So far, so good

More progress today, still feeling great. Hopefully the last of the methotrexate is out of my system. Still losing a lot of hair, about a quarter of it has fallen out. I'm counting on that stopping soon and having new hair growing in.

Got on the treadmill this morning. My knee screamed at the one mile mark so I wrapped it up. Even at the very flattest level there is still a bit of an incline on that machine, not much, but enough to hurt it. The knee hyperextends and collapses from time to time so that doesn't help. Still it is safer than walking on 50th street. Tomorrow, I'll try for a mile and a half.

Got most of the week's cleaning done today. The laundry is caught up, folded and put away. Feels great to feel good enough to do those things.

Now that I'm feeling better my schedule is rapidly filling up. Tomorrow is White Cane Training. Wednesday is Occupational Therapy, followed by the Annual Boob Squash aka the Yearly Mammogram. Thursday is the first visit with my Shrink in quite awhile. Hey, at least some of that gets me out of the house for awhile.

Speaking of getting out of the house, there are more weeds than flowers in my gardens. I need to get those pulled and feed some MiracleGro to the plants that are supposed to be there.

My butterfly orchid bloomed yesterday and there are two more buds ready to open. Very pretty, and I am excited to see it flourish. After having it for almost a year I had pretty much given up on it ever blooming. Once the fig and key lime trees are large enough, I'd like to grow orchids on them. The vanilla orchids are lovely and provide vanilla bean pods. They are on my list of plants that I'd like to grow as well as a cinnamon tree.

So far it's a terrific week and I'm truly enjoying myself.

Sunday

Today is wonderful, and it's still before 1 pm. Sleeping in until 8, waking up feeling terrific, just enjoying a lovely day. We went to Braum's for an ice cream cone this afternoon, and I can still taste orange sherbet. Demeter, of course, got the empty cone.

I've done a couple of loads of laundry, read a couple of stories, listened to a golf tournament, and spent time curled up in a huge chair planning my upcoming week.

Later I may cook dinner. There is leftover red beans and rice along with a pot of homemade chili. Perhaps I'll just make a pan of cornbread and we can just heat up what we want.

I'm looking forward to a week where I feel healthy and happy.

This has been the first weekend that I've felt good in such a long time. I finally grocery shopped for the first time since mid-June. I was just too ill to attempt it. And yes, it did wear me out but in a good way. Still it feels great to be out shopping. The fridge and cupboards are stocked. That frees me up to concentrate on other things. This week I will once again see my occupational therapist, learning new ways to maneuver around the kitchen. Also, I will see my shrink for the first time in over a month this week. I miss getting her take on things.

This year has been so hard. My sight is worse, I've been ill for quite awhile. Mom and Dad died 13 weeks apart. The crap goes on and on. I haven't mourned, it's just too hard with everything going on. At some point it will knock me on my butt, I already know that. Something else to deal with when it happens.

Enough for now.....

Much Better and Eye Doctor Visit

Yet another good, and by good I mean great day! Feeling healthy, my energy is back, spirits good. It feels like I'm Me again.

Still mostly blind, still dizzy when my head turns left or when things move quickly in front of me. But otherwise I feel great.

We went out to celebrate at Charleston's restaurant. I brought home some key lime pie, one of my favorite desserts.

Tomorrow morning is a return visit with my eye specialist. Another failed treatment, that's 2 so far. So, what next? Really not good treatments and those are pretty much the least harmful. 

......

Okay, saw the eye specialist this morning, did the OCT, rescheduled next appt for November. There is more vision loss in the left eye, but I knew that. Unless something new, wonderful and effective is discovered, we are just monitoring sight loss. I won't touch the class of drugs that I have already tried again. I'm very interested in the microchip implant. As far as I know it is still only for Retinitis Pigmentosa patients. I hope that it will be available to people with other eye diseases soon.

So now I am just focusing on adjusting more to having less sight. Adapting methods of doing things so I can keep living this life that I enjoy so much.

Being back to healthy has made a universe of difference for me. Today I made a huge pot of chili and homemade biscuits with butter and honey for supper. It even feels good just to feel like cooking.

Enough for now.....

Feeling Better

I'm being positive. I've felt better over the past few days. Trying to pace myself and not overdo things, just moving steadily and taking a lot of breaks. I'm still not doing heavy cleaning or anything strenuous, but will work up to those things.

Nice to have the exhaustion leaving my body as the methotrexate gets out of my system. I keep drinking a lot of water and tea, doing 15mg of Folic acid daily, and moving slowly. I strolled a half mile on the treadmill yesterday, and plan to be on it daily again.

Perhaps I can get out on the etrike tomorrow. I miss being able to get out and go places.

So many little projects to keep me busy until I get all of my strength back, the list of them is long. Still, I'd rather be doing the big things.

Straightened my hobby cabinet today, sitting on floor pillows in the kitchen to do it. I had made a huge mess of sewing supplies when I hemmed a summer dress, so the cupboard really needed tending to.

I've been working on the big scrapbook, found out that my 3 hole punch won't work with 12x12 pages, so I'll improvise. I've filled a couple dozen pages and have yet to get up to emails from the time we first met face to face. At this rate the scrapbook will be a couple of feet thick by the time that it is finished. No, I'm not kidding.

Enough for now....

