have in my collection. Between us, we have all of them except IronMan III.
My Vettriano print arrived from London today. It's beautiful, so much better full size than the images I had seen of it in books over the years. Now to get a frame..... It will be perfect hung over the bed.
Good day so far. I still feel awful, but overall, I'm alright. Keeping busy to try and get past the pain.
The puppy is here, tucked inside my cashmere sweater. I got it to drink a little from a tiny syringe. It's smaller than my hand. I know, I'm just helping someone out. Don't get attached, don't fall in love with it, don't ask to keep it, etc.
Demeter is in love with the puppy. She's drooling, worrying every time she hears the tiny one squeak. She's glued to my side. She tucks her nose into the v-neck of my sweater to sniff the baby every chance she gets. She has yet to lick the puppy, but I bet it happens soon.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Tuesday
I ordered an electric fireplace and a couple space heaters. Even though it will be much warmer when they arrive, it will be nice to have them next winter. I don't ever want to be this cold again. Having to wear multiple pairs of heavy men's socks is unacceptable.
I'm so ready for spring. Warm weather is something I miss greatly. I keep thinking of what I'd like to plant in the flower beds in the front yard. It will be shady most of the day. Since the house is white with gray trim, I'd like to go with purple plants and flowers. Japanese ferns, Persian shields, purple basil, purple and pink impatiens, etc.
This morning is warmer than it has been in the past few days. 27 when I checked. Finally, we're past the cold weather nightmare.
I've been here less than a month. In some ways it feels as though I've been here much longer. My home is set up. I can find most things easily. With other items, I just sigh and say, eventually.... Light switches hang me up, I know they're there, just not where.
It's a lovely home. Just because I can't see what my things look like doesn't mean I cannot remember each piece. I want to live in a beautiful place, to know my surroundings suit me.
Another death in the family. A relative died yesterday after shoveling snow. My heart is broken for my husband, his Aunt, and the rest of the family. Hubby and I have been messaging back and forth over it.
Today, I plan to do as little as possible. I awoke crying in pain due to arthritis acting up. Moving around and walking hurts my joints and bones dreadfully. Every bone I've ever broken, each damaged joint is shrieking. Taking a pain pill was a lesson in futility. I'm curling up on the love seat with breaks to soak in the tub until I feel better.
Many days, I can get along without pain pills. I still hurt, but can function as long as I'm careful. Other days, I just try to survive until the next dose. Worse, the pills take the edge off, not much more. I've rarely been pain free since 2001.
A good day where I can function balances out with many bad days. Good days are to be taken advantage of so life doesn't fall apart completely. The bad days come, whether or not I do anything on a good day. Sad, but I've learned to navigate through by keeping lists of everything which must be done, and then busting through it.
What's sad is that bad days are not laziness. I want to do things. I want to go places. I want a life where I can do what I want and need to do, when I want to.
I'm so ready for spring. Warm weather is something I miss greatly. I keep thinking of what I'd like to plant in the flower beds in the front yard. It will be shady most of the day. Since the house is white with gray trim, I'd like to go with purple plants and flowers. Japanese ferns, Persian shields, purple basil, purple and pink impatiens, etc.
This morning is warmer than it has been in the past few days. 27 when I checked. Finally, we're past the cold weather nightmare.
I've been here less than a month. In some ways it feels as though I've been here much longer. My home is set up. I can find most things easily. With other items, I just sigh and say, eventually.... Light switches hang me up, I know they're there, just not where.
It's a lovely home. Just because I can't see what my things look like doesn't mean I cannot remember each piece. I want to live in a beautiful place, to know my surroundings suit me.
Another death in the family. A relative died yesterday after shoveling snow. My heart is broken for my husband, his Aunt, and the rest of the family. Hubby and I have been messaging back and forth over it.
Today, I plan to do as little as possible. I awoke crying in pain due to arthritis acting up. Moving around and walking hurts my joints and bones dreadfully. Every bone I've ever broken, each damaged joint is shrieking. Taking a pain pill was a lesson in futility. I'm curling up on the love seat with breaks to soak in the tub until I feel better.
Many days, I can get along without pain pills. I still hurt, but can function as long as I'm careful. Other days, I just try to survive until the next dose. Worse, the pills take the edge off, not much more. I've rarely been pain free since 2001.
A good day where I can function balances out with many bad days. Good days are to be taken advantage of so life doesn't fall apart completely. The bad days come, whether or not I do anything on a good day. Sad, but I've learned to navigate through by keeping lists of everything which must be done, and then busting through it.
What's sad is that bad days are not laziness. I want to do things. I want to go places. I want a life where I can do what I want and need to do, when I want to.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Cold and lonely
12 degrees outside. My peek at the outdoors while letting Demeter outside shows some light snow. Dreading the thought of getting out in order to drag the trash can to the curb. I did step out to toss ice melt on the steps and sidewalks.
Two rooms closed off, blankets over exterior and unused doors, three stove burners on, clothes dryer on and vented indoors, one space heater. All of that, plus the furnace running full blast gets the indoor temp up to almost seventy degrees.
I'm bundled up, including a pair of socks that make my feet look as though they're in a pair of clown shoes. Still cold. Not looking forward to the first heating bill in the mail. I'm betting it will be a monster.
Then again, I'm a hedonist, pure and simple. Being warm makes me happy and content. So, if it takes a big heating bill to keep me happy, so be it.
Actually, could only get the house above seventy for a brief time. It's been hovering around sixty four to sixty eight degrees in here. I'm grateful it's this warm indoors.
Playing movies my brother-in-law brought me this week. So far, I've watched Pometheus, Up, Dredd, Oz The Great And Powerful, Escape From Planet Earth, and now have Spider-Man in. He brought a huge variety. I put in Chicago last night, just to hear the show tunes. Too much worshipping the square god, as my sister-in-law refers to watching television.
Sleeting hard today. One of my relatives stopped by with a space heater. Now, I don't need to rely on stove burners to keep pipes from bursting.
Things I did not have to worry about when I lived with a husband. Being warm was one. It's lonely here, in a way that I never thought I never would be. Demeter is here. She's been my companion for six years. Cannot imagine life without her.
