Taking Care of Things

How did I get to be 51 years old without knowing that peroxide makes whites really white? Just tried it last night and was amazed. One thing I worry about is not being able to see stains and yellowing whites as my sight decreases more and more.

Funny that things like that really bother me. But they do, I can't help it. Things looking nice is important to me. How do blind people know when things look shabby and need replacing? Some things just can't be touched in order to know their condition and appearance.

I'm eating a lot of grapes and cuties (seedless clementines) lately. Other foods just don't appeal to me for some reason. At least they're good for me. The dog doesn't seem to like the red grapes much so she's not pestering me continuously for some. On the other hand, she can't get enough green grapes, she drools on my feet (no kidding, it's hilarious) whenever I'm snacking on them.

Yesterday my neighbor and I went to Nature's Treasures. She was shopping for incense, and I was going to see everything. The smells were delightful as we walked inside. They had a bit of everything for sale. I found a cute figurine of a mama owl and her babies. I also got some sage for smudging the house, it's long overdue. Restocked my mugwort too. Some medicines I'm on seem to bring on nightmares so I'll make a new dream pillow and see if that helps. There was a lovely wreath next to their door that I'd like to make one similar too. Wonder who carries violet poinsettias?

Not much for today, listening to OSU playing football and doing laundry. The house is clean and I like the way the house feels. I may tackle more of the Christmas closet over the weekend, after going through it the other day I pretty much have it under control, but know that more needs to be done. 

How do I know when I've gotten rid of enough? I don't want to be owned by possessions, but also do not wish to go without what I need to be comfortable in running my home. I've lived with very little before, having made a couple of fresh starts in the past, mainly by making huge moves and not wanting to haul everything partway across the country. Getting rid of stuff in order to have less without a plan does not make sense. What do I use, even if its once or twice a year? What do I really enjoy and love owning? Are these items that I keep beautiful? Or, are they there because its something I have to have? Is there an item that has multiple uses rather than having 2 or more things for a lot of individual tasks? There's more thought in downscaling than I had initially realized.

Crafty Room

Got the grocery shopping done today, it took just over 3 hours to accomplish. There has to be a better way than using an 8 x 10 magnifying glass, a list with inch tall letters, and saying a lot of bad words every time something is either moved or changes it's packaging. At least it's finished.

Quiet this evening. I am somewhat preoccupied.

I was using the knitting loom for the first time and realized I had not really made anything after going through a skein of yarn. Do I tie it off and call it good? Undo it, and start a knitting project for real? Perhaps start another skein of yarn and see what turns out. It's all a learning curve, right?

Hoping to get the trike out tomorrow if the weather cooperates. I need some fresh air, and a change of pace. It will let me have time to think about how I want to make the 7 lace purses without distractions, or the urge to go to the hobby room and start putting them together before working them out in my head. I have to picture it finished before I begin on this project. 10 beautiful pieces of handmade lace, each becoming a unique purse. 3 are finished except for a bit of trim, the others are waiting for the creative juices to flow. 2 will be for little girls, one for a teen, the rest for women. It challenges me to picture each one and then to backtrack through the steps it takes to make each look like the vision in my head. Luckily, I'm stocked with everything that could possibly be needed to create them. Making purses is something I'm truly enjoying. These are different than the simple sewn or crocheted purses I made over 30 years ago. I have books full of patterns, but I tend to look through them, and then just think about the fabrics and trims on hand. After that I just make what comes to me. I never have used a pattern for purse making, just let them make themselves with my hands helping to bring each one into being until they match what's in my thoughts.

The way the hobby room ( heck, I guess that's what I'll call it for now) is set up makes creating easy. There are places for all sorts of entertainment. My teeny, tiny sewing machine, a $29 shark, is set up in front of an east window. Perfect spot, I'll never touch it earlier than afternoon, the sunlight won't be an issue. Cubbies with pretty baskets hold craft materials. Others hold books, music, photos, a record player, tons of binders of info for downloaded classes, and plants. The begonias have hogged the north window and are growing large. Huge palms fill the east window on the table just past the sewing machine. The computer has its own corner, note to self, need a comfy chair. An antique settee has a place of honor. Grandma never let anyone sit on it. Since she gave it to me 14 years ago it has been used and enjoyed. The wood carvings are so lovely to touch and admire, the back and seat are perfect to sink into and stay with a book and a cup of tea for hours at a time. There are paintings and prints on all of the walls. Also Cirque de Soleil tickets thumb tacked to the wall by the computer. An antique prayer kneeler holds hats waiting to be redecorated. It's a lovely room and, while not large, is more than large enough to enjoy a number of things without feeling crowded. I like it a lot.