Thinking

It is said that all of the very best stories begin with Once Upon A Time. They also begin with wishes, hopes and dreams. Getting out of one's comfort zone, that safe little place in life where we exist, dreaming of what-if, is where the magic begins. When we finally reach for the dreams and fantasies that we have carried in our hearts and minds all of our lives, wonderful things happen. Happily ever after really and truly does exist, but only if you are willing to open your heart and mind. Bravery is not just slaying dragons, it's also being vulnerable. It is opening up and admitting honestly to yourself that the things that you really want are things that are outside of your comfort zone. Courage is stepping out of that place and taking the life that you want. It is living by your own standards. It is living a life that is true to yourself. It is not living the way your neighbors, family, friends or society does unless that is what you desire. Everything you could ever possibly want is right in front of you. 

Health, apartment, home

Another trip to see my GP.  A b12 shot and kicking up the Folic acid up to 15 mg daily. If there is no improvement in a week then more heart tests will be done. (God, I am so freaking sick of tests and doctors!)

Last week the left eye deteriorated more to the point where even light colors create a bright haze.

Still not going anywhere except for trips to the doctor's office. I'm hoping to feel well enough to make a trip to Michael's Craft Store in the next few days. I need more scrapbooking supplies and a change of scenery, even if just for a few minutes.

I awoke to thunderstorms this morning. Lovely stuff, several hours of rain to take care of my gardens and to keep today in the decent temperature range. I turned on the furnace to take off the chill. Sure didn't think I'd be doing it during July in Oklahoma.

Ordered a couple of books of Jack Vettriano prints on amazon this morning. That will help me to choose the ones that I'd like to use when we begin redecorating the guest apartment. I don't want a generic place for guests, any hotel can give that. It should be a place where every luxury is available, where special memories are created. To be honest, it will be a place to knock the socks off of anyone who stays there. I want people to look forward to the opportunity to stay there. Over the top? Why not?

Before Pammy moved in the apartment was decorated with Monet prints and scenes of Venice and the Mediterranean Sea. It looked incredible, but I'm ready for a change of pace. Getting away from safe decorating and going just a bit more edgy will be fun.

I truly love the way that our home looks. Every part has been remodeled since we moved in together. All lighting and fixtures have been replaced, every surface painted, and the carpet was replaced just over a year ago. We kept the antiques, the nicest furniture, and purchased new pieces to reflect our tastes. The house is a mix of his, mine and our things. I've gotten rid of most of the excess items and upgraded quite a few for comfort and luxury.

Every last bit has to be finished while I still have a bit of sight. I want to know that my home is filled with beauty. There is a folder containing items that I want to buy to replace items as they wear out over the years. That way, anyone helping me shop in the future will be able to see exactly what I want.

In my mind I can see the decorating that we have done as well as the things that I'd perhaps someday  like to do. Knowing that my home is beautiful is important to me. It's not a want, it's a need.

Enough for now.....

Life lessons

Some things I have learned in life.....

If you have an opportunity to do something special or unusual, do it.

Being unhappy breeds unhappiness.

Smiles are free.

Kindness is always the best response.

Use the good china, crystal, silver, linens, etc. Make your loved ones feel just as special as you do your guests.

Time spent with children will make you younger.

Time spent with loved ones making memories is never, ever wasted.

Blowing bubbles is just plain fun.

Your comfort zone is a boring place to spend all of your time.

Never end time with loved ones without saying "I love you". It may be your last opportunity to say it to them.

If your bikini bottoms are not really snug, cross your ankles when going off of the high dive.

Money spent on the best bed, linens and pillows is always money well spent.

When someone is hurting, the best thing you can do is listen.

Laughter really is the best medicine unless you have stitches in your abdomen.

Snuggling makes you both happy.

Husbands love being met at the door with hugs and kisses.... So do other family members

Swing sets are fun.

Good manners are always appropriate.

The only time to leave your home in pajamas is in an ambulance. For everything else get dressed.

Being able to soak in the tub should be celebrated. Music, a cup of tea, candles, a great book and a warm fluffy towel are a great start.

Sleeping in is pure heaven. The only time to get up before the chickens is to catch a plane.

If a man asks where you got your perfume so that he can buy some for his mother, you are wearing the wrong perfume.

The shriek of a toddler is the perfect sound for a burglar alarm.

Never, ever try to change a man. You fell in love with him just as he is. Appreciate him for himself. 

If you want to change someone, make sure it's yourself. 

Learning, no matter what kind, is always good.

Nice things rarely cost more than cheap ones in terms of use. Buy the item once instead instead of a cheap substitute several times. Think of can openers if you need an example.

Taking care of yourself should be first.

Pets are part of the family once you bring them home. If a dog is going to be outside on a chain you belong out there too.

Paint is the easiest way to make the place you live into a home. Add music, plants, love, laughter and friendship to complete your environment into a place you love to be.

Friends need to have a place in your life. Not just for them, but also for yourself.

Family isn't always blood relations. Some of the closest families are related by love alone.

When you lie you have to remember it. Why not just be honest?

Lies are not alright except in the most special circumstances. Examples include telling a person that their loved one did not suffer, that their last words were of love and caring, etc. Sometimes those are the very greatest of kindnesses that there are.

Maintaining a clean environment is mandatory for good health, mental as well as physical.

No one should ever live in filth.

If you do not love your children enough to keep them safe and healthy then give them up for adoption. That might be the greatest act of love of all. Give them the opportunity to grow up.

Home should be a wonderful place to be and the place you look most forward to being at.

Be a great example instead of a bad one.

Pass on family stories before they are lost. Label the family pictures and give them out as soon as the family members are old enough to have them. Keep copies in a safe place so that they are not lost in natural disasters.

There is magic everywhere if you just stop and look around.

Everyday should be special and enjoyed.

Life is too short. Live, laugh and love every day.

Tears are the way that the soul heals.

Enough for now.....