I miss my husband. I miss our cat, Layla, too. I miss hearing her lick my husband's chin at night as he slept. I miss hearing his voice, his companionship. Knowing he's in the next room at his desk when he's home. I miss having someone close by.
It's quiet here. I play music to block the lack of noise. After years of parkway sounds, hearing sirens and air traffic, it's quiet. During the day, there are birds singing. At night, I know I'm in quiet place. An occasional auto is all which can be heard through the walls.
Two rooms closed off, blankets over exterior and unused doors, three stove burners on, clothes dryer on and vented indoors, one space heater. All of that, plus the furnace running full blast gets the indoor temp up to almost seventy degrees.
I'm bundled up, including a pair of socks that make my feet look as though they're in a pair of clown shoes. Still cold. Not looking forward to the first heating bill in the mail. I'm betting it will be a monster.
Then again, I'm a hedonist, pure and simple. Being warm makes me happy and content. So, if it takes a big heating bill to keep me happy, so be it.
Actually, could only get the house above seventy for a brief time. It's been hovering around sixty four to sixty eight degrees in here. I'm grateful it's this warm indoors.
Playing movies my brother-in-law brought me this week. So far, I've watched Pometheus, Up, Dredd, Oz The Great And Powerful, Escape From Planet Earth, and now have Spider-Man in. He brought a huge variety. I put in Chicago last night, just to hear the show tunes. Too much worshipping the square god, as my sister-in-law refers to watching television.
Sleeting hard today. One of my relatives stopped by with a space heater. Now, I don't need to rely on stove burners to keep pipes from bursting.
Things I did not have to worry about when I lived with a husband. Being warm was one. It's lonely here, in a way that I never thought I never would be. Demeter is here. She's been my companion for six years. Cannot imagine life without her.
I miss my husband. I miss our cat, Layla, too. I miss hearing her lick my husband's chin at night as he slept. I miss hearing his voice, his companionship. Knowing he's in the next room at his desk when he's home. I miss having someone close by.
It's quiet here. I play music to block the lack of noise. After years of parkway sounds, hearing sirens and air traffic, it's quiet. During the day, there are birds singing. At night, I know I'm in quiet place. An occasional auto is all which can be heard through the walls.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Saturday and Bad Weather Coming
Got out for awhile and stopped by the Friends Of The Library Book Store. Same folks there, we spent a couple of hours playing catchup. I found some children's books, a coffee table book devoted to the sixties, a couple of Red Riding Hoods to add to my collection, etc. Much fun, a lot of laughter.
I've missed being in a small town. I'm now caught up on a lot of the comings and goings. I have friends here, many more than I realized, and it feels great.
Stopped at the store I used to manage to grab a soda while I was out. Got hit on by a couple of young men. My guess is under thirty years old. It was fun to smile and chat for a few minutes, to be flirted with. Still not ready to date, but those men were good for my ego.
We have an ice storm followed by a few inches of snow coming tonight. We're expecting temps in the teens and single digits over the next few days. Wind chills will be in the minus teens. I'm not going out until later in the week when we should be back in the fifty to seventy range.
My preparations included charging every rechargeable battery and everything that can be charged up. I brought the ice melt in from the garage. The plants are in the kitchen and dining room since the Mudroom is not heated. Blankets and extra curtains are hung over doorways. I made certain I could easily get to kerosene lamps and candles. Plenty of groceries, pet food, toilet paper, etc on hand. I'm as prepared as I can be. My space heater is in the bathroom, unplugged. The clothes dryer vent is detached from the wall so it can be used as a heat source. The water pipes in the laundry room are in outside walls. I have no doubt that using the dryer as a heat source will be necessary.
Ready for winter to be over. I'm tired of being cold. Tired of sleeping in clothes. Tired of chapped hands and lips, a red nose, and hair that is demented in this weather.
Come on spring!
I've missed being in a small town. I'm now caught up on a lot of the comings and goings. I have friends here, many more than I realized, and it feels great.
Stopped at the store I used to manage to grab a soda while I was out. Got hit on by a couple of young men. My guess is under thirty years old. It was fun to smile and chat for a few minutes, to be flirted with. Still not ready to date, but those men were good for my ego.
We have an ice storm followed by a few inches of snow coming tonight. We're expecting temps in the teens and single digits over the next few days. Wind chills will be in the minus teens. I'm not going out until later in the week when we should be back in the fifty to seventy range.
My preparations included charging every rechargeable battery and everything that can be charged up. I brought the ice melt in from the garage. The plants are in the kitchen and dining room since the Mudroom is not heated. Blankets and extra curtains are hung over doorways. I made certain I could easily get to kerosene lamps and candles. Plenty of groceries, pet food, toilet paper, etc on hand. I'm as prepared as I can be. My space heater is in the bathroom, unplugged. The clothes dryer vent is detached from the wall so it can be used as a heat source. The water pipes in the laundry room are in outside walls. I have no doubt that using the dryer as a heat source will be necessary.
Ready for winter to be over. I'm tired of being cold. Tired of sleeping in clothes. Tired of chapped hands and lips, a red nose, and hair that is demented in this weather.
Come on spring!
Friday, February 28, 2014
Friday Evening.....
New thing...
Looking in the general direction the sun is, whites out everything. Like, looking east in the morning or west in the afternoon. It's all gone. Sunglasses make no difference, even using my darkest ones. I can function when it's overcast, by wearing a hat with a huge brim, staying in the shade, or by just looking at the ground when I'm outdoors. Can't see much, but better than nothing.
Still so much to do. I'm trying to pace myself, stopping to do things I enjoy from time to time. I listened to the movie "The Music Man" while exercising and on the treadmill. I curled up in the chair by the tv to catch the Survivor premiere tonight.
Friday will be in the sixties, followed by cold weather and possibly an ice storm. Starting to feel cooped up, so Friday will be the day to get out.
My cinnamon tree arrived today. It's lovely, just a foot or so tall, gorgeous leaves, healthy. The box was stuffed with styrofoam peanuts and a big hand warmer type pack. It's made to keep things warm for up to sixty hours. What a clever idea! I used to keep heat packs in the car when I used to drive for winter weather. I would not have thought of using them for that.