Enough, I'm headed to bed.

Wednesday and Things Done

The Christmas closet is done!!! What a project, there are huge bags ready to go out. Down to 3 wreaths, 5 totes and a small pile still to be gone through. I've yet to go through the trees, and will go through glass ornaments next week when the decorating begins. It feels wonderful to have this much done, so much less to deal with later.

With that done and my hobby room gone through, I can have places to craft and relax, to enjoy, to just sit and think for awhile. That's really nice, and I so truly appreciate having my own space. It's something I've not had since I was growing up. There are paintings on the wall, books on the shelves, a place for my tiny sewing machine and craft items, a computer corner, very comfy places to sit, lots of plants, music to listen to, and a treadmill with a DVD player to workout at.

The Christmas closet now has room for my out of season clothing. That makes more space for me to use and enjoy. Very pleasant, and it makes our home feel larger when things are put away.

Tonight is Survivor, and I'll snuggle up in my rocking chair next to the TV, and have an hour of fun......

Tuesday evening

Tuesday

I saw my youngest child today. He showed up this morning and we visited for a couple of hours before heading out again. I sure don't see much of him anymore, and that's pretty tough. I miss him. We spent years talking daily and now it's a one sentence Facebook post every few weeks if I'm lucky. Motherhood.....

Headed to my home office/hobby room to start on the Christmas closet and ended up doing that room instead today. It tends to get a bit out of control in a short amount of time. My projects are back in working order so I can easily locate my supplies. One chair still has things piled on it, and I should be able to finish that and begin on the Christmas closet before my doctors appointment tomorrow.

Hard to believe that November is almost half over, this year has gone so quickly. We did have a lot on our plates, but still, I have a hard time keeping track of time lately. Just a few more weeks until the holidays arrive, and a new year begins shortly after.

On the 26th of this month I return to my eye specialists to begin treatments. Looking forward to hopefully slowing the vision loss, but dreading the new round of side effects. They never end, every single dose of medicine taken daily causes them, and now we'll add to the fun.

Starting to think about Christmas shopping. Maybe online shopping again this year. Navigating crowds is getting tougher and tougher as my vision decreases. I want and need to get out. Almost no vision and hallucinating makes stores almost impossible. Going to An Affair Of The Heart showed me that. I still want to go out though, I almost crave being out, like having cabin fever or something similar. I'll figure it out.....

Much to accomplish...

Today I transplanted my Vanilla Orchid, Key Lime Tree and Magnolia Fig Tree. Along with doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen, I feel as though I've done more than enough.

My back is better, I'm taking half a pain pill when I go to sleep because it spasms when I roll over. Feels great to have most of the pain gone. Sleeping is helping with the healing process.

I anticipate a terrific week. There are a lot of things to do, not just taking care of the house, but also things to challenge and entertain me. I like having things to do. It sure beats sitting in a rocker listening to "judge shows" all day. My body feels better when there are projects, and I can see just how much I can do without sight. When I can adapt and do things I am happy. When I can't do things I try to figure out how to do whatever it is anyway. Right or wrong, I'll still try.

If my back will let me, then I'll try to get out and ride. I miss getting out. As much as I love my home, it's very isolating to be here except for trips to the doctor's, the grocery store and an occasional meal out. I have hobbies, the phone and the Internet. What I don't have is human interaction other than seeing my Darling Husband each evening. While I love being with him and having time together I really miss being around other people. A lot. I wish I could've had time to make friends when I moved down here. As it was, I spent all of my time working until I became ill. So now, I'm lonely. I may have to join a church or something to make friends. That means I may have to become religious (argh!) and I don't want to do that.