Tonight I'm listening to classic country music, tomorrow will be all Celtic music, haven't decided on the next day's music genre. I'm trying to mix it up and broaden my horizons. Being in a couple of long term relationships where my partners listened to the seventie's music all the time was a bit stifling. Great music, don't get me wrong, but there are centuries of music being ignored when one sticks with a single decade's worth of tunes.
Lost two more pounds. I think that's thirteen or fourteen pounds since the eighth of this month. Need to eat more. I don't mind losing weight, but I want it to be a healthy loss.
Friday evening....
Shopped with my brother-in-law today. Climbing into his huge truck was a chore, his floorboard is crotch-high on me, no running boards. He returned movies, borrowed more, brought me a dozen from his collection as well as some Celtic music.
I bought fresh spinach. Got home to discover I forgot to bring salad dressing from Okc. So much for salad tonight.
This evening, I'm putting artwork in frames. Most family photos are stored in a closet. Somehow, I'm having trouble wanting to put them on display. Just my frame of mind at the moment, it will change eventually.
Tried to order a print from a London gallery, and was declined. Had to go up the food chain at my bank to find someone to allow an overseas purchase. Very nice gentleman, he unblocked my account for twenty four hours so I could shop. The print was shipped out today, now I'm anxiously awaiting it's arrival.
The print is by Jack Vettriano, one of my favorite artists. I've drooled over his works for years, collected a few of his prints and most of his books. I cannot see much at all, but I want that print. I want to get up close with my magnifying glass and enjoy it each and every day as long as I have even a tiny bit of sight left. Once I cannot make it out any longer, I will still know it's there and what it looks like, and will enjoy the memory of it.
Heard from my youngest today. He's on his National Guard weekend at camp Gruber. With an ice storm, followed by several inches of snow coming Sunday morning, I have no idea how they will get home on Sunday evening. At least Okc won't have it as bad as my area of the state. Still, I'm glad I got him a AAA membership as part of his Christmas.
Finally got internet yesterday. It feels good to be reconnected to the world again. Spent hours updating operating systems, so that chore is done.
Enough for now....
Looking in the general direction the sun is, whites out everything. Like, looking east in the morning or west in the afternoon. It's all gone. Sunglasses make no difference, even using my darkest ones. I can function when it's overcast, by wearing a hat with a huge brim, staying in the shade, or by just looking at the ground when I'm outdoors. Can't see much, but better than nothing.
Still so much to do. I'm trying to pace myself, stopping to do things I enjoy from time to time. I listened to the movie "The Music Man" while exercising and on the treadmill. I curled up in the chair by the tv to catch the Survivor premiere tonight.
Friday will be in the sixties, followed by cold weather and possibly an ice storm. Starting to feel cooped up, so Friday will be the day to get out.
My cinnamon tree arrived today. It's lovely, just a foot or so tall, gorgeous leaves, healthy. The box was stuffed with styrofoam peanuts and a big hand warmer type pack. It's made to keep things warm for up to sixty hours. What a clever idea! I used to keep heat packs in the car when I used to drive for winter weather. I would not have thought of using them for that.
Tonight I'm listening to classic country music, tomorrow will be all Celtic music, haven't decided on the next day's music genre. I'm trying to mix it up and broaden my horizons. Being in a couple of long term relationships where my partners listened to the seventie's music all the time was a bit stifling. Great music, don't get me wrong, but there are centuries of music being ignored when one sticks with a single decade's worth of tunes.
Lost two more pounds. I think that's thirteen or fourteen pounds since the eighth of this month. Need to eat more. I don't mind losing weight, but I want it to be a healthy loss.
Friday evening....
Shopped with my brother-in-law today. Climbing into his huge truck was a chore, his floorboard is crotch-high on me, no running boards. He returned movies, borrowed more, brought me a dozen from his collection as well as some Celtic music.
I bought fresh spinach. Got home to discover I forgot to bring salad dressing from Okc. So much for salad tonight.
This evening, I'm putting artwork in frames. Most family photos are stored in a closet. Somehow, I'm having trouble wanting to put them on display. Just my frame of mind at the moment, it will change eventually.
Tried to order a print from a London gallery, and was declined. Had to go up the food chain at my bank to find someone to allow an overseas purchase. Very nice gentleman, he unblocked my account for twenty four hours so I could shop. The print was shipped out today, now I'm anxiously awaiting it's arrival.
The print is by Jack Vettriano, one of my favorite artists. I've drooled over his works for years, collected a few of his prints and most of his books. I cannot see much at all, but I want that print. I want to get up close with my magnifying glass and enjoy it each and every day as long as I have even a tiny bit of sight left. Once I cannot make it out any longer, I will still know it's there and what it looks like, and will enjoy the memory of it.
Heard from my youngest today. He's on his National Guard weekend at camp Gruber. With an ice storm, followed by several inches of snow coming Sunday morning, I have no idea how they will get home on Sunday evening. At least Okc won't have it as bad as my area of the state. Still, I'm glad I got him a AAA membership as part of his Christmas.
Finally got internet yesterday. It feels good to be reconnected to the world again. Spent hours updating operating systems, so that chore is done.
Enough for now....
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Ongoing life
Friday...
On the loveseat, curled up with Demeter. Apparently her dreams are exciting ones. Her feet are twitching to beat the band, she's also making funny growls.
Passenger is playing on the radio. Happy coincidence, I ordered one of their CDs earlier this evening. I'm looking forward to hearing more of their music.
Another brother-in-law came over this evening. I last saw him at thanksgiving. He's a real sweetheart. I mentioned that there was a dining table on my wish list. Within seconds he was on the phone arranging to have a spare one that he has in storage delivered. We had a great visit. we've been relatives since 1989. Long time as family, just as long as friends. I've been blessed with some amazing people who have become part of my life.
Speaking of, ran into an old friend earlier today when I was out. We were delighted to discover that we live across the street from each other. I love that about small towns, you find friends everywhere.
Got a number of things crossed off my list. Picked up a couple of boudoir lamps for the bedroom. Bought drapery rods, drapes, and a welcome mat for the front door. Put Garfunkel in the spare fishbowl so I can wash his big one. Stopped at the library and renewed my library card. I was still on file. After four years.... Grabbed a couple of their audiobooks. Checked my lottery numbers, doggone it. Took a lovely nap snuggled with Demeter. Ate the rest of the baba Ghanouj, sharing with my beastie.
Tonight, I'm enjoying my home. I'm putting the list of things I should be and need to be doing on hold for the night. I have a box of good chocolate, and am ignoring the calorie count. I'm listening to a little radio station out of Bartlesville, Oklahoma.
I've been busting my butt for months, and am ready for a break. Friends are traveling to Florida for the month of April. They want another person to go. I'm tempted, seriously. We used to go to a lake house one of them had during the 80's. We'd travel there for a week or more at a time. We had a lot of fun together.
The center of the dining room is procrastination central. It's piles of paperwork, new files and file folders. I'm waiting for bad weather to hit so I'm stuck inside and have to tackle it. Same for the toolbox and baskets of tools to put away. In February, indoor chores are ignored when it's nice enough to go outside.
Saturday.....
Backhanded a door frame while mopping. White walls, trim, floor, appliances, and cabinets are too much white. My lack of sight needs contrasting colors in order to function. Even in daylight, I have to reach to find door frames and cabinets. It all blends into one mass. The Mudroom and Laundry rooms open off the kitchen. They're all white also. I've got to decorate them with some pops of color so I can use things as landmarks.
The dining room table is here. I had to laugh when I saw it. Other than the top being a different wood, it's identical to the one on my amazon wish list.
Monday...
Don't think it's broken. I can move it. The bruising and swelling goes from the wrist to the second knuckles, front and back of the hand.
The plumbing decided to back up this morning. Turned out it was tree roots, a lot of them. Thank goodness for having landlords who take care of things quickly. Still have one bath sheet to wash. It took all of them to mop up the main mess. One pair of shoes in the trash from walking in it while cleaning it all up. Mopping the bathroom was on today's list, but not like that.
Wednesday.....
Another brother-in-law came over. We ate pizza, drank coffee and talked for over four hours. He raided my movie collection, and then called to find out what I wanted to borrow from his collection. He also brought me half a dozen movies just to get me started.
Word that I'm back without a spouse has gotten around town. I'm getting hit on already. Sheesh. I'm not ready to date, or even take a playmate. Guys move quickly around here on unattached females. I just say I'm not ready right now, and they're taking it fairly well.
My only visitors are family members or female friends. Perhaps I'm old fashioned about how things look. Especially while I'm still married. I could not honor my vows or myself if I was parading men around.
Now, on the other hand, I live the way I want to behind closed doors. I listen to corny tv shows when I'm on the treadmill. I love soaking in the tub until I'm pruny. Sometimes I order and eat dessert first. I do things like order a cinnamon tree, because I just want to grow one. I love to entertain, but seldom do it. I keep a basket of kaleidoscopes, and allow young visitors to choose one to take home. I remember what fun they are.
On the loveseat, curled up with Demeter. Apparently her dreams are exciting ones. Her feet are twitching to beat the band, she's also making funny growls.
Passenger is playing on the radio. Happy coincidence, I ordered one of their CDs earlier this evening. I'm looking forward to hearing more of their music.
Another brother-in-law came over this evening. I last saw him at thanksgiving. He's a real sweetheart. I mentioned that there was a dining table on my wish list. Within seconds he was on the phone arranging to have a spare one that he has in storage delivered. We had a great visit. we've been relatives since 1989. Long time as family, just as long as friends. I've been blessed with some amazing people who have become part of my life.
Speaking of, ran into an old friend earlier today when I was out. We were delighted to discover that we live across the street from each other. I love that about small towns, you find friends everywhere.
Got a number of things crossed off my list. Picked up a couple of boudoir lamps for the bedroom. Bought drapery rods, drapes, and a welcome mat for the front door. Put Garfunkel in the spare fishbowl so I can wash his big one. Stopped at the library and renewed my library card. I was still on file. After four years.... Grabbed a couple of their audiobooks. Checked my lottery numbers, doggone it. Took a lovely nap snuggled with Demeter. Ate the rest of the baba Ghanouj, sharing with my beastie.
Tonight, I'm enjoying my home. I'm putting the list of things I should be and need to be doing on hold for the night. I have a box of good chocolate, and am ignoring the calorie count. I'm listening to a little radio station out of Bartlesville, Oklahoma.
I've been busting my butt for months, and am ready for a break. Friends are traveling to Florida for the month of April. They want another person to go. I'm tempted, seriously. We used to go to a lake house one of them had during the 80's. We'd travel there for a week or more at a time. We had a lot of fun together.
The center of the dining room is procrastination central. It's piles of paperwork, new files and file folders. I'm waiting for bad weather to hit so I'm stuck inside and have to tackle it. Same for the toolbox and baskets of tools to put away. In February, indoor chores are ignored when it's nice enough to go outside.
Saturday.....
Backhanded a door frame while mopping. White walls, trim, floor, appliances, and cabinets are too much white. My lack of sight needs contrasting colors in order to function. Even in daylight, I have to reach to find door frames and cabinets. It all blends into one mass. The Mudroom and Laundry rooms open off the kitchen. They're all white also. I've got to decorate them with some pops of color so I can use things as landmarks.
The dining room table is here. I had to laugh when I saw it. Other than the top being a different wood, it's identical to the one on my amazon wish list.
Monday...
Don't think it's broken. I can move it. The bruising and swelling goes from the wrist to the second knuckles, front and back of the hand.
The plumbing decided to back up this morning. Turned out it was tree roots, a lot of them. Thank goodness for having landlords who take care of things quickly. Still have one bath sheet to wash. It took all of them to mop up the main mess. One pair of shoes in the trash from walking in it while cleaning it all up. Mopping the bathroom was on today's list, but not like that.
Wednesday.....
Another brother-in-law came over. We ate pizza, drank coffee and talked for over four hours. He raided my movie collection, and then called to find out what I wanted to borrow from his collection. He also brought me half a dozen movies just to get me started.
Word that I'm back without a spouse has gotten around town. I'm getting hit on already. Sheesh. I'm not ready to date, or even take a playmate. Guys move quickly around here on unattached females. I just say I'm not ready right now, and they're taking it fairly well.