Tonight I'm lazing around. Going back through BrocanteHome's Trash It Or Treasure It. Having just sent a large number of bags and boxes off to relatives I thought things were pretty much under control. And then I opened the Christmas closet. Having weeded it out a month or so ago I didn't think too much of it. Looking at it today is another story. 7 Christmas trees, over 20 wreaths, giant tubs of lights (all indoor) and 9 humongous tubs full of nothing but ornaments. Sheesh! So, I'm out of touch with reality when it comes to the holiday decor. Funny, a blind woman with a great big blind spot where Christmas decorating is concerned. Guess what I'll be working on over the next couple of days? Yeah, it'll be a chore. I'd rather go through it while I still have a bit of sight left, instead of trying to do it all by touch.

Enough for tonight.........

Weekend Thoughts

And the weekend is here. Have taken down a lot of family portraits so I can can put up christmas decor on Black Friday. Can't bring myself to shop on that day after trying it once decades ago. Too much hassle, too much traffic, too many crowds, and it seems that everyone shopping is in panic mode that they won't get that holy grail of a bargain that will make their holiday experience true magic. Nah, I'll stay home, play holiday music and decorate to my heart's content.

No plans yet for Thanksgiving Day. Turkey doesn't sound like something I want on the menu this time. Is that American blasphemy? Barbeque is what is running through my head, or steaks on the grill. Key lime pie, baked potatoes or fried, cornbread, Le Soeur baby peas, salad, clementines. Just not the same ol' same ol'.

I've cleaned this morning, and need to do laundry. Every other day is a load of sheets and whites along with a load of bath sheets. I can go longer between times of doing laundry, but it takes a long time. Easier just to stay on top of it.

A half a pain pill and a two and a half hour nap have made a world of difference. Nah, I'm still blind, but my back feels much better. It would be amazing if a pill could let me see again, I 'm hoping to get in on a clinical trial in '14 that implants a microchip in the retina. I hear the initial trial in Europe went really well. It's for patients with Retinitis Pigmentosa, but perhaps I can talk (or bs) my way into the trial anyway.

What gets me is that in my dreams I can see perfectly. Everything is clear and in great detail. Everything is the way I remember it being, and so enjoyable, no squinting or headache from straining to try and focus. Then I wake up to three of everything, tunnel vision and what can be seen is a horrible blur. Is it any wonder that I enjoy sleep? 

Last night and this morning I was studying up on my eye disease. I do that frequently, looking to see if there are any new treatments that are promising for AutoImmune Retinopathy. There's just not much out there. The disease has no established treatment, no cure. Taking down the immune system may slow it down, possibly stop it for awhile. It won't restore my sight. 

Some of the treatments being experimented with have possible life threatening side effects. So, how much health to risk in order to see better? Is it worth dying in the first 24 hours of treatment? Is it worth kidney failure and a lifetime of dialysis? Is it worth melting the cornea and not knowing if the treatment is a success until someone dies and their corneas are transplanted into my eyes? The other risks are just as bad. Where do I decide that the risk is worth the treatment in order to see one or two more lines on the eye chart? My sight is at finger counting range now. If it could get my sight to the point where I could see with eyeglasses then I might think about the risks differently. Getting my sight to where I can read letters smaller than inch tall without a magnifying glass is another thing.

That's part of the problem with a rare eye disease. There's not tons of money being thrown at treatments leading to a cure. Not enough people even have it to do any large scale clinical trials. One hoped to get 7 people in order to have 5 to make it through the trial. Another tried 14 people. Just not enough cases. I'm the first patient my eye specialists have ever seen, and these are the guys who teach other eye specialists. It's a learning curve for all of us, and I'm studying just like my doctors are.

So now I've done my research and studying for a few days. I'm going to just enjoy life now, spending time with my Darling Husband and pets, make some more purses and take life as it comes.

Friday Night

Friday night is here, and we're winding down for the night. We went to dinner with Darling Husband's StepMother and had a terrific time. The RedRock Canyon Restaurant just reopened this week after a devastating fire last spring. It was so great to be there with the sun setting over Lake Hefner.

Now to prepare for the weekend. I sent boxes and bags full of household goods to relatives for their garage sale. The house even feels better with fewer items in it.

Mom received her latest box today. When I checked in with her she'd only gotten as far as the hats, scarves and sunglasses. I bet she'll have fun with it all this weekend.

Not much else for tonight. Time to take a pain pill, slap the stuff that irons out my wrinkles on my face and go see my pillow. 

Night all......