My only visitors are family members or female friends. Perhaps I'm old fashioned about how things look. Especially while I'm still married. I could not honor my vows or myself if I was parading men around.
Now, on the other hand, I live the way I want to behind closed doors. I listen to corny tv shows when I'm on the treadmill. I love soaking in the tub until I'm pruny. Sometimes I order and eat dessert first. I do things like order a cinnamon tree, because I just want to grow one. I love to entertain, but seldom do it. I keep a basket of kaleidoscopes, and allow young visitors to choose one to take home. I remember what fun they are.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Wednesday.....
Wednesday evening. It's raining softly, and I'm finally winding down my day. Got a lot accomplished, and I feel good.
The backyard is cleaned up. Time to decide what to plant, as well as where to plant it. There is plenty of space for a pool. I'm figuring out what kinds of gravel to use under it as well as to put under the patio furniture and along walkways. Pea gravel is easy on bare feet, so that will likely be my choice. Thinking of using rose quartz as mulch around the plants. It's so pretty when it's wet.
Listening to OneRepublic tonight. I bought some of their CDs over the holidays, and am just getting around to playing them. Great music, I'm enjoying the variety that they perform.
Finally unpacked and set up the computer. Only have my amazon music on it so far. I need to load the rest of my music onto it.
Need to find a location for my printer. I'm extremely limited by a lack of electrical outlets in the house. Frustrating, I use the printer often and need it set up somewhere.
Moved the treadmill from the spare room to the dining room today. My back is shrieking in protest. I took an arthritis pill after that, but can still feel it. Now that it has been moved, I will use it more.
The spare room now holds linens, craft items, and Great Grandma's settee. The room looks huge. I need to get a bed to put in there. There's plenty of room for a king, but I'll probably put a queen in there.
Went grocery shopping yesterday with my sister-in-law. Got stocked up on groceries, and picked up a washing machine hose. Now my laundry is caught up after nine days worth of dirty clothes. Used my ancient wood drying rack as well as the clothes dryer and the clothesline in the Mudroom. Feels great to have that chore done.
I marked front and back steps with white tape so I can find edges easily.
Today, I ended up with another errand. The radio announced that the powerball jackpot is up to 400 million dollars. I thought, what the heck? Why not take a chance? The rain was still a couple of hours away when I headed out. 68 degrees, but I still ended up wearing a buttoned up sweater. It felt chilly, partly caused by the sky being overcast. Anyway, my powerball fantasy has always been to have new, clean windows installed so I don't have to wash them. Weird? Hey, it's my fantasy, it can be weird.
Tonight, I made Baba Ghanouj for dinner. Instead of middle eastern bread, I used tortillas to serve with it. If I want to go traditional, I'll have to make it from scratch myself. The two groceries in this town are extremely limited in their variety of products. Sad, considering that one is a super center.
Oh, grocery prices...... Use my grapefruit juice as an example. Same brand, same size. Prices taken from the receipts on the table in front of me....
Okc Walmart, $1.64
Here at Walmart, $2.00
Here at Homeland Store, $2.69
Guess who will get the least amount of my business? I had four small bags for $40 dollars when I shopped there last week. I get it though. It's small town in a county with over twenty percent of the population on welfare. No kidding. Personally, I will wait until I make trips to the city to shop and get nearly twice as much for my dollars.
I know, I know.... Support local business. I will, and I do, happily. This is home, it's where friends and family are. It's where they work, the dollars spent support their families as well as the local community. It's where I shop, but not for groceries. Those prices offend me on too many levels. For that extra dollar and five cents a bottle, I could buy a lot more food. Btw, I usually purchase ten bottles at a time. That's $10.50 extra for the convenience of a store four blocks from home. No thanks.
'Nuff griping. I knew moving back here that some things would be expensive. I'm pretty much a captive audience for local prices. Can't drive anymore, and it's forty miles to the nearest city. Unless I get a ride with a friend, I'm stuck paying whatever the sticker says.
Tonight, I'm thinking of watching The Avengers. Demeter is asleep in the tv chair, so I may have to awaken her with bribes of her favorite cookies.
Big news, I've lost twelve pounds in the past nine days. My pants are sagging........
The backyard is cleaned up. Time to decide what to plant, as well as where to plant it. There is plenty of space for a pool. I'm figuring out what kinds of gravel to use under it as well as to put under the patio furniture and along walkways. Pea gravel is easy on bare feet, so that will likely be my choice. Thinking of using rose quartz as mulch around the plants. It's so pretty when it's wet.
Listening to OneRepublic tonight. I bought some of their CDs over the holidays, and am just getting around to playing them. Great music, I'm enjoying the variety that they perform.
Finally unpacked and set up the computer. Only have my amazon music on it so far. I need to load the rest of my music onto it.
Need to find a location for my printer. I'm extremely limited by a lack of electrical outlets in the house. Frustrating, I use the printer often and need it set up somewhere.
Moved the treadmill from the spare room to the dining room today. My back is shrieking in protest. I took an arthritis pill after that, but can still feel it. Now that it has been moved, I will use it more.
The spare room now holds linens, craft items, and Great Grandma's settee. The room looks huge. I need to get a bed to put in there. There's plenty of room for a king, but I'll probably put a queen in there.
Went grocery shopping yesterday with my sister-in-law. Got stocked up on groceries, and picked up a washing machine hose. Now my laundry is caught up after nine days worth of dirty clothes. Used my ancient wood drying rack as well as the clothes dryer and the clothesline in the Mudroom. Feels great to have that chore done.
I marked front and back steps with white tape so I can find edges easily.
Today, I ended up with another errand. The radio announced that the powerball jackpot is up to 400 million dollars. I thought, what the heck? Why not take a chance? The rain was still a couple of hours away when I headed out. 68 degrees, but I still ended up wearing a buttoned up sweater. It felt chilly, partly caused by the sky being overcast. Anyway, my powerball fantasy has always been to have new, clean windows installed so I don't have to wash them. Weird? Hey, it's my fantasy, it can be weird.
Tonight, I made Baba Ghanouj for dinner. Instead of middle eastern bread, I used tortillas to serve with it. If I want to go traditional, I'll have to make it from scratch myself. The two groceries in this town are extremely limited in their variety of products. Sad, considering that one is a super center.
Oh, grocery prices...... Use my grapefruit juice as an example. Same brand, same size. Prices taken from the receipts on the table in front of me....
Okc Walmart, $1.64
Here at Walmart, $2.00
Here at Homeland Store, $2.69
Guess who will get the least amount of my business? I had four small bags for $40 dollars when I shopped there last week. I get it though. It's small town in a county with over twenty percent of the population on welfare. No kidding. Personally, I will wait until I make trips to the city to shop and get nearly twice as much for my dollars.
I know, I know.... Support local business. I will, and I do, happily. This is home, it's where friends and family are. It's where they work, the dollars spent support their families as well as the local community. It's where I shop, but not for groceries. Those prices offend me on too many levels. For that extra dollar and five cents a bottle, I could buy a lot more food. Btw, I usually purchase ten bottles at a time. That's $10.50 extra for the convenience of a store four blocks from home. No thanks.
'Nuff griping. I knew moving back here that some things would be expensive. I'm pretty much a captive audience for local prices. Can't drive anymore, and it's forty miles to the nearest city. Unless I get a ride with a friend, I'm stuck paying whatever the sticker says.
Tonight, I'm thinking of watching The Avengers. Demeter is asleep in the tv chair, so I may have to awaken her with bribes of her favorite cookies.
Big news, I've lost twelve pounds in the past nine days. My pants are sagging........
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Resting tonight.....
More accomplished. The garage is in order, the yard is partially cleaned up. The patio furniture (nice Surprise) buried under a mountain of leaves is cleaned up and in place. Note, I need new cushions for the chairs. Except for replacing the front door screen, the front porch is done until it's warm enough to add hanging plants.
I put solar lights in the flower beds around the front porch. I then took a decorative flower pot, filled it with river rocks, and inserted five solar lights in it. It's in the center of the table in the backyard, surrounded by deep, comfy chairs. Next, I need to run a clothesline from one of the chairs to the back steps so I can sit out there at night without getting lost.
The landlord came over last night and adjusted the new tub faucet. Now I can enjoy hot baths after a week of lukewarm ones. Wonderful stuff.
Albums and CDs are organized, as are DVDs. A big exercise area is set up in the dining area.
Still need to hook up the new washer and dryer. The hoses that came with the washer are cheap, leaking at both ends, even with the rubber washers inserted. Desperate to do some laundry after being here a week, I may use the new garden hose on it until I can get to the hardware store.
Note, garden hose idea did not pan out. Only one end had the right connection. I need to go get washer hoses tomorrow.
Demeter and I took a walk to the Dari Diner last night for a burger and fries. We cut it close, the sun set while we were waiting on our order. She got me home safely in the dark. Pretty great, considering she'd not been in town in years. Still, she dragged me home, literally dragged me home, as fast as she could get me here. We have to work on that.
I lost seven pounds last week. Thought I was eating enough, apparently not. I've been eating from a family size pan of fettucini and meatballs from Mazzios. Great stuff, now I know I need to eat more. Also, I've been eating bananas and clementines, drinking a lot of grapefruit juice. Vanilla wafers are a daily snack.
No junk food in the house makes a big difference. I had three cabinets in the old house devoted to hubby's snacks and cereals. No such things here, other than fruits and ingredients to make things. It can't tempt me if it's not here.
Worn out, rested most of the afternoon and evening. Soaked in the tub until I became pruny. It's been a busy several weeks, and it's catching up. May take it easy for a couple of days.....
I put solar lights in the flower beds around the front porch. I then took a decorative flower pot, filled it with river rocks, and inserted five solar lights in it. It's in the center of the table in the backyard, surrounded by deep, comfy chairs. Next, I need to run a clothesline from one of the chairs to the back steps so I can sit out there at night without getting lost.
The landlord came over last night and adjusted the new tub faucet. Now I can enjoy hot baths after a week of lukewarm ones. Wonderful stuff.
Albums and CDs are organized, as are DVDs. A big exercise area is set up in the dining area.
Still need to hook up the new washer and dryer. The hoses that came with the washer are cheap, leaking at both ends, even with the rubber washers inserted. Desperate to do some laundry after being here a week, I may use the new garden hose on it until I can get to the hardware store.
Note, garden hose idea did not pan out. Only one end had the right connection. I need to go get washer hoses tomorrow.
Demeter and I took a walk to the Dari Diner last night for a burger and fries. We cut it close, the sun set while we were waiting on our order. She got me home safely in the dark. Pretty great, considering she'd not been in town in years. Still, she dragged me home, literally dragged me home, as fast as she could get me here. We have to work on that.
I lost seven pounds last week. Thought I was eating enough, apparently not. I've been eating from a family size pan of fettucini and meatballs from Mazzios. Great stuff, now I know I need to eat more. Also, I've been eating bananas and clementines, drinking a lot of grapefruit juice. Vanilla wafers are a daily snack.
No junk food in the house makes a big difference. I had three cabinets in the old house devoted to hubby's snacks and cereals. No such things here, other than fruits and ingredients to make things. It can't tempt me if it's not here.
Worn out, rested most of the afternoon and evening. Soaked in the tub until I became pruny. It's been a busy several weeks, and it's catching up. May take it easy for a couple of days.....
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Survival
Got on Facebook this evening to discover a change in my status, still was listed as married, now minus the Hubby's name. Today was bad enough without him rubbing it in. What a truly miserable, completely crappy day. Happy Freakin' Valentine's day to me.
I made my first excursion out of the house today. Went to city hall to finish signing municipal utility paperwork, hit the grocery store, and picked up a carton of cigarettes. Was more than ready to return home. The temps were in the sixties, the sun was out. Nice for February.
Treadmill is set up, time to return to the five mile a day routine. There's an emergency cutoff for when vertigo hits, I have rails that I hang onto, and I keep the phone on hand.
The exercise is vital. A sedentary life will send me far into depression, as well as invite more illness to wreak havoc on my system. The diseases I have are more than enough, thank you. I have no desire to add to them. Definitely have no desire to have more medicines added to my system which will bring on another nightmare of side effects. Nope, better to stay as healthy as possible.
I semi decorated the spare room with Mom's oil paintings of ocean scenes. There are boxes of bedding awaiting a bed in that room, along with unopened boxes of craft items. Finally getting it all in order and feeling comfortable.
Next is cleaning up the yards as well as organizing the garage. Both chores require cooperating weather. The local weathermen are positively giddy forecasting sixties and perhaps a few seventies over the next week. I plan to take full advantage of the weather to get those places in order. Even just an hour each afternoon should be more than enough to get it all accomplished.
This evening was pure survival, no tv, no Delilah on the radio, and especially no movies that could remind me of what is gone. I'm doing what I have to in order to just get by until midnight. Sad, isn't it?
I made my first excursion out of the house today. Went to city hall to finish signing municipal utility paperwork, hit the grocery store, and picked up a carton of cigarettes. Was more than ready to return home. The temps were in the sixties, the sun was out. Nice for February.
Treadmill is set up, time to return to the five mile a day routine. There's an emergency cutoff for when vertigo hits, I have rails that I hang onto, and I keep the phone on hand.
The exercise is vital. A sedentary life will send me far into depression, as well as invite more illness to wreak havoc on my system. The diseases I have are more than enough, thank you. I have no desire to add to them. Definitely have no desire to have more medicines added to my system which will bring on another nightmare of side effects. Nope, better to stay as healthy as possible.
I semi decorated the spare room with Mom's oil paintings of ocean scenes. There are boxes of bedding awaiting a bed in that room, along with unopened boxes of craft items. Finally getting it all in order and feeling comfortable.
Next is cleaning up the yards as well as organizing the garage. Both chores require cooperating weather. The local weathermen are positively giddy forecasting sixties and perhaps a few seventies over the next week. I plan to take full advantage of the weather to get those places in order. Even just an hour each afternoon should be more than enough to get it all accomplished.
This evening was pure survival, no tv, no Delilah on the radio, and especially no movies that could remind me of what is gone. I'm doing what I have to in order to just get by until midnight. Sad, isn't it?
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Progress settling in.....
I'm now living in the little cottage on a quiet street. Spent most of my time over the last four days unpacking and decorating, listening to music and books, and awaiting deliveries.
The refrigerator and vacuum have arrived. The washer and dryer are anxiously awaited. Instead of a microwave, I ordered a set of tfal pots and pans. How's that in terms of confidence in my cooking skills? Perhaps it is instead hope, or optimism. Who knows?
There are several huge boxes in the center of the dining room full of family pictures, dating from the 1860's to this past Christmas. I've only put a dozen or so on display.
The spare room is closed off while our area has temperatures in the teens. The treadmill will remain in there, as will crafts and Christmas decor. I'd like to find an armoire to store the craft items.
There is one box of decor to unpack. Most of my clothing is still in the spare closet, needing moved to my bedroom closet, as well as the majority of my shoes.
Need to find a place for electronics, mainly the printer and desktop. The plants are in the spare room. Now that the curtains and drapes are hung in all but three rooms, I can relocate plants to their homes.
You can easily see that this house was built in a different era. There is one electrical outlet in the dining room. The kitchen cabinets rise to the nine foot ceiling. The kitchen sink is all metal cabinet with a giant double sink and porcelain drain boards built in on both sides. Baseboards are 1x12's, door trim are 1x6's. The bathroom doors are only six feet high. The windows are original, with the old rope and pulley system built into the frames. The roof overhang ensures that the south side of the house receives full sun in the winter months, as well as mostly shade in the summer.
The garage and my toolboxes need to be organized. With temps reaching the sixties over this coming weekend, those chores should be easy.
I've only glanced around the front and back yards so far. Looking over my lists for gardening and decorating tells me I will be busy out of doors for a long time.
There is plenty to keep me occupied.
Over the weekend, I had several relatives show up and help with the moving. Paid a couple of young men to unload the trailer. It was done in three trips, the last done without the trailer. The Expedition loaded with last minute items, plants and pets.
Made a couple of trips to the store. My sister-in-law took me to the grocer in her Solstice. I call the car her husband's midlife crisis. Good thing my list was small. There is not much room in that auto.
A dear friend came over on Saturday night. We laughed and cried, chatted for hours about everything. We sampled the cranberry cordial I made last autumn, and it was delicious, more tart than sweet.
My brother-in-law hooked up the electronics. The over the air antenna pulls in three channels, one of which will permit me to listen to Survivor when the new season airs later this month. I may want to get cable at some point. The tv is off by itself in a corner of the dining room with a comfy chair pulled up next to it.
I will definitely need wifi here. My hotspot on the phone is slower than dial up. Disappointing, most things won't load, videos online and Pinterest just aren't happening without better internet. Facebook takes over ten minutes to load, and only typed posts, no pics. Something I need to get shortly.
Had a wonderful visit with my brother-in-law. We haven't spent any time just talking in years. He likes a lot of the same authors that I do. I love finding early or first editions of books that he enjoys. Last Christmas, I sent him four by Edgar Rice Burroughs. When I was pregnant years ago, and stuck in bed for weeks, he would bring me stacks of books. He's worse than me when it comes to his home library. Won't lend them out to anyone, so I know that was a big sacrifice on his part, even if it was a loan. Special guy, he's part of the reason that I love my family.
I could go on and on. It seems that I am tonight. Can't sleep, so I may as well ramble on a bit.
The refrigerator and vacuum have arrived. The washer and dryer are anxiously awaited. Instead of a microwave, I ordered a set of tfal pots and pans. How's that in terms of confidence in my cooking skills? Perhaps it is instead hope, or optimism. Who knows?
There are several huge boxes in the center of the dining room full of family pictures, dating from the 1860's to this past Christmas. I've only put a dozen or so on display.
The spare room is closed off while our area has temperatures in the teens. The treadmill will remain in there, as will crafts and Christmas decor. I'd like to find an armoire to store the craft items.
There is one box of decor to unpack. Most of my clothing is still in the spare closet, needing moved to my bedroom closet, as well as the majority of my shoes.
Need to find a place for electronics, mainly the printer and desktop. The plants are in the spare room. Now that the curtains and drapes are hung in all but three rooms, I can relocate plants to their homes.
You can easily see that this house was built in a different era. There is one electrical outlet in the dining room. The kitchen cabinets rise to the nine foot ceiling. The kitchen sink is all metal cabinet with a giant double sink and porcelain drain boards built in on both sides. Baseboards are 1x12's, door trim are 1x6's. The bathroom doors are only six feet high. The windows are original, with the old rope and pulley system built into the frames. The roof overhang ensures that the south side of the house receives full sun in the winter months, as well as mostly shade in the summer.
The garage and my toolboxes need to be organized. With temps reaching the sixties over this coming weekend, those chores should be easy.
I've only glanced around the front and back yards so far. Looking over my lists for gardening and decorating tells me I will be busy out of doors for a long time.
There is plenty to keep me occupied.
Over the weekend, I had several relatives show up and help with the moving. Paid a couple of young men to unload the trailer. It was done in three trips, the last done without the trailer. The Expedition loaded with last minute items, plants and pets.
Made a couple of trips to the store. My sister-in-law took me to the grocer in her Solstice. I call the car her husband's midlife crisis. Good thing my list was small. There is not much room in that auto.
A dear friend came over on Saturday night. We laughed and cried, chatted for hours about everything. We sampled the cranberry cordial I made last autumn, and it was delicious, more tart than sweet.
My brother-in-law hooked up the electronics. The over the air antenna pulls in three channels, one of which will permit me to listen to Survivor when the new season airs later this month. I may want to get cable at some point. The tv is off by itself in a corner of the dining room with a comfy chair pulled up next to it.
I will definitely need wifi here. My hotspot on the phone is slower than dial up. Disappointing, most things won't load, videos online and Pinterest just aren't happening without better internet. Facebook takes over ten minutes to load, and only typed posts, no pics. Something I need to get shortly.
Had a wonderful visit with my brother-in-law. We haven't spent any time just talking in years. He likes a lot of the same authors that I do. I love finding early or first editions of books that he enjoys. Last Christmas, I sent him four by Edgar Rice Burroughs. When I was pregnant years ago, and stuck in bed for weeks, he would bring me stacks of books. He's worse than me when it comes to his home library. Won't lend them out to anyone, so I know that was a big sacrifice on his part, even if it was a loan. Special guy, he's part of the reason that I love my family.
I could go on and on. It seems that I am tonight. Can't sleep, so I may as well ramble on a bit.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Thoughts
The first load is in the trailer. We're looking at at least three trips to move everything. Appliances are on order, and will be delivered after I get there.
Moving breaks my heart. I don't want to leave. I don't want a divorce. I don't want the end of this marriage.
I'm scared of being alone.
I'm grateful for what was. I had magic for awhile. I had the privilege of being a grandma. I travelled. Did and saw several things on the top of my bucket list. I received more flowers in the past few years than in my entire life. I was loved.
How I will miss this home, the love that was here.
We've talked, we've remembered, we've cried.
Only two more nights here, and then I will be in a new home. I'm not ready.
Moving breaks my heart. I don't want to leave. I don't want a divorce. I don't want the end of this marriage.
I'm scared of being alone.
I'm grateful for what was. I had magic for awhile. I had the privilege of being a grandma. I travelled. Did and saw several things on the top of my bucket list. I received more flowers in the past few years than in my entire life. I was loved.
How I will miss this home, the love that was here.
We've talked, we've remembered, we've cried.
Only two more nights here, and then I will be in a new home. I'm not ready.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Update, etc.
Update
Since I last wrote, my friend was transferred from the ICU at Ball Hospital in Muncie to the ICU at a hospital in Indianapolis. She's since been stepped down from ICU, had a lot of tests, and is having surgery again tomorrow.
What a nightmare. Her family is with her. They post regular updates and message me frequently.
This is so hard. Too many miles and too much going on.
The packing continues. Still have to pack clothing, a stack of things on the kitchen table, last minute bathroom and pet items, etc.
There is a big enclosed trailer parked outside, ready to fill. Once that is done, there will be room to bring my furniture into the garage from the covered patio and the living room.
I want to go through the liquor cabinet. Neither of us are drinkers, but we like to have some on hand for visitors and guests. Heck, I still have rum in there from the nineties. No kidding, the bottle is over half full. Guess I'll never have a drinking problem.
The list making is worked at sporadically. I keep thinking of things. Items to pack, a note describing the decor divided by room. Another note contains ideas for the yard and gardens. Frustrating that when we went to see the house, it was fully furnished. I didn't get a good look at any part of the house. I'm going by impressions and ideas. Google map street view is an open tab on the browser, there are a total of eight views so I have a pretty good idea of spaces indoors.
I need to remove and clean the covers from all of the furniture cushions.
I went to the low vision store this afternoon. Up from 6x to 8x magnifiers for reading. A pair set me back $120. Reading is easier, but still done from six inches or less. Better is better, and that is all that matters.
Since I last wrote, my friend was transferred from the ICU at Ball Hospital in Muncie to the ICU at a hospital in Indianapolis. She's since been stepped down from ICU, had a lot of tests, and is having surgery again tomorrow.
What a nightmare. Her family is with her. They post regular updates and message me frequently.
This is so hard. Too many miles and too much going on.
The packing continues. Still have to pack clothing, a stack of things on the kitchen table, last minute bathroom and pet items, etc.
There is a big enclosed trailer parked outside, ready to fill. Once that is done, there will be room to bring my furniture into the garage from the covered patio and the living room.
I want to go through the liquor cabinet. Neither of us are drinkers, but we like to have some on hand for visitors and guests. Heck, I still have rum in there from the nineties. No kidding, the bottle is over half full. Guess I'll never have a drinking problem.
The list making is worked at sporadically. I keep thinking of things. Items to pack, a note describing the decor divided by room. Another note contains ideas for the yard and gardens. Frustrating that when we went to see the house, it was fully furnished. I didn't get a good look at any part of the house. I'm going by impressions and ideas. Google map street view is an open tab on the browser, there are a total of eight views so I have a pretty good idea of spaces indoors.
I need to remove and clean the covers from all of the furniture cushions.
I went to the low vision store this afternoon. Up from 6x to 8x magnifiers for reading. A pair set me back $120. Reading is easier, but still done from six inches or less. Better is better, and that is all that matters.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)